


The Community: Daddy's Little Girl

by sightsoblind



Series: Dead Works [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:39:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 82,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sightsoblind/pseuds/sightsoblind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taken from the streets and introduced to a whole new world one girl learns to find a place in the Community with her Daddy as his beloved little girl.<br/>The Community is a group of extremely wealthy individuals who live within a controlled community that caters to all their tastes allowing them to live in the open with it. Some live there permanently and some only stay for short whiles before returning to their lives outside. It's been going on for Generations and the rules are absolute. Subs are taken from the fringes of society and trained in the various forms.<br/>This story will follow the Doctor to the Community and his Little Girl. She begins the story at 17 and slowly learns to accept her position despite her initial resistance.<br/>It is my goal to take the rich character development applied to so much other fiction and apply it to a kink centric story. Just because we're freaks does not mean we don't deserve quality story as well. Follow me on this experiment in fiction and kink and see where it takes us.<br/>And... we're back I'll keep updating as the mood strikes me if you keep telling me how much you want more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On the Streets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have gotten some discussion about the choice for kidnapping so I will post the note from the begining of chapter 8 here as well to let people know from the moment you begin...
> 
> What’s with the Kidnapping? That’s the question I’ve gotten in several forms. To put it bluntly I had a few reasons. The first being literary. Having been a DM for D&D for a number of years I am fond of the “bottle neck” for throwing players together. This is where they are forced into a situation they can not escape and are forced to work through it until they unite and become a cohesive group. Second in embarking on this literary journey I tried to model a few things after romance novels. My favorite author being Joanna Lindsey. This woman has a kidnapping in EVERY STORY. It comes in many forms and at many times. Sometimes before love sometimes after sometimes by her hero and sometimes by the villain. So naturally I didn’t think much of it. Third it’s kind of a princess rescue to me. (Sorry Belle it’s all you’re fault.) A girl in a terrible situation is whisked away by her prince whom she grows to love and find utter joy with. Lastly, I kinda have a thing about it. It’s one of the situations that my S.O. and I have fantasized and played. Stockholm syndrome is a thing I personally enjoy although that will not be what happens here. The path to them being together will be a bit more natural in my mind. So that said… Please Enjoy.

    She could see her breath steaming out between her fingers but that didn't hold a candle to the fact she could feel the wind gusting through every little hole in her clothes. As she looked down the alley at the other huddled figures crowding around the oil drum for warmth it struck her exactly how far she had come.  Five years ago she had everything great grades in school wonderful parents and the cutest boyfriend a girl could ask for. It made her chest hurt to think of any of those things now. It had all come to a screeching halt in a single night of terrible silence. The rules were simple... miss curfew and you’re locked out for the night. The garage was her dads man cave anyway heated with a couch and a mini fridge so it wasn't a big deal. She didn't even bother checking to see if they forgot to lock her out. She knew she was late. The lights still on in the living room told her her parents hadn't gone to bed so there was no point in trying to sneak in. She left right out again the next morning for cheerleading practice.  
  
    It was late afternoon when she came home to cop cars and ambulances. In the movies she would have been just in time to catch one last glance. This wasn't the movies. Her parents were already in the ambulance as a police officer told her she couldn't go into the house. "There's been an accident," were the worst four words in the English language. She didn't hear anything else the officer said or if she did her memories had morphed them into a buzz of confusion and agony that could not be held by words. \  
  
    A carbon monoxide leak. A broken heater that had just then kicked on and dumped the poisonous gas into the air for hours. Her parents were gone.  
  
This is how the world ends not with a bang but a whimper.  
~Oscar Wilde  
  
    From there it was all a blur for a little while. No family and no will appointing a care taker put her into the system. A 12 year old fat girl with broken empty eyes didn't get adopted.  
  
    She landed in a foster home all smiles and bible verses. Happy hand holding sing along rivers of love. But it only made the hurt that much deeper and it wasn't long before she took off just trying to keep the bright light of their sing-along away from the dark hurt places in her heart.  
  
    It was another home after that who thought she just needed time. It was there she just stopped speaking. Not completely but exactly the minimum number of words to anything that required a response and none to anything that could have been remotely rhetorical. They asked that she be taken out. She was too difficult and not interested in help they said.  
  
    She was just interested in being left alone. Then it was off to the group home. Run by an older couple, a brother and sister pair in their sixties there were twelve kids in the house all of them repeat runaways. It wasn't until she broke a dish that she found out why they told her to watch herself. She was called to the basement and told to put her hands on two circles on the wall. "Ten swats. That’s what you get for the broken plate. Every time you move them we add ten more." A fucking spanking of all things but after the third he didn't move his hand he just let it sit there gently cupping her behind. She was almost seventeen now and had heard her share of stories but it was different than she'd imagined. It felt like someone had slow poured cold water down her spine as he just cupped her ass for a moment. It made her spin off away from him and his cold glare washed over her from between bushy eyebrows and tortoise shell frames. "Hands back on the wall dear you've got thirteen left now." She suffered through it slowly, it got a little worse after each one. A tiny squeeze, a lingering caress, whispered assurances that she was doing well and it was almost over.  
  
    She winced twice more ending up with a total of forty. By the end of it all he had his front pressed to the side of her hip where she could feel his flaccid dick pressing into her. She brought it up with the other girls that night.  
    "Ain't that bad," said one. "S'not like he can do nothin he ain't got that old thing up in years."  
    "Yeah," said another. "He don't hit hard neither. My step daddy used to make me suck it. I'd rather get felt up then go back to that shit."  
    She tried reporting it to her social worker and was told she wasn't going to get the attention she wanted by bringing such false charges against the most upright and long standing members of their foster program.  
  
    So she ran again.  
  
The caged bird sings  
with a fearful trill  
of things unknown  
but longed for still  
and his tune is heard  
on the distant hill  
for the caged bird  
sings of freedom.  
~Maya Angelou  
  
    When your seventeen and trying to stay out of foster care there are very few places you can go. Shelters and aid workers will turn you back in. Those that wont want you to talk about it. It was simple at first. Eat out of dumpsters and sleep in corners. But the moment you had a routine it was enough for someone else to notice and run you off. It was a slow fall by all accounts although looking back it all kinda blended together. Shelters only give you so long before you need to have a job and no one will hire you without a high school diploma or GED. Then its back on the streets dodging pimps.  
  
    It was Jesus who saved her.  
  
    A half mexican boy who had worked his way into all the empty places in her life. He filled silence with words that needed no response. He saw whatever she needed without her having to ask for it. He was about her age skin so gently tanned he could have been made of caramel. Thick dark brown hair and a laugh that made her remember how to smile again. He was her best friend. He checked out everything before he let her go. New plasma center? He went and made sure they'd take her faked id's so some over zealous nurse wouldn't snatch the only set she had. New soup kitchen? He'd make sure it wasn't just another cop trap snatching up the homeless to run prints and warrants. He always came back. Even if he got picked up by police the next day he was back out. He said it was his winning smile but she was sure he just talked to them until they threw him out just to make him shut up.  
  
    But he didn't come back this afternoon. Tent city wasn't necessary sexist. It was survival of the fittest. A Darwinian paradise and without a protector she was prey. It was a bitter fact of life that the more often you went hungry the easier it was to deal with. When you were always hungry it was just a fact of life. It didn't make it any easier to ignore the bits of leftovers dug out of restaurant bins or from the dented cans from the monthly food pantry. Accepting it meant you agreed to the price. A few moments of being pushed against and petted it was too cold to get out of the clothes. Jesus didn't mind it. He'd come back with his ill gotten gains and a smile that made her believe him when he said it was almost fun. So every inch of her froze when someone snuck up behind her and slid a cup of hot coffee into her view.  
  
    "Somethin' for nothin' and it didn't even hurt." She spun around so fast Jesus almost dropped the coffee. She clung to him like she had been drowning and he was her lifeline. In a way that's exactly what it was. She was about to drown in her own memories if she had to stand by that fire one more moment thinking about everyone who went away. He had on a brand new coat. Not new to him NEW new and he was already jamming a new hat on over the scarf on her head and pressing gloves into her hands.  
  
    "Where the fuck have you been! I've been going crazy!" He at least had the decency to look sheepish.  
  
    "Come on," He grabbed her hand and started pulling her off toward the edge of the encampment toward the lean to they shared. She wanted to ask, no she wanted to demand, answers but she couldn't, her throat had seized up and speaking was almost impossible. He was back and that was enough for now. She let him drag her up and into their little haven from the world that did little more than keep the worst of the wind and rain away. He had a bag of take away and the two of them tucked into it with fervor.  
  
    “I’m sorry it took so long. It’s this huge thing totally legit. They made me sit down with a therapist right. Made sure I wasn’t there for drugs and crap and that I wasn’t about to go kill myself. Then the doctor who was super nice. Dude offered me a teddy bear. It was funny as shit. He almost seemed upset I didn’t want it. But apparently that shit on my feet is a fungus. They gave me this cream I gotta keep putting on. But anyway after the nurse comes in and sits down with me. She said she came up on the street. Born out here you know. So she offered me like twenty bucks to help out. Take the trash out and mop the floors and shit. Then she takes me out and gets me this shit. Buys me dinner and drops me off. Told me to come back tomorrow and I can make a bit more.” Jesus is glowing with excitement. Its steady cash work and they aren’t going to kick him out for his circumstance. It’s damn near the holy grail of jobs for kids like them. She can’t help but smile too and the panic seizing her subsides enough to let her talk.  
  
    “I’m happy for you. We’ll have a bit here and there for a while.” She knew he was up to something when his grin only grew larger.  
  
     “You’re coming with me tomorrow. Doc says the shit on my feet is contagious. That means you’ve got it too, little miss I steal Jesus socks without washing them.” The desperate shaking of her head went completely ignored.  
  
    “I don’t care. You need to get your feet looked at. And that bruise on your wrist isn’t healing. Your cough is back too. Don’t pretend I didn’t notice. You damn near choke every morning. Now come on. Lets get some sleep the doors open at nine that way you can get in and out before any lines or crowds and I can do a full day of work instead of just a few hours.” Jesus dragged her down beside him and curled up into her back.  
  
    This was the extent of their physical relationship. He held her at night not because she needed it but because he did. Something had happened before she knew him that left him waking in a panic crying out in Spanish for someone he refused to discuss every time he slept alone. Some deep part of her was bothered that he never seemed to want anything more and the few fumbling attempts she had made had been laughed off as her being silly. Some small part of her was left hoping he was gay. It was too hard to think she was  
that disgusting even the boy who loved her more than anything would never touch her.  
  
  
Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance  
for a break that would make it okay  
there's always some reason  
to feel not good enough  
and it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction  
oh beautiful release  
memories seep from my veins  
let me be empty  
and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight  
~Sarah McLachlan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how long the Quotes and song Lyrics will last. The problem with a Gimmick is it quickly gets restrictive and I want it to fit into the narrative flow more than anything. At this time expect at least one at the end of each chapter.


	2. Psychological Evaluation

Jesus had been right about the lack of lines at the clinic. In fact there was almost no one there but for the receptionist who had opened the doors for them. The doctors were running late this morning but they were welcome to wait inside. It wasn’t a hard decision. Rain had started to fall already and there were bagels inside. She was handed a Ziploc bag and told to grab a few extras since no one around here had any taste and the receptionist was tired of throwing them away. Jesus was given a broom and put right to work leaving her sitting out front with her legs tucked up under her. 

She’s still there staring at the cartoons that are playing on the tv when a man comes in soaking from the rain. His hair is plastered to his cheeks and his glasses have fogged. His overcoat has become a shapeless wet mass around him as he drips water onto the floor and tries to smile at her through his bedraggled appearance. “Morning sweetheart. Anybody see you yet?”

If there were anyone else in the waiting area she would be sure he hadn’t been talking to her. She was used to people ignoring her due to the dirt or the old clothes. But mostly because not one inch of her didn’t scream homeless. In her limited experience people didn’t like acknowledging their perfect world was riddled with a cancer of ignorance of its own problems. She shook her head. “Doctor’s are running late sir. But there are Bagel’s if you like. Their really good.” She faintly remembered her mother talking about Dean Martin’s million dollar smile, but had never understood it before the wet man grinned at her with such perfect ease it made her heart try to hide in her throat. 

“Well that sucks. What kind of doctor shows up late to a free clinic. He’s probably a nutter. Maybe you should talk to the nurse and see if there’s anything to do while you wait. I’m gonna go try and find some dry clothes.” He stepped carefully over to the main desk and spoke to the receptionist for a moment before casually slipping through a door in the back. He must work here somewhere she thought. That would explain his ease but the receptionist walked over and offered her a smile. “Hey dearie do you want to get a shower? We’ve got a couple here and it might be easier if you’re clean. We’ve got some changes of clothes but your free to keep what you’ve got too. There’s even a washer in the back for the sheets and such if you want to make use of it while you’re seeing the doctors?” 

The offer earned the receptionist a nod and she followed closely after the woman to pick out a set of clean things and into the small clinic shower. She was given small bottles of shampoo and conditioner and an individual hotel soap. She pealed away clothes that could have stood up on their own and tossed them into the bottom of the shower to let them pre soak before dirtying the machine they were going to be nice enough to let her use. Under all the dirt her skin was pale and where once there was fat her hips stuck out and she could see her ribs. She worked the entire bottle of shampoo into her hair from roots to tips letting the suds turn black with all of the crap that had built up in her hair since her last shower almost a year ago. The hot water felt amazing and she let it rush over her washing away more than the dirt until she was on the floor crying. The water had long gone cold when she finally stood amazed no one had come to check on her but she quickly finished soaping and conditioning her hair shoving the new clothes on and putting her old things into the bag she was given. She took one step out of the small bathroom before stopping dead in her tracks. There was a woman there leaning against the wall in expensive clothes tapping away on her phone who smiled up at her. “Hi! I’m Doctor Gale or Margret if you prefer. It’s a pretty slow day. You’re my only patient actually. Do you want to come to my office and we can talk for a minute. Your friend told me all about you and I’m eager to see if he was right about how nice you are.” The doctor’s hand reached out and she took it carefully letting herself be led into an office filled with expensive furniture and beautiful artwork. It was nicer than any other she had ever seen in a clinic. 

“Take a seat anywhere you like.” The therapists statement didn’t give her any idea of what was expected and she didn’t move from the doorway to give any indication of where she would sit in relation. Finally she settled toward the end of a couch pulling her legs up under her. It was near enough to a chair to let the doctor sit comfortably and if she was going to be here for a while she wasn’t interested in any of the uncushioned seats. The woman walked over and lowered herself into the chair nearby.

“What do you want me to call you?” She noticed she didn’t ask for her real name or even the name on her id she wondered for a moment if she could get away with using her street name.

“Victoria.”

“That’s a nice name. Well first things first we don’t give out pain medication or any of the fun drugs here. Anything with street value you have to take here. Is that ok?” A nod was the only response but it seemed to be the right one as the woman smiled down on her. “Ok now my job here is to make sure you’re ok. You know no body is hurting you and you’re not going to hurt your self. Now don’t worry I won’t do anything except help you to find a better way. Now is there anything you want to tell me?” A head shake. “Ok that’s fine too. I want you to think really hard. Think about all the people who love you. If someone was hurting you name three people you could tell.”

“Um…” This was new she was unlike any therapist the state had ever made her see but she was willing to try. “Jesus, he’s always there to help he’s my best friend. Um…” There wasn’t anyone else. No one else cared or knew she was alive. Being invisible was her protection. Apparently it showed on her face because the woman leaned over and put a warm hand on hers. 

“You could tell me. Or any of the doctors here. Even one of the ladies at the desk. How about this.” She walked over and picked up an expensive looking clipboard and placed a single sheet of paper onto it. And grabbed a pen from a special slot in the top before handing it over. “People in your situation usually have something they want to say to their parents. Now don’t worry no one is going to read it. It’s just to get it out. So why don’t you write them a letter.” 

She took it and watched as the woman moved back to the desk across the room before she began writing. She wasn’t aware of the tears running down her face for a second time that day as she told them how much she missed them. She told them she was sorry and that she just wanted to go back and make it right. She filled the whole page and signed it before looking up. Doctor Gale was smiling.

“You done sweetheart? Ok. Let’s drop off your things to be washed and we can get you to the exam room. That’s enough for today I think.” She was ushered off quickly and before she knew it she was standing in the middle of a standard doctors room table and all, holding a gown. 

Margret Gale on the other hand was rushing back to her office. She pulled back up the copy of the letter that had been recorded dutifly by the clipboard each pen stroke recorded and sent to her computer and smiled at the tale held within. There were a lot of things that could make her job difficult and very few that made it easy. This was fortunately the latter. No friends, no family, and a need within herself that she couldn’t see yet. It was simply fate that she had come in with the only person who would possibly miss her today. The boy wasn’t a good candidate he wouldn’t naturally or easily fall into a role and his family were still living even if she had her doubts about their immigration status. He was also high risk for STD’s and his blood work wasn’t in yet. But if her physical exam even went remotely well she would be worth it for the both of them. Michael pushed into her office. 

“What’s the verdict?” She was a little taken aback he usually didn’t take such an interest in the goings on of her offices. She merely plastered on her most professional smile, he was in charge after all and it was only to her benefit right now if he was doing a spot inspection. Hell the girl was so fucking perfect she might have been planted. 

“We’ve got a 10. No family, only one friend who is actually here with her today. No attachments to the community. If I had to guess she’s dodging foster care but not the police. No way of knowing until we run the prints anyway. She seems close enough to being of age. The boy turned 18 a few months ago as best as I can tell from a single old juvie record and he claims their about the same age. Psychologically she needs the structure. Her parents died in an accident she seems to feel responsible for at least in part. Once the initial training is over she’ll be worth a fortune. She could truly be happy in her role with us.” She waited a moment while he scanned the report and the letter her heart pounding. “I haven’t contacted anyone yet I was just waiting on the medical exam so I could send it all at once. Then we’ll set up a return appointment to wait for the results on her blood tests and it will all be clear when she comes back in to follow up.”

His hand found the back of her head and began stroking her hair. “You’ve been a very good girl. Get the prints rushed off and let me know as soon as they come back. Let James know we will pay to have anything cleared we need to. Don’t send out any notifications. I’ll handle everything.” Her eyes fluttered closed as he stroked her head. It had been years since anyone had called her a good girl. She didn’t realize how much she missed it until that moment. That’s when exactly what he said came crashing into her. 

“Sir… I… I don’t mean to be rude but…” He smiled and cupped her cheek gently.

“But your commission? How about this, when you come up next you can have one of the permanent houses in your name. If you send notice I’ll even make sure someone’s there to take care of you. Give me two weeks and Evangeline will be back. Would you like that?” Margret nodded and swallowed hard. He was promising her the world over this girl. Suddenly she didn’t care about anything else. She wouldn’t have to pay for anything anymore. With her own home there others would strive to come to her. She could be choosy about whom she gave her services too not just those whose time she could afford to rent. 

“Thank you sir. I don’t, I just, I don’t deserve this.” He smiled and kissed the top of her head. 

“Sweetheart you have no idea. You are the greatest success story to ever emerge from the program and what you do for us and for them is amazing in and of itself. I will always take care of you. Now, I don’t mind seeing how patiently she waits if you will get your ass over that footrest.” She scrambled to her feet. Her heart pounding in her ears as she moved to her place on the floor. Designer clothes and fancy offices would never replace the truth she had learned long ago. Her place was here on her knees and it was the only place she ever felt happy. 

Over she went ass in the air as she heard him going through her drawers and cabinets. She could hear the swish of instruments she knew by heart one by one being tested in his hands until she was left with no idea of what he was holding when he came behind her and moved her skirts up and over her ass baring it to his eyes. Warm hands kneaded the round globes before he leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Not one sound. This is a place of healing and hope. If I hear anything out of you I will replace you do you understand? I will find someone else who can do this job and then you will have nothing between being allowed to return home. You may nod.” She nodded and wrapped long manicured fingers around the small legs of the stool she leaned over. 

The pounding in her ears drowned out the sound of the first strike coming. Broad and flat the paddle connected with her ass sending spikes of pain pleasure and heat racing through her. Again and again he reigned blows down upon her so quickly she lost count and was fighting not to cry out. His hands came next cold and soothing upon her heated flesh and slid down to her swollen soaking folds. Deft fingers slid inside as his thumb worked her clit milking an orgasm out within seconds of the first touch. It took every ounce of control not to cry out in her pleasure. Then a slick thin dildo was pressed in once… twice… and then removed leaving her aching and wanting more. She was not to be denied as it was quickly moved to her ass with no more lubrication than her own juices and seated in a single thrust then clicked on as it began to vibrate. Another larger one replaced it in her cunt and that too turned until her whole body shivered under the onslaught. 

“Open up. Even the best girls can’t be expected to stay silent forever. And you’re just a dirty little slut aren’t you.” Only a whimper escaped as he slid the rubber ball into her mouth and fastened the strap behind her head. “The clinic is dead today what with the storm of the century raging outside. You will stay like that until another patient comes in. Should be interesting if the storm lasts through the night like they predict.” Straps circled her legs and chest securing her to the footstool so she couldn’t even fall from the position she had been placed in. Her wrists next each tied to a leg. “Now I know Carol isn’t exactly up to the standard’s your used to but I’m going to let her have you anytime after five am tomorrow if you have to stay the night like this. Would you like that?” Rumpled and wanton already she could only nod. He kissed her forehead again and stroked her cheek. “You are such a good girl. Have fun tonight!” Before he even left the office she was already tensing with another orgasm this time screaming into the gag. 

Don't speak   
I know just what you're saying   
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts   
Don't speak   
I know what you're thinking   
I don't need your reasons   
Don't tell me cause it hurts 

It's all ending   
I gotta stop pretending who we are...   
~No Doubt


	3. Physical Exam

    She had been waiting for about twenty minutes by the clock on the wall when the door finally opened. It was the man from the waiting room his hair combed back and in dry clothes but with a white coat on this time. Dr. Blackstone M.D. it read across his chest and she tried to smile but the waiting had only served to make her more nervous than before. She faintly wondered if her eyes were still red from the unbidden tears earlier. His smile was just as brilliant as it ever was as he pulled two stuffed animals from behind his back a bear and a rabbit. She smiled remembering Jesus mentioning he seemed a bit hurt when he didn’t want one so she reached for the rabbit and was rewarded with a dazzling grin. “Do you want to name him?”

    A giggle bubbled up and she couldn’t help it. “I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine. He shall be my Squishy.” Laughter bubbled up from the Doctor open and free and not the least bit mocking. It made her smile too. 

    “Squishy sounds like a fine name. Now if anything hurts or bothers you I want you to tell Squishy ok?” It was all so silly she couldn’t help but smile. She figured he usually dealt with kids and she just didn’t have it in her to make him change his routine after how nice everyone here had been. He pulled over the rolling chair and sat in front of her placing one hand on her ankle. “So why are we here today? Anything special?”

    “Uh… My best friend had a foot fungus and we share socks so he wanted me to get that checked and I’ve got a bruise on my wrist.” He nodded and began looking at her feet. His fingers slid up her arch and she jerked as it tickled causing him to pause and look up at her expectantly. “It just tickled a little I’m sorry.”

    “It’s ok that just means you’ve got good reflexes.” He turned her foot this way and that looking it over and checking between her toes even wiggling a few and giving her a playful grin. “Good news is your feet look fine. Let me see that wrist.” She held it out to him and his smile faded a bit as he looked it over. “How old is this sweetheart? Does it still hurt?” He pressed into it a bit and she hissed in pain drawing her hand back to her chest inadvertently clutching her stuffed bunny in the process. 

    “Yes it hurts. It’s almost two weeks old. Give or take a few days.” He moved toward the counter and grabbed a chart to began filling it in. 

    “Any allergies or history of drug use?” She shook her head. “Do you get your period baby girl?” She nodded. “Is it regular, you know about the same time each month and how is the flow?” The sudden change to concerned professional interspersed with terms of endearment began to worry her as he rapid fired medical questions at her and making notes. The doctor looking worried was never a good sign. A few more minutes of questions and answers later and he was back beside her again. 

    “I’m going to go get some things. We’re going to draw a little blood for tests and give you a few shots. You said you haven’t seen a real doctor since you were about twelve and your seventeen now right? So we’re going to update all your booster shots too. It’s going to be a lot of scary needles one right after the other so we’re going to use both arms and your bottom if that’s ok with you?” She nodded. After that I wanna check a few more things. The storm is pretty bad so it’s slow and the young man you came with is going to be staying for the day so if you want you can keep hanging out in here when we’re done. But you need to promise you’re not going to run away on me before I get back. I understand it can get scary when all this doctor stuff is going on but I just want to help. Pretty soon you’ll be fine and wont have to worry any more ok?” She nodded and he smiled at her again. “Good I’ll be right back.”

    True to his word he was gone less than five minutes before she had even worked up the courage to run from the clinic. He had a tray with him thankfully covered to keep her from seeing the long line of things he was about to stab her with. The blood draw came first and that went fairly easily then four shots in her right arm and four in her left. By the time he was directing her to lay back and roll over her head felt like it was filled with helium and her neck like a wet noodle. 

    “Mister Squishy I don’t feel so good…” The doctor leaned over and put his ear near the rabbit. 

    “He says its just the medicines. I tend to agree. Try taking slow deep breaths.” She smiled and did as she was bid breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. “Mister Squishy says you never introduced yourself baby girl what’s your name?” 

    “Mmm Lily. Mom said she named me after the flowers Daddy got her when I was born but we both knew she named me after Harry Potter’s mom.” She snuggled into her bunny not even noticing as he helped her roll onto her back again directing her feet up into the stirrups.

    “What’s your favorite food baby girl?” He said both gathering information and trying to keep her distracted for the next portion. There was always a chance she could react badly.

    “Mmm.. Spaghetti… With garlic texas toast and tons of cheese. Mozzarella not parmesan that just makes it too dry. With oatmeal cookies for desert. No raisins though. I don’t know why you would ruin perfectly good cookies with fruit. Mister Squishy… I need you to check on the doctor for me. He’s really really quiet.” And without another word of warning she flung her stuffed bunny down the table at him. 

    He was startled out of his revere at finding her intact. When the bunny collided full with his face causing him to laugh and walk up beside her head once more fingers combing through her hair gently. “I’m sorry baby girl. I was just checking you to make sure you’re all healthy. I’m worried about you. You’re so thin and so sweet. Why don’t you tell Mister Snuggles about your boyfriend.” He pressed the stuffed rabbit back into her hands. 

    “He’s not my boyfriend.” She mumbled into the stuffed rabbit. “He’s a stupid gay boy who only laughed at me when I tried to kiss him once. But I still love him.  He watches out for me and takes care of me. He got me dinner new clothes and everything. AND he didn’t give me his foot fungi. That‘s how you know he loves me. He gave me everything but his fungus.” The doctor smiled and laughed brushing her hair back out of her face. 

    “There’s more to love baby girl. But I’m glad he’s been looking out for you. Someone needed to protect you but I’m here now and it’s all gonna be ok. Why don’t you take a little nap. I’ll be there when you wake up. I promise. That’s the number one rule. Daddy always keeps his promises.” He kissed her forehead gently and kept running his fingers through her hair. 

    Slowly her eyes drifted closed. Try as he might he couldn’t stop the hammering  in his heart. He’d been smitten from the moment he saw her this morning curled up watching cartoons. He’d watched over the cameras as she had showered and the  extent of her malnutrition had broken his heart. Her Psych evaluation only made the need to take her in worse knowing she would thrive with him in their little community. But when she had taken the stuffy and named it the thing growing within him had begun to change from want to love. It was only in the exam when he found her completely innocent and untouched that he knew beyond anything he had ever known before that he could never let her go. The Community had done this a thousand times over taking the unwanted and forgotten of society and teaching them a thousand different ways to belong. His own father had run it for nearly forty five years before and when he had taken over after his death it had always felt empty alone. There had been a few others before her of different sorts but he had always held a perfect dream in his heart. A little to care for and protect. A little who could come to love him as his own mother had come to love his father. She fit every aspect of the picture. Just over five foot tall with long beautiful auburn hair. Her eyes unable to decide between blue and green and ending up a mix between the two. Innocent and untouched and needing a firm but gentle hand to let her be the child that lived still deep in her heart. He knew it would be a long road but it would be infinitely worth it. 

    In the mean time he would see if Carol was up for a roll before the straining in his pants left him completely unable to think like a rational human being. It would be his last chance for a while. Once he got her home he intended to devote everything he could to making her comfortable until she was ready.   
  
I've been searching for you  
I heard a cry within my soul  
I've never had a yearning quite like this before  
Know that you are walking right through my door  
  
All of my life  
Where have you been  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
And if that day comes  
I know we could win  
I wonder if I'll ever see you again  
  
A sacred gift of heaven  
For better worse, wherever  
And I would never let somebody break you down  
Until you cried, never  
~Lenny Kravitz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty internet points to the commenter who can tell me where the "I shall call him Squishy." line comes from and why Doctor Blackstone would have been so tickled by it.


	4. Welcome Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing. In less than twelve hours you surpassed all expectations I had for this story. I got a box of Hello Kitty Gummies out of it! Well here's the deal. Five comments or Fifteen Kudos will get me a trip to the zoo where I have been promised tickets to the Dolphin Show. I love you now its time to show me how much you love me! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! He hates the Dolphin Show with a white hot passion that rivals the center of the sun. This may be my only chance! I've got 48 hours to reach my goal!

    She was having the dream again. The one where she was back in her bed and any minute someone would yell at her for not being up yet. It usually wasn’t this real and she wanted to hold onto it for just a minute longer. She snuggled deeper and pulled the covers closer around her. After a few moments when the dream didn’t fade she cracked an eye open. This was not her room. For starters it was very… pink. Well more white with pink trim on everything. She sat up slowly and there was a crinkle from her waist she looked down over the frilly white night gown and slowly reached her hand under the covers. She was wearing a diaper? And for god sakes why was it wet. “Fuck… me.” 

    She closed her eyes and attempted to breath deeply. “Option one… I have fallen into some alternate dimension previously unknown to man kind. Option two… I got nothing.” It was then that the door swung open and the doctor from that Clinic was standing in the doorway smiling like Christmas and his Birthday from now until forever had all come at once. 

    “Hey baby girl! How is your head feeling?” He crossed the room in a few quick strides and came to sit on the bed beside her one arm reaching across to plant on the far side of her hip and holding her trapped in place as he gently laid the backs of his fingers across her forehead. 

    “Where am I? What are you doing? What the fuck is going on?” Her rapid fire questions were silenced by his hand coming across her mouth holding it there gently. 

    “Sweetheart.” Despite all his gentleness the word came out as a warning. “I know this can all be scary and a little overwhelming at first. But you need to watch your language. We have rules in this house and we are both going to respect them. That‘s rule two. But we can go over that in a minute. First things first. Do you need a change? You‘ve been out for a while.” He was so calm and controlled it scared her. He spoke like nothing was going on like he hadn’t snatched her up and dragged her to this crazy house where nothing made sense. 

    “I need to go home. I need to see my friends.” She didn’t want to cry but she could feel the tears welling behind her eyes and the hitch in her breathing. She almost felt like she had no control over her own emotions as once again tears began falling. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest rubbing strong hands down her back.

    “Shh shh it’s ok baby girl. It’s all gonna be ok now. Daddy’s here. You are home. I’m going to take care of you and if you’re really good we can let you see your little friend. But you’ve got to be a good girl.” His hands cupped both her cheeks and turned her tear stained face up towards him. “I just want to keep you safe and happy. Just be a good girl and let me take care of you. I can make you so happy. Now why don’t we see about your nappy and then get you some dinner. After we can talk about the house rules.” He placed gentle kisses over her eyelids and in a single fluid motion slid an arm beneath her legs and pulled her from the bed walking toward a high table and setting her atop it. It wasn’t until he was flipping up her nightgown her shock settled enough to try to protest as she shoved it back down. 

    “NO! God dammit! Don’t touch me!” The retaliation was swift. He slapped her hard on the thigh just once his gentle smile becoming a thin tight line.

    “Language young lady. I let you have the first one but you need to watch that mouth or I will wash those dirty words right out. Now lay back down. You’re wet and you need a change. Now move those hands or we will put them up out of the way. Do you want Mister Squishy? We forgot him on your bed but I can grab him if you like.” The shift startled her and only served to reinforce her belief he was absolutely crazy. This was just like anywhere else she’d ever run from. She just needed to wait for her opportunity. 

    “You brought my Squishy?” She tried to keep her voice light but it came out almost as a whine. He gave her that brilliant smile again and stepped back to the bed to pick up the stuffed rabbit from where it had fallen to the ground. He pressed it into her hands and kissed her forehead once more. 

    “He is your Squishy. I would never leave him behind. Now let’s change your nappy.” Her hands balled into the stuffed rabbit her knuckles going white as he once more slid her nightgown up. The sound of the diaper coming off sounded like the roar of thunder in her ears and she shoved her face into the furred belly not wanting him to see her cry when the inevitable happened. 

    Her legs were lifted and the dirty diaper removed before a wet wipe was slid gently over her bottom. He was gentle as he cleaned her making her suddenly realize she had been more than simply wet. Embarrassment settled hot and heavy over her and she was gasping for breath by the time a clean wipe was applied to her front. She tensed preparing for the inevitable violation that never came. He carefully moved over each of her folds keeping the wipe between them. The closest he came was to spend several minutes wiping circling her several times brushing almost casually over her clit several times in the process. Her nervous tension making her hyper aware of each movement but when he finally pulled away it had gone no further than the gentle cleansing. She pulled the stuffed rabbit down from her face to see him reaching into the underside of the table for another diaper. 

    “I don’t need that. I promise. I really don’t need a diaper.” Hope soared in her as he paused and seemed to consider it. He leaned down to bring his face to her level the smile never leaving as he ran his fingers through the hair at her temple. 

    “Ok I’ll make you a promise if you can make me one. Wear this for now. If you keep it dry and clean until the morning we will forget them completely. I’ll move out your changing table and everything. But if you can’t then I don’t want to hear any more about it deal?” She bit her lip considering. She’d been potty trained since she was three how hard could it be.

    “How do I know your not a liar. You could just be trying to get me to wear that fff…” She was quickly learning his face was very expressive as his smile began to drop and she quickly thought up a better word. “Stupid thing.” And just like that the smile was back. 

    “Very good sweetheart. And the answer to that is Rule Number One.” His hands darted out and began to tickle up her ribs. Her legs kicked and she squealed in laughter. “Daddies always keep their promises.” He continued to tickle her until she was turned bright red and was gasping for breath before he moved to put the diaper on her again. “Do we have a deal?” She nodded and he slid the diaper on her carefully fitting it around her legs and giving the nightgown a tug back down until it settled over her knees again. 

    “Now you slept right through breakfast but you had a big day. I was just getting ready to make lunch if you’re hungry.” The very mention of food made her stomach rumble and she sat up. If nothing else there would be a steady supply of food until she found her way out of here. 

    “I’m starving. What am I supposed to call you anyway?” He held out his arms to her waiting for her to slide into them. But she pushed off to drop to the floor on her own. Unfortunately her legs were not in the mood to support her and she found herself face first on the white carpet ass in the air and legs twisted under her. 

    “Lily!” He gathered her up and moved her back to the bed laying her down gently hands sliding over her legs searching for any signs of injury. “Baby girl are you ok?” The concern in his eyes was genuine. He reached for her arms carefully examining her already bruised wrist turning it around bringing forth a cry of pain. ‘Oh baby you sprained it. Wait right here and don’t try to get up. You’re gonna have some muscle weakness for a little while. I am so sorry I didn’t warn you I wasn’t thinking. I’m gonna get you some aspirin ok?” His hands were shaking as her repeatedly ran them over her arms and calves as if he was terrified she had hurt something else he had missed. 

    She nodded, “I dropped Mister Squishy.” He moved like lightning was on his heels as he retrieved her bunny handing it back to her before pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. 

    “I’m gonna be right back. I’ve just got to grab a few things for your wrist.” This time when he slipped out the door was left open giving her a glimpse into the hall beyond. From her seat on the bed she could see the hardwood floors and green painted walls beyond. At least the entire place wasn’t pink and white. There was also a single door she could spot that seemed to have some sort of black square next to it in the wall with a small red light. 

    Everything else beyond was lost to the angle of her view. Instead she turned her gaze around the room that so far she had only briefly glanced over. There was a vanity and a toy chest. A closet and a dresser even a ribbon hanging on the wall full of barrettes for her hair. There were a few more stuffed animals and floral patterns on the wall. It had an almost classical beauty to it even if it was very geared toward someone much younger. She wondered how many girls he had kidnapped into this room. How many of them had fallen victim to his gentle demeanor before he killed them and buried them somewhere no one would ever find them. 

    He came back in with an elastic wrap a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water the pills weren’t even offered to her he just slid them past her lips and held the glass to her mouth. “Alright open lemmie see you swallowed them.” She glared but opened her mouth and lifted her tongue anyway earning a chuckle from him. Apparently when you treated someone like a child the pouting that came with it was par for the course. 

    He then took the bandage and gingerly wrapped her wrist. He started to hum gently to himself as he did so the song tickling something in the back of her mind that made her shy away from thinking of it any further. “You never answered my question. What am I supposed to call you?” 

    He finished with the wrap and pulled her bodily into his lap. “I’d like it if you called me Daddy someday.” He only smiled at her snort and hugged her just a bit tighter. “I know it’s not easy and I have no right to expect it just yet. That’s something I’m going to have to earn. But until you’re ready you can call me Dr. B or Dr. Blackstone. Mister is also fine or Sir. Although for my own reasons I’d rather you not use the last one. But it really is however you’re most comfortable. Sir just makes me feel bossy.” 

    “Fine. Doctor Blackstone, I am starving. Now my wrist hurts. I can’t talk to my friends. And I can’t even stand up on my own. Today is the worst day ever. Is there anything else you’d like to do to make it worse? I just want to know now so I can prepare before I start thinking it might be almost over.” She was trying to be as formal as possible to regain even some little bit of control. From the look on his face he didn’t seem to care or even take her seriously.

    He laughed loud and openly. It came from deep in his chest and for just a moment she thought today was going to be almost ok. “I’ve got to take a bit more blood and I’m about to make you eat broccoli. I’m not sure if you noticed sweetheart but you are really sick. Come on, Let’s go get you some lunch.” He scooped her up and rather than the fireman carry he had her in the first time he slid her to his hip letting her legs wrap around his waist and moving her arms around his neck. She tried to take in as much as she could as they moved down the hall  There were a total of five doors all with the little boxes next to them. One was painted white with what appeared to be a clock set to 00:00 on the little box. The same floral pattern from her walls was stenciled under the freshly painted words ‘Lily’s Time Out Room’. The very thought made her shiver. They passed through a large living room with two bean bag chairs a recliner a large plush couch and a foot stool in front of it. It branched off into a dining room that lead into the kitchen through a doorway without any door. There was a chair in the kitchen before a small table with crayons and colored pencils and several sheets of blank paper. He set her into it. 

    “You can color if you want while I make some lunch.” She stared at the paper for a moment. It had been years since she had drawn anything. Not since before her parents died. She just sat there staring at the crayons and pencils. Dr. Blackstone started making what appeared to be chicken nuggets and chips. She vaguely noticed he paused each time he went to open a cabinet or the fridge before there was a small click before it was opened. She began to wonder if everything was locked to keep her out of it. The knives weren’t even on the counter but stored inside a cabinet. More than likely learned from experience she thought as true to his word he pulled an entire head of broccoli from the fridge and began cutting chucks of it off to be eaten raw. “Is ranch ok sweetheart? I’m afraid I’m not sure what you like yet. We can make a list for the next time I go to the store. Unfortunately the options are mustard ketchup mayonnaise and ranch dressing right now.” He turned to her to see her just staring blankly at the page. He came over and crouched down beside her cupping the back of her head and pulling her to look at him. “Hey, you ok? You look like you’re a million miles away. Talk to me baby girl. Is there anything I can do?”

    “I haven’t… I don’t draw anymore. Not since I was a kid.” Her heart felt like it was suddenly made of lead and trying to sink its way through her stomach.

    “Lily,” He took a deep breath and seemed to take a moment choosing his next words carefully. “This is a safe space. Something happened that made all the fun bits of being little go away for you. Here, with me, that’s all I want from you. I want you to be little for me again. I just want to take care of you and love you and let you be my baby. I can give it all back. Everything that got taken I can give it back. I can make you happy again if you let me. You just need to try. Can you try for me?” The tears came unbidden as she collapsed into his chest. Sobbing and he wrapped his arms around her holding and rocking. There was no way it was that simple. It was fucking impossible. She needed to get out of here before the other shoe dropped. She knew these things as surely as she knew her own name. So why was it so hard to stop crying into him. She sobbed until she could no longer breathe through her nose and no more tears would come. She could hear the timer going off on the oven and wondered how long she had been a messy wreck on him. He simply let her pull back on her own and kissed her forehead again. “It’s ok baby. Let me get your lunch out and grab you a tissue then we can have lunch and maybe watch a movie. We can talk more later when you feel better.” 

    She nodded and true to his word he pulled the only slightly singed food from the oven. Then he pulled several tissues wiping her nose for her. Going so far as to hold the tissue while he told her to blow. He moved her to the dining room getting her settled with her food and encouraging her to eat just a little more each time she slowed. Two more bites of broccoli and she could pick the movie. One more nugget and she could have cookies after dinner. Oatmeal with no raisins he told her with a smile. He had made them this morning while she slept. She never spoke up to respond only chewed and tried to swallow around the lump in her throat before he carried her into the living room. There were shelves upon shelves of movies. None of which were for anyone older than 12. Finally she settled on ‘A Troll in Central Park’ at the very least it looked interesting and she had never seen it. He slid it into the player and shifted her so she was face to face with him. Leaning down gently he pressed his forehead to hers. “I know it’s been a rough day, where do you wanna sit? I got bean bag chairs just for you or we can sit on the couch together or you can sit in my lap in the big chair. It’s your choice. You’ve been really good.”

    Lily started chewing on her lip bean bag chairs were out of the question until she had the ability to get out of it on her own. Sitting in his lap was absolutely out of the question. “The couch pl…” Her please was cut off mid word as she suddenly became aware of the warmth spreading in her crotch. She’d just peed herself. Right there against him. There was no hope of hiding it. There wasn’t even a chance he missed it pressed to him as she was. There had been no warning. No pressure no idea that she even needed to pee before it was over. Her face turned bright read and she ducked her head to the side burying it into the juncture between his neck and shoulder. One hand slid up from where he was holding her up to rub her back gently. 

    “Lily, sweetheart, I know we haven’t talked about the rules yet. But if you need something you need to ask. Do you need your nappy changed? We can get that done then go right back to the movie. This way we don’t need to interrupt the movie and you don’t have to sit around all uncomfortable and wet.” She nodded into him without words and let him carry her back to the room she had woken in. 

    He settled her back onto the changing table and handed her Mister Squishy once more. The old removed and the wipe came out again as he cleaned her with the same gentle if over attentive motions from before. This time as vulnerable as she was the gentle ministrations caused her breath to come in shuddering gasps causing him to linger just a bit longer until a tight coil of need built inside of her leaving her squirming under his fingers. She had never bothered to touch herself before. Attraction had never before reached a level of want and when his hands moved away to gather up the new diaper she was left whimpering into Mister Squishy. 

    “Lily, are you ok?” Gentle fingers stroked the hair back from her temple as she nodded furiously. “Did you need something? You have to ask baby girl. Is there something I can do for you?” She shook her head before smashing her face violently into Mister Squishy trying to hide what she felt must surely be painted across her very features. She wasn’t even sure she knew what she wanted and if she did she sure as hell was not asking him for it. The plushy over her face had the extra effect of keeping her from seeing the smile on his face become a little less jovial and just a bit more hungry.

    “Ok baby, I’m always here if you need anything. The clean diaper was slid on and he scooped her up in a fireman’s carry once more. Her legs pressed tightly together trying once more to find the delicious pressure he had awakened only moments before to no avail. The two settled onto the couch her sitting beside him as he started the movie.

    She couldn’t tell you how long it had been when the musical notes of his cell phone’s ring woke her halfway up. Somehow she’d slid down to be laid out on the couch her head using his thigh as a pillow. He tried to keep his voice down as he answered the call and she tried to pretend she was still asleep hoping something anything would give her an opportunity or a chance to get out and away.

    “This had better be the world’s biggest emergency. I’m on the do not contact list right now.” There was a pause while he listened to the man on the other side. “What are you talking about? Where the hell did Cartwright go?” Another pause and she could feel him tense beneath her head. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” He hissed into the phone. “Any idea how bad it is? Can he be moved? Is he even talking? No… bring him directly to my clinic. I’ll be right there.” He moved from beneath her by inches replacing his leg with a pillow under her head. He fixed her hair back out of her face and pressed his lips to both eyelids before whispering. “I am so sorry. I’ll be back up as soon as I can.” He slipped back toward the hall and there was a beep then a door opening and closing heavily behind him. She quickly pushed up to stare over the back of the couch down the hall hoping she could see which door he went out but there was no indication. If he hadn’t been moving so fast she might have been able to judge by how long it took him With nothing better to do she simply pulled Mister Squishy closer and glared at the TV trying to pick up the thread of the movie again.   
  
Though you’re out of tune  
Girl you blow my mind, you do  
And all I’ll say is I don’t wanna say good night  
  
There’s no quiet corner  
To get to know each other  
Then there’s no hurry  
I’m a patient man as you'll discover  
~James Blunt

 


	5. The House Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things to remember. Lily is suffering from SEVERE Malnutrition and so things are not clearing from her body as quickly as they should. Also this is why she's not healing properly and that wrist is becoming a problem. Years of fear and distrust are hard to overcome. Also our Dearest Doctor Daddy wasn't exactly prepared for his little girl. Somethings have to be gotten for someone specific others can just exist waiting for the right one. Doctor Daddy also might possibly have bypassed protocol by bringing her directly to his home but... He's got privileges. (not to give too much away) Also HELLO TO ANY VISITORS FROM DDLGFORUM.COM Y'all are the bestest ever!

    About thirty minutes into trying to find out what was going on in the movie, and another fifteen trying to find the remote, she resigned herself to crawling over to the player and restarting the movie completely. She only made it halfway back before the muscles in her arms and legs were screaming at her to stop. The floor was both warmer and softer than most other places she’d ended up sleeping so it came as no surprise when she woke to being gently lifted from the ground by the Doctor. “I missed my movie.” She slurred through the fog over her mind.

    His chuckle wasn’t light and easy as it had been before and his features were tight. Without thinking she reached up and ran her fingers gently over the lines in his face that hadn’t been there before. Some of the stress seemed to bleed away as he turned his face into her hand. “Hey baby. I’m sorry. There was an emergency. I’m the only doctor in the area for a little bit. What were you doing on the floor anyway?”

    It wasn’t the first time he’d redirected conversations. He tended to make passing mentions of things then ask a direct question. Two could play that game. “What was the emergency? Is everyone ok now?”

    She could feel his whole body wince as he moved into the recliner with her. He pulled her tightly against his chest letting his fingers comb through her hair, tucking her head into his chest. “Somebody died. But someone else got hurt in the process. If they make it through the first couple of days they’ll be just fine. I’ve got someone sitting with them so they can call me if they need me. I’m so sorry. I wanted to take the time to get you settled in before I had to reopen the clinic.”

    “Mmm s’ok. When will my legs work right again? It feels like I ran miles and miles.” She was filing things away. One little bit at a time. He mentioned the clinic so they couldn’t be too far. Not if he could go  back like that. Next was figuring out the dammed doors. Those were going to be the hardest. She had yet to see what he was using as keys.

    “It’s just side effects of too many medicines at once. That and the sedatives are working their way out really slowly. If you don’t feel better by tomorrow I’ll give you something to help speed it up. Now how did you end up on the floor?” She pulled a face apparently her distracting didn’t work nearly as well on him as it did on her.

    “I fell asleep and missed my movie. Then I couldn’t find any remote and I made it to the TV but I never made it back. It’s a very comfy floor.” She felt more than heard the laughter that rumbled through his chest but never made it past his lips.

    “I’m sorry baby girl. It’s all synced into my phone. I’ll make sure next time I dig out the proper remotes for you. How you feeling otherwise? You seem to be sleeping a lot. I need to see if I can get your blood work back a bit faster.” His hand drifted to her forehead and held it there a moment as if he could discover what was wrong with her by sheer will since he was unwilling to move from the comfort of his favorite chair.

    “It’s been a long day. My wrist still hurts, worse than before. And… things… with the crying.”  He took her wrist in his hands and began to gently unwrap it. As the bandage fell away even without a medical degree she could tell it didn’t look right. The purple was deep and fresh and the swelling had only gotten worse.

    When he spoke his voice was so carefully emotionless it made her freeze. “Lily, on a scale of one to ten. With ten being the worst pain you’ve ever felt. How bad does that hurt?” His hands pressed carefully along the bones seeming to look for any breaks or deeper issues in the bones. But all she knew was it was shooting pain up her arm and into her chest like she was being stabbed.

    “It’s not fucking broken. I know what broken feels like. Maybe an eight.” Desperately she tried to pull out of his lap or at the very least get her wrist back. “You’re hurting me Doctor Blackstone and I swear I will break your nose if you don’t let go.”

    The slap to her thigh made her jump. “Language. And how are you sitting here in that much pain and not saying anything? We’ve got to get some ice on it. And I’ll see about something to make it hurt less. Come on.” He lifted her with him as he stood and moved down the hall. This time she got to see how he got in the door. He passed his wrist with the watch he was wearing over the sensor before the watch beeped and admitted him.  He set her tenderly onto the toilet and began rummaging around in the under sink cabinet. It was the watch that made the beep apparently and not the locks. He came out a moment later with a jar and an instant ice pack. He reached for her arm and she yanked it back glaring at him. “Are you sure you’re a real Doctor? Like a really real Doctor and not just doctor of basket weaving or something. You seem pretty young to be a doctor.”

    “Lily, I will show you my diploma some time. I graduated Salutatorian and did my rotation at St. George’s now you have two options. Give me your wrist and let me see to it or I’m coming over there and making you let me see it.” She heaved a great long suffering sigh before pushing up from her seat and making a half hearted dash trying to get past him. His arm shot out and wrapped around her waist pulling her back.

    “HELP! THERE’S A CRAZY DOCTOR TRYING TO AMPUTATE MY HAND!” She couldn’t help but dissolve into laughter as he pulled her into his lap on the floor of the bathroom. After all laughing was better than crying and physical pain came and went. It was the wounds on her heart that refused to heal and close that hurt the worst.

    His legs wrapped around her waist trapping her there as he reached for her injured arm and she tried to stretch and hold it beyond his reach. Her only advantage against his superior reach was the fact he was unwilling to actually grab it and hurt her. “You are going to be the death of me young lady.” Apparently he wasn’t above fighting dirty because the next thing she knew he was tickling her ribs causing her arms to automatically draw in in an attempt to protect her ribs. That’s when he struck grabbing her just above the elbow and scooped a large glop of whatever was in the jar and began gently rubbing it in. “See not so bad. I promise at this time I have no intention of amputating your hand but maybe tomorrow we should get some X-Rays to make sure there’s no crack or anything. I definitely want to brace this up. And you need to be more careful with it. You’re not on your own any more. Please if not for you then for me take care of yourself.”  He kissed her temple and popped the ice pack wrapping it around her wrist before securing it with the elastic wrap again.

    “All right young lady it’s about time we talked about the rules.” She was quickly learning the more she complied and acted like a child the more he seemed to relax around her. To this end she went dead weight flopping over his leg.

    “I can’t, I don’t feel good.. I’m all dizzy and I think I’m going to throw up. Oh and my skin is itchy and I’m lightheaded. I think I broke my leg when you wrestled me to the ground.” She twisted to grin up at him.

    “Well if you can repeat all that. I might believe you. Otherwise we’re going to go over all the rules.”

    “Uh… I broke my leg?” She grinned and he pushed up disentangling himself from her before pulling her up onto his hip once more.

    “Come on silly girl. This is important.” He pulled her up and carried her back to the dining room settling her into a chair and taking one across from her. She couldn’t help the sudden impending feeling she had somehow gotten in trouble as he folded his hands in front of him and looked her directly in the eyes. He was usually so kind and jovial that this new serious side of him defied everything she had come to learn. And for the first time she took a moment to look at him. He was beautiful for a man. Squared off professional frames around dark eyes. His dark hair was combed back by his fingers but if he had let it fall free she wondered how long it would be. He had a strong square jaw and was strong enough he had never seemed to have any trouble lifting and carrying her around. He was tan and perfect. He shouldn’t need to kidnap girls from the local clinic. The fact that he didn’t need to only scared her more. She could understand when men couldn’t get a woman to come willingly when such a thing was their last option for companionship. This was an open choice and that terrified her.

    “Rule one.” He began the serious expression never leaving his face. “Daddy will always keep his promises. If I can’t be sure or if I don’t mean it I will never promise. If something happens that we can’t control together we will work out how to make it right. A promise is special. I’d like it if you didn’t promise me anything you don’t think you can follow through on but that’s a rule for me. Rule Two you have already run into several times. You are a young lady and I expect you to act like it. No swearing, no screaming, no running inside the house and best behavior in public.” He paused there watching her turn it over in her head. He said public. He didn’t expect to keep her locked in this house with no windows or obvious doors out forever. How long until then? Could she wait that long? She couldn’t change her plans based on some far off possible day. She had to go as soon as the opportunity presented itself. She startled when his hand reached out and brushed her knuckles gently.

    "Still with me baby girl?” She nodded and he gave her a small smile before continuing now that he was sure he had her attention again. “Rule Three is about asking for things. You need to ask if you want something. If you want a snack or you need your nappy changed you have to ask. I can’t know what’s going on or what you need unless you ask for it. I give great back and foot rubs just to put that out there. I can’t always say yes but we can discuss most things. Rule Four is actually the most important. Respect. You need to respect me and yourself. You need to respect your things and the rules of this house. You’re special and not showing the proper respect does nothing but tarnish that.”

    “Do you have any questions so far?” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and began to chew on it. This wasn’t what she had expected. She thought they would be strange or crazy demands on her behavior a list of punishments she would endure.

    “What happens if I don’t… you know… get it right? What then?” He smiled gently out one side of his mouth.

    “Time outs… or a spanking. It can change based on what happened. Was it a mistake or did you do it on purpose. I don’t want to punish you but as they say the punishment will fit the crime. You accidentally dropping the F-Bomb gets you one swat but if you decide to go off and call me names and swear a blue streak it can get you a full spanking and a time out. If you lie to me rather than just ask for something you need we’ll have to look at the reasons why you lied. It’s not like I plan for you to mess up. That’s why the rules are simple clear and easy.”

    “Yeah well what if you break a promise? You said that was rule one.” She wanted to pull her hands away from the gentle stroke of his fingers over her knuckles. House rules were making her feel trapped and suffocated making it sound like he intended this to be long term and not just for a few months until he got tired of her.

    He chuckled, “As I said sweetheart if I can’t keep a promise we’ll discuss together how to make it right. I can make you a few promises right now. I promise we only have one more rule to go and then there are no more making up of rules. I may ask you to do something that I expect you to listen to but never a permanent forever all the time rule. I promise I will do my best to listen to you. I promise I will take care of you always. I will never abandon you. I need you to believe that if you don’t believe anything else. I will never, never,  abandon you.”

    “That’s a double negative.” She was rather proud of the sudden slack in his jaw and the look of confusion on his face.

    “What are you talking about?”

    “You said never, never abandon me. That’s a double negative which means you said you will always abandon me. You engrish is bad.” She finished with a grin in her worst Chinese accent. It earned her a laugh at the very least.

    “Ok. You’re right. I promise above everything else that I will always take care of you. I promise you are my first priority. Above all else I promise I will put your wellbeing first. Better? Good. Now last rule. Rule Five, no touching anything covered by your diaper. You have some serious nutrition issues and I need to keep track of what’s going in and coming out. Now it’s a little late for dinner I like to eat around six to give us plenty of time before bed to get everything done so tonight your bed time might be a little late but I want you in bed by nine every night. Bed time is not negotiable. Nine. Now what do you want to do while I get dinner ready?” There he went again casually throwing out something he didn’t seem to want her to discuss before changing the subject. He basically just told her she wasn’t allowed to touch herself. It wasn’t a matter of wanting to. She’d never even tried it before but something about being told she couldn’t bothered her.

    “I want to put on real clothes. I’m still in this stupid nightgown. And I want to talk to Jesus. And I want… to go… home.” She glared at him now. She wanted to scream or kick something but wasn’t quite ready to test the limits of the rules. The house felt too small and he seemed to loom over her with his rules and his stupid treating her like a kid and his stupid smiles and stupid face.

    “Lily,” He heaved a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead with one hand. “You are home. I can’t get in touch with Jesus right now we can look into it later after everything gets settled. Tomorrow we’ll get some measurements for your size and I can get you some clothes. Everything’s been very busy and all I have for you to wear is a few nightgowns. I can have something brought by before lunch tomorrow. We can even talk about what you want to wear but I don’t feel like you’re respecting me right now.”

    Her breath started coming in heaving pants. It was too much. It was too much far too fast and she couldn’t do it any more. She stood up so fast the chair fell over behind her and despite the screaming of the muscles in her legs adrenaline held her up. “I DON’T RESPECT YOU! I DON’T EVEN FUCKING LIKE YOU! THIS ISN’T MY HOME! I WANT TO GO BACK! I HATE YOU!  AND I HATE THIS STUPID THING!” She had gotten the nightgown halfway off before the whole thing tangled around her head trapping her arms inside before he grabbed her tightly. Pressing her back to his front he got a grip on the night gown that stopped her from being able to move them at all so instead she kicked out bare feet hitting his shins several times as he hefted her up ignoring the strikes she managed to land.

    He moved as he spoke and the lack of anything but calm in his voice only served to infuriate her more. “Lily this isn’t any sort of proper way to handle things. I understand that it’s hard but that’s no excuse to behave like this. You are breaking almost every rule I gave you. Now you go into time out until dinner is ready. It should be about an hour so I’m setting the timer for an hour. She could hear the beep of the door open before she was pressed into a wall. Much to her surprise it was soft and gave just a little under her. He used his lower half to pin her legs against the wall and started to tug and straighten out her night gown until it was gathered around her waist. He used both hands to hold her own and just sat there a minute with her pressed between his body and the wall. The room wasn’t big maybe five foot by five foot and blue. The entire thing was covered in what appeared to be a seamless soft coating like that she was pushed into.

    His head dipped low to put his mouth right next to her ear and she could feel the strain in his voice as he spoke. “I’m asking you to apologize for everything you just said, and for hitting me.” His breath was heavy and she was glad she hurt him glad that one of her kicks had landed somewhere that hurt. She hoped he would bruise to have something to remember.

    “Go to hell you psycho mother fucker.” Without a word he stepped back and slammed the door casting it into complete blackness. She couldn’t hear anything from outside of it and no light was forthcoming. The dark was so absolute she couldn’t tell if her eyes were open or closed. She’d never been afraid of the dark but she screamed anyway, loud and long and began to shake when the room simply swallowed the noise leaving no echo of it behind.

    Just outside the door he stood forehead pressed to the painted metal. He knew it was going to happen sooner or later. He had expected her to act out. Just not today. It had been so nice and so perfect. Now he was left shaking fighting back the urge to scream in frustration himself. He would give anything to go back to this afternoon when she fell asleep in his lap. Or even a few hours later when he had come up from the clinic and she had asked about his patient curled gently in his lap laughing playfully as she let him take care of her.

    He spun and slammed his hand into the opposite wall leaving it dented and jamming his finger. He grunted in pain but it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart at having to put her into time out. He set the door timer for half an hour knowing with the sensory deprivation she’d lose track of time quickly. He was upset and hurt it would have been the worst idea in the world to spank her at this time. He stalked down to the office and flung the door open. He pulled up the monitor to make sure she was ok and poured himself a scotch. He quickly reviewed the previous minutes noting her pounding on the walls and screaming before she curled into a ball on the floor where she now lay. No one could possibly know the meaning of the words, ‘This is going to hurt me a lot more than it’s going to hurt you.’ until they were a daddy. He sipped the drink carefully and stared at the screen his heart breaking. He still needed to get them something for dinner but that could wait a moment longer. He wasn’t ready to leave her completely alone even if she didn’t know he was there watching and worried. In the end he called the local diner and had meatloaf and potatoes sent over with a side of creamed spinach. He hated the stuff but it was high in iron, something she needed desperately right now.

    Dinner arrived and he buzzed the delivery girl up without ever leaving his chair. She appeared in the doorway to his office as he had left it hanging open.

    “Sir? I have your order.” She shifted obviously nervous. People like her never made it to the upper level of his house and normally he would have said or done something to reassure her but he couldn’t take his eyes off the monitor.

    “Plate it and leave it on the dining room table. Two places if you please next to each other. You have seven minutes to be out of the house.” She scurried off more pleased to be given a direct instruction than to wonder what she was doing there. He could hear the door leading to the downstairs shut with fifteen seconds to spare. He watched the timer count down to zero and the door to the timeout room released on its own swinging open just an inch. She was awake he knew when her arm moved to cover her eyes from the sudden light from the hall. He didn’t move just kept watching through the camera as he poured another drink.  
  
  
  
People do not exist to follow rules. Rules exist to protect the people.  
~Akira Akatsuki  
  
Follow the rules until you make them.  
~Luke Green  
  
Rules exist for a reason. Rules exist because when people don’t follow them, people get hurt.  
~Ally Carter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T KILL ME! Ok I know this is a bit Cliff hangerish but my writing style is to hit four pages and then stop at the next easy wrap point. It keeps me from writing insanely long chapters or posting fragments. It just so happened that this was a nice point to create a tension that the moment truly deserves. 
> 
> Ok... I'm trying to give a little insight to both sides here any Daddies want to admit it's hard to discipline a LG that CLEARLY needed it because you understand. Littles need solid boundaries and bending on them only makes them spoiled and bratty. We can be you're princess but we can also be the dragon too!
> 
> SIDE NOTE
> 
> Do do do doot doot doot doot Doin' the No Pants dance Do do do doot doot doot doot Doin' the No Pants dance  
> SightSoBlind you hit Daddy's goal of 15 Kudos a full 28 hours before your 48 hour deadline! What are you going to do next?  
> *Screams* I'm goin to Disney World!  
> *daddy butts in* Oh yes that's a better idea let's do that instead.  
> NO! We're going to the zoo to see the Dolphin Show! Oh look you're not working tomorrow! 
> 
> YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME I'M GOING TO THE DOLPHIN SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok so Tomorrow is going to be a Zoo day but I will try to write some tonight so I can get it posted tomorrow and keep up with this lovely post everyday thing I've got going right now so as not to lose my momentum. I have an outline that will keep me going for a bit but things keep popping in (like the tantrum she tossed here) extending how long it will take me to finish it!


	6. Fallout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily is not taking the time out room well so lets take a step to the other side. Hello Daddy!

    It’s like a battle of wills. She pushes up to sitting and reaches out with her leg kicking the door letting it swing open fully glaring daggers into the hall. He nurses his third scotch staring at the monitor waiting for any sign she’s sorry straining to listen to hear if she calls for him. Dinner gets cold as the minutes tick past. 

    He is the first to cave as he finally finishes his drink and stalks down the hall to stand in the doorway arms crossed. “Did you have something you wanted to say to me?”

    She stared with empty eyes at a place on the floor beyond his ankles and when she spoke her voice was hollow and empty. “I’m not feeling very hungry. May I please go to bed now?” 

    She reacted badly to the time out room that was clear. In the future he might have to find a middle ground between spanking her angry and leaving her in here. “No. Come on you need dinner and a bath first.” He reached down and picked her up her hands sliding easily around his neck before he carried her to the table and set her down. She began to eat without prompting before he even had a seat. He watched for a minute before reaching out to stroke the back of her head gently. She flinched the moment his hand made contact and he pulled back. There was no faster way to push her away than to push her too far too fast and she already had a very long stressful day. He pulled his hand back and went to eating his own dinner in silence. 

    “Lily, you know why your outburst was unacceptable. I don’t think you need to discuss it again but I would like it if you would apologize. You said some very mean things.” He waited a minute watching her out of the corner of his eye. She didn’t even pause in what was without a doubt best described as shoveling food into her mouth. He wasn’t even sure she was looking at it for more than the space it took  to get it onto the fork. He had to wonder how long she had gone hungry for. He had seen her in the clinic shower yesterday and again when he changed her out of the hospital gown and she was painfully thin. When he rubbed her back he could feel the bones of her ribs and bumps of her spine. He tried to remind himself that so long as she was eating maybe he shouldn’t interrupt her. 

    It was less than five minutes before her entire plate was clean and his only half finished due to the lump in his stomach that felt like a ten ton stone. He picked up both plates and moved toward the kitchen when she spoke so softly he almost missed it and it nearly made him drop the plates. “I lost Mister Squishy.” He set the plates on the counter. How could he have been so stupid. She’d been incredibly attached to the rabbit all day. Where was it the last time she had it? First things first. He made her a promise at lunch today. He pulled down a plate and dropped two cookies onto it, then added a third simply because she needed the calories. He poured her a glass of milk and attached the sippy top. It didn’t do anyone any good to start creating false expectations since this was the first thing he was giving her that wasn’t a bottle of water. Placing them both in front of her he leaned on the back of her chair. “I’m gonna find him while you have your cookies. I promised you at lunch. No matter how many rules you break you can’t make me break my promises.”

    She didn’t respond simply laid the cookies out so they weren’t touching each other and then began breaking pieces off and slipping them in her mouth. The search began under the table and then moved to the recliner. He checked under the TV and behind the couch. It was starting to get a little worrisome when he saw a small fuzzy brown leg sticking out from between the cushions of the couch. Pulling that stuffed bunny out he almost wanted to cuss it for being so hard to find. But when he turned back to her and got the first real reaction she had shown since she came out of her time out it felt like winning the lottery. She snatched it to her chest so fast she sent her cup of milk rolling across the table and he was thankful for the sippy top. But she’d eaten her cookies and the dishes could wait until she’d gone to bed. He scooped up her milk cup and set it into the fridge before stopping in the doorway eavesdropping on her and her Squishy as she talked to it. 

    “And it was fucking dark. I’d rather get tossed in the river. I will never never never forgive him. And that’s a triple negative so its still negative.” He took a step back into the kitchen a small smile teasing at the edge of his lips. She was afraid of the dark of all things. This revelation was quickly followed by, Shit, I don’t have a nightlight. He’d let her pick one out tomorrow he could have almost anything delivered within a few hours but it was nearly bed time. He’d just have to leave the light on tonight. He waited until she had finished complaining to Mister Squishy.  

    Carefully he reached out and stroked the back of her hair. He considered it a win when she didn’t flinch or pull away. “Sweetheart you ready for your bath?” She only nodded mutely into her bunny. “Do you want to try and walk or do you want me to carry you?” When Lily reached for him he let out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding and lifted her into his arms carefully. 

    Once in the bathroom he left her sitting on the toilet and filled the tub. After a moment of consideration he poured the bottle of depilatory cream in. She was pliable enough right now it would be best to get her cleaned completely when she was too drained for it to cause another breakdown. He added bubbles and started twisting her hair up onto her head using a simple barrette to hold it in place before putting a shower cap over it. With careful hands he removed her dirty nightgown and diaper and held her arm as she stepped into the warm water. It was easy to forget the bones that stuck out. It spoke of years on the streets but the roundness still in her face made him wonder what she looked like before her world fell apart. So often when she let herself be such a perfect precious little girl it was easy to forget the broken doll just under the surface. He used gentle motions to wipe her down as years of ungroomed body hair washed off into the water. Fresh starts that’s what all this was about. He silently encouraged her to stand as he drained the tub and used the shower head to rinse her clean. He fished out the fluffiest towel he could find and carefully dried her before wrapping her in it and handing her Mister Squishy. Back in the room he put her into fresh nightgown and a clean diaper. Then he tucked her into bed, letting her hair down carefully. 

    “Sweetheart we’ve got time for a story before sleep if you want.” She nodded and dragged Mister Squishy closer to his chest. In that moment he knew exactly what she needed. He was gone for less than two minutes into his office where there books he had collected one by one over the last Twenty Eight years of his life. But it was into his desk he went where he found an old worn copy of a book he had read to him over and over when he was a child. His father used to read it when he was sick and many years later his mother would read it to him over the phone while he was away at school and missing home. 

    She was half leaned out of the bed staring at the open door to his office when he stepped back out shutting the door behind him. She settled back when he came over and he sat gingerly on the edge of the bed as he opened the book and began to read. “There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be,” He read in a calm steady tone even as she pressed into the side of his thigh. He was sure she had fallen asleep somewhere in the middle but when he tried to stop reading a sleepy protest came from near his hip where he face had buried into him. 

    “No… He’s not real yet don’t leave him so close to being real.” So dutifully he reopened the book and continued reading. Her breaths became slow and even and she pressed ever tighter into him. 

    “But he never knew that it really was his own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be Real.” The final line finished he closed the book and went to get up only to find her fists closing tightly about his pant leg. 

    “I miss you…” and with that her whole body went slack falling fully into sleep. He pressed a kiss to her temple and made sure Mister Squishy was securely under the blanket before slipping out. There were dishes to do and a patient to check on. A thousand little normal things to top off the craziest day that had been both the best and worst he could remember in a long time. But for all the good and bad her being at the center of it all made it worth it.

    He grabbed his dinner plate and made his way downstairs to the clinic on the bottom floor of the house eating as he went. He checked on the mans vital signs that had only gotten stronger and steadier and changed the IV bag. He turned to the young man who had found him. “Any change? Has he spoken?”

    “No sir. We’re still not sure how long he was in there. Called Margret sir and she said it might be shock. Tell the truth we’re all reeling a bit. Aint never seen nothing’ like it before. There was just blood and brains and bone all over the wall and the floor was all sticky with god knows what. Entire back of the head gone and everythin’.” It was bad enough hearing about it again but this young man was talking about an old dear friend of his. 

    “Hey kid? Shut the fuck up. I know what it looks like when someone sticks a shotgun in their mouth. He was a good man and a good doctor and if you keep talking like that the next time you need my help I might just be fresh out of pain killers.” In reality the man probably had a good decade on him but everything was accepted with a nod and a return to his magazine. In truth the only thing he cared about was the why. What would have possessed his friend to do such a thing. More importantly why had he forced the young man in front of him to watch unable to move from his position for god knows how long. 

    “I’m just upstairs if you need me. I have a feeling I wont be sleeping anytime soon.” He climbed back up the stairs and collapsed onto the couch knowing he had dishes to do but it just felt like one thing too many. He checked the time. It was almost six in Paris so he began to dial.

    “Hey Mama, I miss you too. It has been one fucking hell of a day. In the beginning did you ever declare that you hated dad and would never forgive him? You can’t be serious! Why did no one ever tell me that! Ok so point knowing you tried to kill him may have interrupted my idea you were happy. But you were happy right? Lily, Yes Mama like Harry Potters mom. She’s just so fucking broken. I put her in the lock down room for a time out and she went almost catatonic on me. No she talked to her stuffie though. Maybe in a bit she needs more time than most I think. It’s different when they come in broken all jagged pieces and a minefield of issues. Thank you Mama. I love you too.”

    He hadn’t seen her since his fathers funeral but somewhere in all the chaos he knew he could still call her when he needed to get some insight into the other side of this life. 

    But there were still dishes to be done and he needed a shower of his own.  Maybe he could just sit here on the couch for just one minute. Just long enough to get the energy to get everything done. 

 

  
  
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same  
'Cause it was happy and I was sad  
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause  
Dreams last for so long  
Even after you're gone  
I know you love me  
And soon you will see  
You were meant for me  
And I was meant for you.  
~Jewel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAD DADDY! That was shitty aftercare but everything is a bit crazy right now so we're going to forgive him.
> 
> Interesting note the original draft had him telling his mother a bit about her weight issues and then having to inform her Cock is not a food group.
> 
> Oh and the hits the fucking hit counts and the Kudos! and OMG! Ok so if anyone has looked at my author page I began writing in Dragon Age Fanfiction and I thought that was doing well but over two months its been out and you guys are overtaking it in Kudos and Subscribers and hits etc... the only thing is... I have had a total of 0 Comments. So I've introduced a small number of side players. First comment gets to name who gets their own short fic. The therapist? The best friend? The mother? The suicidal doctor friend? Or even if you guys are very good? Young Dr. B? Literally anyone from Carol to the unnamed girl who delivered dinner. ANYBODY! Now... I would like a comment before I go to the zoo tomorrow please? https://youtu.be/-2U0Ivkn2Ds


	7. A new day dawns.

     She is greeted by silence when she wakes. The lights are still on in her room and Mister Squishy is tucked in close. There are no windows to give her any idea what time it is and for all the things this room had a clock was not on the list. Her feet slowly to the floor and holding to the nightstand she carefully tried to stand. Sore but no pain. She could walk on her own and she let a breath out. She had the urge to pee but the diaper was thankfully dry. She was finally alone and able to actually explore she began to open drawers and poke into the closet. There were socks most with ribbons or bows. Two drawers filled with stuffed animals and another with coloring books crayons and pencils. There was even an empty “Daddy and Me!” photo album. In the bottom of the closet she finds a pair of fluffy bunny slippers and shoves her feet in. She stares at the door for a good ten minutes wondering if he’s already up and waiting for her or if he expects her to sit and wait for him.   
  
    Indecision wars with the fear of the unknown looming over her and she lifts her chin high. She can’t know until she goes out there and he never told her she shouldn’t. At the very least there’s a TV and she’s bored just standing around. Without even thinking she snatches Mister Squishy up by the ear and strides to the door. Her hand hovers over the knob for just a moment frozen with the fear that like every other door and cabinet in this house it was locked. When she finally snatches it open it comes so easily she nearly smacks herself in the face. Shaking off the embarrassment she creeps down the hall. The entire house is eerily silent. The bathroom is locked and she rolls her eyes. That man and his stupid diapers. What a way to try and force her to keep using them. When she reaches the living room she freezes feeling the familiar closing of her throat. He’s sitting on the couch completely still. She creeps around the end slowly terrified he’ll be upset she’s out of bed but he’s still asleep.   
  
    His arm is flung over the back of the couch and the watch that opens all the doors is there on his wrist. She can’t take her eyes off of it. The doctor is dead to the world and old lessons in picking pockets swarm to the forefront of her mind. _Gently push the strap forward until it pops from under the band and then the clasp. Small nudge to dislodge the pin from the hole. Wait for a natural shift in movement to let it fall. Claim your prize without ever touching the mark._ She holds her ill gotten gains so tightly in both hands she can feel the sharp edges cutting into her palms. If this doesn’t work she can just drop it back on the couch and pretend it never happened.   
  
    There were two good possibilities of which door led outside. She was shaking as she approached the first and held up the watch. There was a small beep and the light went from red to green. She tugged the door open to find a set of stairs that led down… Her heart broke a little at the sight but she was too close to turn back. She hesitated in the door just a moment her eyes going back to the first person who had really tried since her parents died. Weird as he was he had tried to help. She dashed back into the kitchen and pulled out a single piece of paper and a crayon.   
  
    “Thank you for everything,” she stared at it for a moment looking at her handwriting and how bad it had gotten from disuse. She could feel the old familiar panic well up inside of her again and knew she needed to get out. The walls were closing and she couldn’t breathe. On her way back out she saw it there on the floor before the couch. The stupid stuffed rabbit. Her stuffed rabbit. Without thinking about it she snatched it up and dashed to the door easing it shut behind her.   
  
    The bottom of the stairs had two locked doors. Moment of truth. If you always go right you never go wrong. It was a little rhyme used to keep yourself from getting lost in the twisting back alleys of the city.   
  
     So right she went.  
  
    There were machines and cabinets. Rows of beds only one occupied by a man with an IV in his arm and another sleeping in a chair beside him. The man in the bed gave her a smile and waved both hands at her weakly. He must be the patient… the one who might not make it. Without warning there was a pounding in her head and she began searching for a way out. There at the end of the rows of beds was a door with a small window in it from which she could see the morning sky just now turning pink and red. She ran for it no longer paying attention if she made any noise. The man on the bed would soon enough call out and her hope would be gone. Somehow she had a feeling she only had one shot at this before he made sure it never happened again. Out the door she went into the fresh crisp clean air of outside but her panic didn’t wane. Before she knew it she was running hard her eyes blurring with tears as she took off into the tree line.   
  
    Only later would it occur to her there were no forested areas anywhere near the concrete jungle she called home.  
  
  
If you don’t know where your going any road will get you there.  
~Lewis Carroll  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Damn that crick in my neck is going to take all day to correct. I am too old to sleep on this couch._ The couch was incredible it was deep and plush and you could sink right in but it was made for cuddling not for sleeping sitting up. He didn’t get his shower and the dishes were still on the counter. One day in and he was already falling down on his responsibilities.  
  
    Dishes first then shower then he’d get Lily up for the day and take her down to the clinic. He hadn’t gotten blood yesterday after all the chaos and he really needed to run more tests. The dishes only took a moment and he slid down toward the bathroom still rubbing sleep out of his eyes trying not to wake Lily. But the door didn’t open.   
  
    Where was his watch? This supid house came with chip locks on damn near everything. It was such a pain until he had the chip put into his favorite watch. He went back to the couch and checked it over several times. Before trying to retrace his steps. He’d put Lilly to bed then gone to check on his patient and called his mother then sat on the couch and fell out. He seriously hoped she hadn’t taken to hiding his things in a fit of pique. That could get tedious very quickly.   
  
    “Lily, sweetheart it’s time to get up have you seen my…” He pushed her door open and found her bed empty. Drawers hung open but she was no where to be seen. He whipped his phone out and quickly pushed the speed dial to the security center.   
  
    “I need you to override every lock in my house. What do you mean how long for as long as you can set it and when that runs out you fucking reset it until I call you back to stop!” Back in the hall lights flipped from red to green and he began throwing open doors. _Please dear god don’t let this be real… let her have crawled in some place pouting and hiding._ Room after room he tossed and searched before heading down the stairs to find his patient awake and gesturing in a manner too fast for him to follow. He turned to the man with him. His eyes were puffy with sleep and he was stifling a yawn. He had no doubt he had been asleep only moments prior. “You… are fucking useless.” He turned to the patient on the bed.   
  
    “I’m sorry I can fingerspell but you’re going too fast.” He fished out a pen and flipped a page of his chart over handing it to the man who began to furiously write. When he held it up for someone who so recently was on deaths door he was surprisingly thorough.   
  
    She left right about dawn. She had no coat. She looked like she was in mid drop or having a panic attack. She went into the wood line.  
  
    Dawn… That was two hours ago. He lived on the edge of the entire community it gave him some privacy for his patients. If she had gone out through the garage. She would have come out onto the road that lead back into the town they had established. She had gone out through the clinic though… and into woods that would go on for hundreds of miles before encountering another living soul.   
  
    “Sir?” The young man who should have been watching the patient stood slowly. “Is there uh… anything I can do?” He dropped his head into his hand and tried to tell himself it wasn’t the mans fault even if he had just done as he was told she wouldn’t be in danger right now.   
  
    “You can get the fuck out of my house. Tell Sherriff Mathews what happened. I expect it will be better on you if he doesn’t hear it from me first. Oh… and if anything happens to her. I will personally push the limits of your capacity for pain before you stop feeling anything at all.” The boy ran but he wasn’t paying any attention. He was on his phone again calling back the security center.  
  
    “I need a 20 on my location. I swear to fucking god the next person to question is going to get their teeth kicked in.” He took off running. Two hundred yards west of the house. She hadn’t gone that far. He was thankful beyond anything that she had taken his watch at this moment. He dodged branches and leapt over a fallen log spooking several birds and small animals in the process. It wasn’t them he had to worry about. There were larger meaner things in the woods. He came to the spot he had been directed and his heart dropped. There was his watch sitting just under a bush that grew poison berries. Only it had been picked clean.   
  
    He was horse from screaming her name by the time the Sherriff arrived and forced him to come back to the house so he could help organize the search.   
  
Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.  
~ Edmond de Goncourt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop refers to sub drop which many subs can suffer without proper aftercare making them feel safe and grounded once more.
> 
> Also... we are on the edge of getting a look at the larger community. Also the one shot remains unclaimed. You comment you can name it's subject.


	8. The search

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edited to fix lack of quote *Bad girl! Bad! Go to your room and think about your failures as an author!*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s with the Kidnapping? That’s the question I’ve gotten in several forms. To put it bluntly I had a few reasons. The first being literary. Having been a DM for D&D for a number of years I am fond of the “bottle neck” for throwing players together. This is where they are forced into a situation they can not escape and are forced to work through it until they unite and become a cohesive group. Second in embarking on this literary journey I tried to model a few things after romance novels. My favorite author being Joanna Lindsey. This woman has a kidnapping in EVERY STORY. It comes in many forms and at many times. Sometimes before love sometimes after sometimes by her hero and sometimes by the villain. So naturally I didn’t think much of it. Third it’s kind of a princess rescue to me. (Sorry Belle it’s all you’re fault.) A girl in a terrible situation is whisked away by her prince whom she grows to love and find utter joy with. I do not intend EVER to have anything further than the extent of the sexual events that have transpired be outside of Lily’s choice. Yes for now the terms of her submission are largely beyond her control. Dr B has been and will continue to be careful and conscious of what he asks of her. Lastly, I kinda have a thing about it. It’s one of the situations that my S.O. and I have fantasized and played. Stockholm syndrome is a thing I personally enjoy although that will not be what happens here. The path to them being together will be a bit more natural in my mind. So that said… Please Enjoy.
> 
> Other note: Sorry this took so long there is lots of dialogue and explaining. So was trying to make sure I had all my facts carefully checked between the plans and recording anything that was only kinda sorta laid out. 
> 
> Also… Yes Vietnam… he is Southern Vietnamese. For two reasons one I am American and didn’t want to use a more current war and two. I really want to make the point these people come from many places and backgrounds. I want characters of color only because that’s the real world. I am white yes but I do recognize that I live next to a Mexican family and across from a black one. My boss is from Ethiopia and my favorite Greek restaurant is run by Koreans. Many people, many colors, one world.

    Mister Squishy was gone. That alone made him breathe a little easier. She was strong by nature. Everything she had survived and everything she had suffered she was strong. She would be fine right? He sat on the edge of her bed holding the letter she had written that day in the clinic when  the knock came on the door frame.

    “Mister Michael sir?” There were tears in the boys  eyes and Dr. Blackstone held out a hand the boy came over and took it gently before he pulled the boy down beside him onto the bed putting an arm around him.

    “Now, there’s no need for tears. We’ll find her.” The boy nodded softly.

    “They actually asked me to come get you. Everyone’s ready. But… can I… say something… if it’s ok?” Dr. Blackstone looked at the huge round eyes staring up at him and knew how someone as special as Lily could have fallen in love with the boy.

    “Go ahead Jesus. I’m actually one of the people you’re supposed to talk to if you have a problem or something is not going like it’s supposed to. Are you ok?” The boy nodded and used the heel of his hand to dash the tears from his eyes.

    “I just wanted to say thank you. For me and for Lily. She’s special. She just needs someone to see that. Someone to take care of her. I know it’s hard and she’s scared and sometimes no matter how bad she wants to she get’s scared and can’t talk but… Thank you.” Michael rubbed the boys back gently.

    “Thank you. I know she is. But how are you feeling?” The two stood and began making their way out.

    “I’m good… It’s just, it’s only been two days and I miss my ears, and the paws.” When Michael smiled it caught something in Jesus throat. He was radiant and it made him more than a bit jealous of his best friend. By the time they hit the bottom of the stairs he hooked a left instead of back out and into a room with closely packed shelves and boxes each had a few words printed in a small neat handwriting or a large looping scrawl. He followed closely as he seemed to know exactly where he was going. He pulled down a box and smiled that heartbreaking radiant smile once more.

    “Ok… so paws are a bit out of the question. The woods are bad enough without wearing paws but let’s see how this fits! He pulled the edge of the box up a bit and there was a flash of orange fur. Jesus reached in and pulled out the ears. Orange and pointed with a bit of white at the top. Jesus ran his fingers over them gently. “They feel… amazing!”

    “Their a bit of an antique. It’s real fox fur. I think one of the most disrespectful things you can do to the animals that gave their lives for the fur is to treat it badly. Now come on,” He took the ears from Jesus and slid them on his head long gentle finger arranging the boy’s hair around the band. “Turn around and we’ll seat your tail. I have pants that you can wear that will let it hang out the back.” The silver in the knob glinted and he turned slowly letting his pants fall as he stepped out of them. He leaned forward and grabbed the edge of one of the shelves. Fingers pressed a warm slick into his hole followed by the press of the plug before it seated itself. A moment later he was handed a pair of pants that fastened in both the front and back to allow the tail to hang out though the slit. Then with a smack to the ass that sent him blushing furiously they stepped out to see the gathered masses.

    Over two hundred members of the community had turned out to aid the search. He looked over the assembled crowd to see the white knuckled grips they had on each other. There was nothing more terrifying than someone being lost in the woods.

    “Ladies and Gentleman and all you little monsters… Not you Cole we’re all glad you’re here.” A pale man in the front ducked his head and buried his blushing face into the generous bosom of the dark haired scarred woman beside him. “I can’t say how much it means to me that you’ve all turned out. She’s been missing since dawn. We have reasons to suspect she might have eaten some poisonous fruit so please be aware she may not be able to answer even if she’s only a few feet away so look thoroughly. We have arranged groups and grid maps if you talk to Sheriff Mathews he can get you going. One person in  each group will have a radio one will have a rifle and one a shotgun. Please be aware of the other members of your group at all times. The woods are not safe and bears are just emerging from hibernation so they are extra cranky. When in doubt make sure it’s a bear and shoot it. Thank you all so much and please return before dark we’re expecting freezing temperatures tonight.” Within 15 minutes people were swarming their assigned sections of the woods but there were hundreds of miles and if she was still in a mad dash there was no way of knowing how far she’d gone.  
    He collapsed into a chair and just stared at the tree line. He wanted nothing more than to be out there looking. The sheriff came and sat beside him. “Sir.”

    “Sherriff.” He quirked only a corner of his mouth. Here with Mitch he didn’t have to pretend to be ok or strong. He could just be.

    “You don’t have to do this you know. Pretend you’re not dying inside. I know you better than anyone and you’re falling apart kiddo.” To the rest of the community they simply looked like two men discussing whatever it was that kept this whole place running so smoothly.

    “I’m fucking up James. This whole thing is going to fall apart because I can’t even get my own god dammed house in order.” James laughed.

    “You’re doing fine. You just got a girl with spirit smarts and a panic disorder. You didn’t end up bleeding. You remember when Andrew got that boy who stabbed him with a butter knife two hours after his arrival?” Michael snorted.

    “Andrew deserved to get stabbed. He tried to force the submission. That’s a recipe for disaster if I’ve ever seen one. But he learned his lesson. He’s doing much better now. And isn’t that  boy an end table or something? I thought I saw him last time I was in the shop.”

    Sheriff James Mathews laughed long and hard. “We’ve got a good system. Your dad saw to that. He fixed a lot of things your grand dad did wrong. But you, kid you’re gonna go down in history here. We aren’t the first and certainly wont be the last to live like this. But you inspire a faith and a loyalty I’ve never seen before. You’re like the fucking sub whisperer.”

    “I grew up here. I played with littles more than I played with other kids. I saw what happens when we stop watching each other. I saw what happens when their not happy. When I left I thought I was never coming back. I thought I was going to be a doctor and save lives and make a difference. I never wanted to come back I wanted to get as far away from here as I could. Nineteen years of being told that this paradise was all going to be mine one day and I would have them all looking to me and I needed to buck the fuck up and be stronger and I didn’t want any of it. I wanted to be normal.” Michael stared down into his hands. Remembering the years away.

    “So why’d you come back? You were here for almost two years before your dad died and no one ever mentioned you had any intention of leaving us.”

    “I saw what was out there. I would be in an ER and somebody would come in beat almost to death  you know. Collapsed lung broken ribs needing surgery and you know their partner did it to them. Then they say they fell and won’t look you in the eye and you can’t do anything. Finally this girl comes in. Fifth time in a month. Checked out AMA last time. Because he came to take her home. It took everything in me not to find the bastard and strangle him in a supply closet.”

    The sheriff snorted. “So what did you do… If not strangle him in a supply closet.”

    “Went out and got about six thousand dollars in heroin individually bagged. Put in his car and his house and then called the police. Made the call and got the girl brought back here. You know… What any reasonable human being would have done. Saved the princess and killed the dragon.” He smiled thinking of it now.

    “Who… the fuck? I mean… Who is she? This girl that brought you back? And why aren’t you together? I mean she was your princess right?”

    Michael Blackstone laughed for the first time since Lily went missing but it was a short and pain filled thing. “Marigold. I  didn’t know it at the time. Hell Dad screamed about the procedure and the psychology. It took me another eight months to get everything wrapped up so I could return and by then… well… She had become the woman you know today.”

    “The Iron Matriarch of the local Restaurant who took it from a punishment to a pleasure to eat out.”

    “Mmm. Once she got away from him she found a dream and followed it. All she needed was a chance.” He paused staring at the tree line again. “I should let this one go shouldn’t I. Find her something to do, send her to Paris with my mother. Margret was wrong about Jesus she could have been wrong about Lily oh my god this is all my fault.”  
The two men hadn’t always seen eye to eye. But without hesitation the Sheriff stood and stepped before the younger man.

    “Michael Alexander David Blackstone get you’re ass up we’re going inside before someone sees you cry.” With quick hands he ushered the doctor inside. As much as the community was built on friendship and support it was also built on fear. Fear that there was one man who could judge you and have you thrown out or worse. The people that came here to this haven in the woods or in some cases lived full time dealt with the sorts of fortunes that put small counties to shame. They needed to look to the leader and see the same strength they expected in their businesses. Losing your shit over some girl wasn’t acceptable.

    He got Michael settled and grabbed them both drinks so he could begin with getting the young man completely drunk and getting to the bottom of the issue. He’d known him for only a few years before he left for college when he had finally been convinced to retire here by Alexander Blackstone. It was a great place far away from the war that had defined the man he had become and allowed him peace from the terrors that still gripped him in the dark of night.

    “So James, What did you do to that stupid kid who was supposed to be watching a critical patient and slept right through Lily running into the bear infested, snake laden, kill you with fruit woods? It had to have been interesting you ran a POW camp in Vietnam for years.”

    James snorted thinking back to his home and the things he did that felt necessary at the time. “He’s not a Viet Cong. He’s just a stupid kid. So no it’s not that interesting but I’m sure he would rather have been tied to a post and whipped. At least that would have given him a measure of guilt lifted. You know the ‘I have suffered for my sins’ thing. I stuck him in a back room going over a back log of reports. Everything from ‘oh help my lights flickered’ to ‘Markus was singing naked on his balcony on the evening of the forth. Please approve my request to build a higher fence.’ The most mindless boring thing I could think of that kept him completely out of the search. Let’s ignore the fact that we lost your girl into the woods. That man could have died and he would have slept right through it. I am so unbelievably pissed it’s not even funny.”

    “You’re evil. This is why America loved you. Because you don’t just hurt people… you find the worst thing you could possibly do to them. Did you know the boy in my clinic is deaf? Was I just completely out of the loop on that one? When did we get a deaf sub?” James was aware of what Michael was doing. He was changing the subject again avoiding what he didn’t wish to discuss. He did it so seamlessly that most people didn’t notice that the conversation had turned until it was far past the ability to turn it around naturally. He didn’t mind. At least he was getting himself under control again losing himself in the running of the community and the details of his medical practice.

    “He’s a paying visitor. He wanted some technical things with a medical bent so the Doctor agreed to oblige. We still have no idea what happened though. We’ve been through the house and there is no note. No one saw any signs of depression. We need you to do the autopsy when you’re ready.” The two drank in silence for sometime more watching the minutes tick past and praying to any god that would listen for news or even a sign.  


* * *

  
  
    She was freezing. The berries she had collected early on had been lost in a tumble down a hill when she thought she had recognized something she had passed. It was a different kind of cold here than it was in her little box back tent city. It felt like it was coming from inside. She wanted nothing more than to go back at this point but the sun was high in the sky when she finally stopped running and had no idea which way she had come from.

    She snuggled deeper into the small overhang she had found under the cover of leaves she had created to hold in her body heat and keep her from freezing in the night. She would have given anything for the smell of cologne and detergent and what ever it was that was undeniably the Doctor. She’d had more than enough time to think about it. Over everything and every time he had not once hurt her. He had been so careful and gentle. When he smacked her for her language it was more a matter of being startled than being hurt. He was like Jesus in a lot of ways and so different in others.  He was tall and strong where Jesus was just shorter than her and spindly as a bean pole. But they were the only two people in the world that had tried to take care of her after her parents. The only people who tried to care what she wanted. Right now she wanted him. The comfort of his arms and the gentle way he would kiss her head. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine it. As she drifted off to sleep she could almost hear the echo of her own name in a strong baritone echoing through the forest.

 

* * *

 

    Night had fallen hours ago and searchers were still stumbling back. They had pushed and pressed as far as they dared in the dark and repositioned to get ready to go back out in the morning. There had been no sign. Only Bear the Sub of the local bar owner gave him any sign of hope. “I found a trail. It’s fresh enough but there aren’t any tracks just… signs. She’s going in circles. Circles means she’s looking for something. Only place to look for is back home.”

    Michael forced disinterest and organized extra lights to make sure she could see it in the dark if she got close enough. Normally they watched their light levels not wanting to stand out to any passing flights as a bright spot of light in the middle of thousands of miles of Canadian wilderness.

    If anyone noticed him sitting up going over maps and narrowing search grids all night they wisely said nothing.  
  
  


* * *

Edit: How the hell did I forget the quote I had picked out!!!

“When you’re looking for a needle in a haystack, don’t afraid to burn the haystack to save yourself from spending half your life picking through strands of straw.”   
~ A.J. Darkholme, Rise of the Morningstar 

“She would search for him.   
In the land that lay east of the sun and west of the moon.   
But there was no way there.”   
~ Edith Pattou, East 

 

* * *

  
_**AUTHORS NOTE WARNING** **Because I'm sure not everyone reads the notes section.** _  
_**Please be advised the next chapter will have Non Consensual Non Sexual violence. Something pretty horrid is about to happen to Lily I understand FULLY if you are not interested in this and I will not expect all of you to read it. The first part of the chapter will set the scene I WILL PUT IN A NOTE BEFORE THE VIOLENCE STARTS. At the beginning of the next chapter any story centric bits will be recapped for those that skipped. As with any romance novel and life in general sometimes bad things happen that we grow from and through. Thank you for reading commenting and all the Kudos! See you soon!** _  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes that is Cole and Cassandra from Dragon Age Inquisition making a single line appearance just to let me make a "listen up you little monsters" joke. Good Catch!


	9. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned the violence begins and ends in this chapter. If you don't want to read it stop at the warning and read the summary at the begining of the next chapter. Cant wait for the next chapter? Put on your big girl pants and dive in! It's not pretty!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the warning? Ok this is the next to last time I am going to remind you!  
> Also I have a Tumblr! OMG I'm entering the year 2005! But if you want to follow me there it's completely SFW with tons of cute DDLG stuff and will start having progress reports on the story! sightsoblind.tumblr.com

    She was awake with the suddenness that came from years of living a hairs breadth away from danger. Her fingers were numb and her limbs felt stiff but every muscle was coiled knowing that something was wrong. She could hear the movement nearby of something in the brush and fallen foliage. She pushed up and moved out of her hiding place. She just wanted to be anywhere but lost and alone. “Hello! Is someone there?” Her eyes strained against the dim light of the early dawn.   
  
    When it lifted it’s head she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to run or freeze. It was huge. Bears in reality were nothing like on TV. They were massive and it seemed to radiate an ominous gloom around it. When it roared she ran. She could think of nothing else but getting away and as it gave chase she pushed harder and harder trying to stay just ahead but despite its size it was gaining. She saw a low hanging branch and started to climb trying to tell herself over and over it was just like navigating a fire escape. Jump pull climb What she didn’t account for was the reach. Lily nearly tumbled from the tree dodging it’s massive paws as it continued to roar and try and bat her out of the tree. Only the dense press of the branches stopped it from getting a clear enough shot to kill her.   
  
    The noise was like thunder. A single thunderous crack and the bear went still. Someone was screaming. It was her she realized as she was forced to breathe or pass out. For a moment time seemed to stand still. There was no noise in the moments that followed that terrible sound just her harsh breathing. The bear hung suspended where it had fallen into the branches. It could only have been a few moments but to Lily it felt like hours. When the man stepped into view she began to sob. “I want to go home,” She managed to squeak but for the first time since she had begun demanding to be sent home she wasn’t sure if she meant Tent City or the incredibly pink and white room with the doctor.  
  
    He was older gray of hair and in some sort of official uniform that read ‘Haven’ on all the patches. He stopped only long enough to make sure the bear was dead before looking up at her with quizzical eyes. “And what are you doing all the way out here?”  
  
    It all came out spilling in a rush of near nonsensical babble but his face softened to something trustworthy and kind. There was familiar anger and rage as she told of her treatment at the hands of this doctor who had kidnapped her and taken her to his house and kept her locked away. It was the anger at her treatment that made her know she could trust him and she slid to the ground. She took one step forward as she finished her tale.  
  
    That’s when his hands closed around her neck pushing her back into the tree cutting off her air and making the light go dim on the edges. “Sometimes I think god doesn’t listen. Then he puts you right in my lap you little cunt.”  
  
    She had made a terrible mistake she thought as she the world went dark around her.  
  
“O serpent heart hid with a flowering face!  
Did ever a dragon keep so fair a cave?  
Beautiful tyrant, feind angelical, dove feather raven, wolvish-ravening lamb! Despised substance of devinest show, just opposite to what thou justly seemest - A dammed saint, an honourable villain!”   
~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet   
  


* * *

  
  
THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!! THIS IS WHERE YOU SHOULD STOP TO AVOID THE TERRIBLE THINGS SHE IS ABOUT TO SUFFER!!!  
  
As I have said before there will be a recap at the beginning of the next chapter. I will not ask anyone to step out of their comfort zone but this has been planned from the beginning even if the situation has evolved to be more complex than the original imagining.   
This is not something that I intend to make a habit of in this story but it is a turning moment in her life. It will also in story explain a few things that will be listed in less literary ways if you chose not to read. Needless to say, Grandmother what very large teeth you have!  
  


* * *

  
  
    Lily woke to agony of thousands of volts of electricity running through her body. Her head whipped back striking the post behind her. Her arms were chained over her head and she wasn’t sure if the ache was due to her position or the shock she had just suffered.   
  
    “Good morning sleepy head! The fun is just starting and I really wanted you awake for this part!” Her nightgown was gone she wanted to scream but her throat closed in the familiar sensation and somewhere deep down she knew nothing would do anything to ease it. No one had ever explained how or why her voice would fail her but it was comforting in it’s familiarity.   
  
    “Now… Tell me about your ‘Daddy’ is he going to miss you much? You see I’ve been gone for a bit! Just got back you see. Your daddy and I had a little disagreement.” He picked up a long menacing looking whip from somewhere outside of her field of vision and started stalking around her swishing it back and forth letting it snap at the end of each arc. “You see he says the old ways aren’t good enough any more.” He lashed out bringing it across her belly causing pain to blossom in a new agony like never before. She winced and tried to pull her legs up to cover her torso but no sound came forth. “Tough girl are you? I’m going to have fun making you scream for me bitch.” Several more strokes were laid with the whip splitting the skin on her thighs twice and once wrapping around her side for the whip to cut into the tender flesh of the side of her ribs. The lack of a verbal response only enraging him more until he cast aside the instrument and stalked over grabbing her by the chin bouncing her head off the pole behind her.   
  
    “Do you have any fucking idea what I could do to you whore? I’m from the early days. When your daddy’s grandfather ran the place. Picked me up in a seedy biker bar after seeing what I was capable of. I used to teach this shit. How to get the most pain with the least amount of loss. How to make you suffer for days upon days without passing out. How to break you down to the little worthless piece of shit you are. You know nothing and you are nothing! YOUR FUCKING PLACE IS AT MY GOD DAMMED FEET!” Closed fists rained blow after blow over her and she could feel a rib crack then another. She knew bruises would be blossoming and her wrist was screaming in pain. She would have given anything to scream or cry or beg him to stop anything to appease his hurt pride at her lack of response. But still she found herself unable.  
  
    He dragged her feet up off the floor next leaving her to hang by her wrists as he tied them together on the far side of the pole preventing her from dropping them or shielding them from the flurry of blows he reigned down over the soles. She could have sworn her feet were on fire when he untied them creating a war within her between putting her feet down and letting the pressure out of her shoulders or supporting herself on her screaming feet. It felt like hours that passed as he introduced her to new forms of pain and agony growing ever more angry with her seeming lack of reaction aside from the tears that painted her face.  
  
    When he stormed out he killed the only light in the room casting her to total darkness she thought she could relax.   
  
    She was mistaken. He was gone only a few minutes when suddenly lights began to strobe around the room and an ungodly cacophony of noise erupted from everywhere and no where in particular. It lasted only a moment only long enough to make her head spin and leave her to wonder if it had just really happened. When it happened again a few minutes later she was sure it was real and a whole new way to torment her. It would happen dozens more times before he would return making her doubt her own sanity and sense of time as she could never come to expect the next round.  
  


* * *

  
  
    The righteous little prick had the entire town out searching for the girl he had found without even looking. She’d been less than half a mile from the landing strip only slightly off the small dirt road that led back into the Community proper. The sheriffs’ offices were abandoned all but for one young man sat before a giant pile of paperwork.  
  
    “Mister Powers, Lovely to see you again. I am required by Michael to remind you that your ban on soliciting submissives into your service still stands.” He grinned at the young man stuck here at his desk manning the fort with a deep weariness in his features. He looked as if he knew exactly what he was worth. Nothing. The boy didn’t even deserve to be allowed to speak to one such as him.  
  
    “I’m well aware of the restrictions on one of the oldest running members of this wonderful community I helped build. But I’m fairly sure one of these days someone is going to hate themselves enough to need my sort of comfort and come to me.” He worked his way around the table slowly putting hands on either side of the younger mans neck feeling the pulse race beneath his fingers. “When that happens. I will be there waiting to help through whatever it is that they’ve done to deserve it. As far as I am aware there are no rules against someone coming to see me of their own volition.”   
  
    “Y…yes, well I’ve got you checking in. The power is still on to your house and such but the grocery and everything else is closed. We’ve got a missing girl. She had a panic attack and ran into the woods.” He enjoyed making the worthless little shit squirm and tightened his hands gently around it’s neck.  
  
    “Hmm… wonder whose fault that is. Michael keeps his house locked pretty tight for security reasons. Would be a fucking shame if the girl died out there.” He closed his hands further to cut the little fucks air off and reveled in the fact that he made no protest. When he finally released the little worthless thing it gasped for breath. “Could you have some things delivered. I’ll send you by a list you can just charge my account and leave it on the porch. Ta!”   
  
    Daniel watched Augustus Powers Terror of The Community walk out of the station with no small bit of relief. People told horror stories about what he had done in the time before the rules had changed to protect the submissives that came here. He wasn’t precisely aware of what he had done to get so many restrictions placed on him. The files were sealed. There was a pain in his heart he couldn’t seem to ease. This whole thing was his fault and the added weight of the idea that she might die because he took a nap weighed on him even further. No one would even tell him if they were making any progress. He only knew no one had found her yet.

* * *

  
  
    Lily had no way of knowing how long she’d been alone for but the experience was so terrifying she almost preferred the single light coming back on that heralded his return even with the pain she knew was sure to come. He held a knife in one hand and  a battery with jumper cables attached dangled in the other. Her eyes went wide as saucers and she was sure she wasn’t getting any air as she tried to breathe.   
  
    “You and I sweetheart are going to have so much fun. So I did some looking. And no one seems to give a fuck that your missing. Even swung by dear Michael’s house and while it’s upsetting he doesn’t give a shit as much as I would like to hurt him. He seemed to be moving on. He was already meeting with other Littles. So… You’re mine bitch!” There was a wheezing sound as she tried desperately to scream around the knot in her throat as the knife flashed up. He hacked away her hair in large clumps letting it fall to the floor at her feet. Until none of it came any farther than her shoulders. Where before it had brushed the bottom of her ass. The missing weight made her head feel light and wobbly on her shoulders. Next came the pads onto various parts of her body. They didn’t seem to hurt or pull or burn and for a moment she didn’t know why he even bothered until he touched one with the cables. They were for nothing more and nothing less than to make sure he got the most effective use of his car battery.  
  
    An hour later something inside of her broke. The struggles and thrashing and whimpers ceased and for the first time in her life she had no desire to survive. If only he had any intention of letting her die. He forced a tube down her throat and fed her through it before leaving again and turning the lights and noises back on promising to return in the morning. Ironically enough the only thing she could think as he left was Daddy’s don’t break promises. 

* * *

 

Smile, the worst is yet to come  
We'll be lucky if we ever see the sun  
Got nowhere to go, we could be here for a while

~Mikky Ekko

 

“To truly hate is an art one learns with time.”   
~ Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with it! You guys are fucking amazing you know that over 2200 hits 29 subs and 74 Kudos! I am blown away I am speachless I am fucking humbled. Every comment every Kudo every sub and every hit make my little heart soar and humble me before you. I didn't know I wasn't alone in my frustrations for something more until this response! So I love each and every one of you. You make me cry happy tears and stay up until ungodly hours writing! You are my muses and I love you all! Now Comment and love me back! OH and don't forget to head over to DDLGForums we just hit 1000 users and are growing everyday Daddies Littles and the Merely curious have a safe place to gather and you may even get a chance to talk with a not so shitty author SightSoBlind because I like to be easy to stalk! (me you silly butts!)


	10. The Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for hanging in there for all the Kudos and the comments and the love and everything! I can't express how amazing and at the same time difficult this has been. I want so bad to just wave a magic wand and make everything wonderful but I committed myself to being real. I want real emotions to happen as they overcome the impossible setbacks. I want to watch them fuck up and fix things and find a way to make it work despite the odds. We're a long way from done folks but I promise the Darkest part is over! Now it's just fallout and climbing back out of this terrible hole they've dug for themselves.

*******RECAP*******  
We learned several important facts about the players.   
Augustus Powers is the man who took Lily. He had already been in trouble on multiple occasions for the mistreatment of subs under him. He comes from the time when Dr. B’s grandfather ran the Community and it was a very different very dark place that catered to the darkest desires of the wealthy. Some things changed under Dr. B’s father but the greatest changes came under Michael who banned Powers from actively seeking out subs within the community. BUT a sub can willingly and on their own come to him if they are interested in the very special kind of hell he offers. He checked in with the local sheriffs office and saw Daniel, the young man who effectively was the only reason she made it out the door in the first place. He made a passing offer seeing how much Daniel seemed to hate himself at that moment reminding him he could come of his own volition. Powers had taken Lily for 2 reasons. 1 his access to submissives was very limited and 2 he wanted to hurt Dr. B. He feels he is important due to his length of time in the community. He tried to break her down telling her that the Dear Doctor had moved on and already taken another little. He told her no one was looking for her and no one cared. Between pain and sleep deprivation using intermittent sounds and flashing lights he started to cause a mental break. Lily believed him because above all else she believes in the rules… And Daddies don’t lie.  
Now you’re caught up without having to read the specifics of the terrible physical things he did to her.   
Poor Daniel… I’m actually starting to love that poor dear lost boy.   
*******END RECAP*******  
  
  
  
    On the third day of the search the worst possible conclusion was come to. She was gone. Her stuffed rabbit Mister Squishy was found with blood on his fur not far from her slippers that had been soaked clean through. The search was called off.  Daniel couldn’t stop staring at them. The blood soaked slippers that were all that remained of the girl encased in a plastic bag. They had been dropped unceremoniously onto his desk as he was told to file them away. 

    He couldn’t help but think of four other little girls. Four little girls he failed to help when he was with the San Francisco Police Department. They had been found dead one after another before a lucky traffic stop caught the man responsible in the act of taking a fifth girl. That was when he knew he had to get out. That was when he came here. He’d given his sense of self and control for a sense of peace and forgiveness. But no one was willing to give him the absolution of punishment for his sins this time. He was all but ignored by his colleges and completely ignored by those that used to contract his services. It felt like his punishment for bearing the brunt of the blame for her getting lost was being denied any relief from his guilt. 

    But there still stood a single offer. There was only one question. Did he truly need to stop feeling this crushing guilt enough to turn himself over to the mercies of a man people claimed was a monster? 

    He clocked out at the end of his shift and stepped into the street. He ignored his golf cart and began the walk back to the home he shared with the Sheriff and rest of the law enforcement staff intending to stop and pick up a bottle of wine to hopefully knock him into a dreamless sleep. 

    On the way in he ran into Michael Blackstone. He had never known him to be anything but strong and solid. He felt like the rock that the rest of them could build on. When you were too weak or too broken down he would help you find a center and remind you what an important piece of the world you were. He had bags under his eyes and looked like he had been lost a million miles away. “Sir? Is there… can I help you with something? Are you going to be ok to get home?”

    “I’m sorry, I… I can’t remember your name. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.” Daniel felt like he had been struck. It had just been a nap. He’d been up for ages and he’d finally given in to sleep and he’d managed to get a girl killed and broke the rock which the community thrived on. Not a lot of people talked about how it had been before Michael but those that did painted a picture of excess and fear. They claimed upon it’s founding they took anyone and everyone they wanted without fear of consequence. The collection policies had changed under his father but it had been Michael who had created a place people came willingly giving themselves and their entire lives over to the community. A chance to be forgiven for whatever they ran from. But it sat on a razors edge of falling apart. The changes were all too new and he had managed to break the only man holding it apart. 

    He was staring up at the old red brick house without ever knowing how he had gotten there. Don’t go to that house was the only hard and fast rule he had ever been given. The thought of Master James propelled him forward to the front door. He’d been ignored since the Doctor had been found and he’d been assigned to watch the man who’d been found with him. Tears brimmed in his eyes as the weight of everything threatened to crush him. He didn’t care if Augustus Powers killed him the only thing he wanted was enough pain so that it could bleed out from his heart and onto his flesh because if he didn’t do something he was going to die from the weight of the guilt. 

    Daniel knocked and then a moment later knocked again. There was no answer so he opened the door and let himself in. He could make his way downstairs and be waiting. Anything was better than going home at this point. He made his way to the basement stairs and took the first few steps down. The darkness was absolute after the first few turns in the stairs but almost all of the original houses were  built on the same layout so finding his way down wasn’t an issue. He hit the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath. That’s when it happened. The strobe lights and the noise that drilled into his skull. It only lasted six seconds but it was long enough to iluminate the young woman chained to the post in the center of the room. Her eyes were wild and her gaze seemed unfocused and Daniels heart stopped beating for several seconds. 

    “Lily?” He said into the returned darkness his voice so strained it was foreign to his own ears. Quick strides carried him to the girl where the lock picks every officer carried made quick work of the chains on her wrists causing her to collapse into his arms. He reached for the radio. “Attention all units I need an APB out on Augustus Powers. I have located the missing person Lily at 1312 Mockingbird Lane request immediate assistance. 

 

* * *

“The shadow is dark and the woods are cold, but they are not endless. No matter how lost you are now, you are not lost forever. You are findable. Love just keeps on looking.”   
~ Anna White

* * *

 

 

    This wasn’t the first dream of rescue she’d had since this nightmare had begun. But it was the first time she failed to recognize the voice or face of her rescuer. She knew it would go back to the hell her life had become any moment. When her mind stopped trying to run away and she could simply accept she wasn’t dead yet no matter how badly she wanted it. The warmth was a new addition. And the fact that when the over head light flipped on it didn’t fade. But as the man who had narrowed her world down to pain and not pain stepped to the bottom of the stairs the delusion did change.

 

* * *

 

    “Ok darlin. You need to learn to do this.” Six year old Lily pushed her protective glasses higher on her nose and stared up at her Father. He was the most handsome wonderful man she had ever known and today he was going to teach her how to use his gun. “If we’re going to have a gun in the house I need you to know how to use it and what it’s for. Never aim at anyone you don’t want to kill. Now,” Strong hands on her shoulders turned her down the range. “Pick up the gun.”

    Something in the back of her mind told her that it should have been flat on the table not sticking up like that. It was facing the wrong way too butt away from her. But her hand closed around it all the same. She had to lift her head a bit to see around the counter and raised the gun. “Squeeze the trigger gently aiming at the center of the target darlin. Don’t pull it and try to be careful of your recoil. Start low so your recoil walks it’s way up the target.” Lily couldn’t understand when the paper target at the end of the range fluttered to the ground but the world turned again. The gun was still in her hand and a man in a police uniform was trying to take it away from her. 

    “I’m not sure if I have any more bullets? Do you want to find out?” She pointed it directly at his chest. 

* * *

You have taught me hate. I will teach you fear.  
~Laries

* * *

 

    Michael was halfway into his bottle of scotch when his phone rang and he threw it against the wall hard enough to shatter it into a hundred pieces. He couldn’t stop staring at the blood covered rabbit. He felt like the world was ending. He snatched the bunny up and went to the kitchen and shoved it into the sink desperately trying to scrub the blood away. She would have been devastated to find him in such a state and he couldn’t leave him like that. When Mister Squishy was clean he turned to set him at her drawing table and froze.

    “Thank you for everything.” He was still there holding the letter when someone else walked into the kitchen. 

* * *

 

    “I need you downstairs now. Augustus Powers has been shot six times.” Sheriff Matthews watched as the doctor in Michael came out pushing away everything else. 

    “I don’t suppose you’re interested in telling me who shot him and why? Didn’t think so.” The sheriff escorted the last doctor in the community down and assisted over the next several hours as he patched the man up. When Augustus was finally stable and was declared he was going to make it James stepped outside with Michael. 

    “I need to tell you something.” He couldn’t help but notice how his friend was staring at the wood line and slowly losing the color in his face. “We found Lily. But I don’t recommend trying to see her right now.” His words didn’t even have a chance to fall on deaf ears. Michael was gone. 

    He followed him all the way to the station and wished he’d had more of a chance to warn him. 

    Lily was still where she had been left in the observation room holding the gun. So far she hadn’t let anyone get within five feet of her. She had threatened to shoot anyone that tried and as such only Daniel was dealing with her. He stood only a few feet behind his old friend as he stood pressed to the glass of the two way mirror waiting.

* * *

 

    Lily looked up from where she had been staring at her hands trying to remember what was real and what wasn’t. How much had she dreamed and how much had truly happened. The new man was back. The one with the sad eyes. She didn’t know what cause he had to be sad. He still had people who loved him. Lily was finally truly alone.

    “Hey… There’s someone here to see you. Your Daddy’s here, Doctor Blackstone. He’d really like to see you.” Lily’s face twisted with her pain. He had forgotten her the moment she was gone. She wasn’t pretty anymore. She wasn’t sweet. The man was right. She was stupid and worthless and Dr B would see it the moment he looked at  her. She would give anything not to face that.

    “No,” It was easier this way. Better. She could remember the way he loved her once. The way he had looked at her and smiled and held her. She could remember like she remembered her parents and Jesus. Remembered how they loved her when she was still good and pretty and perfect. She wasn’t any of those things anymore. The man had shown her that. If she had been perfect he wouldn’t have hurt her. Because Daddies don’t lie.

* * *

 

    The Sheriff watched as his friend winced at her words. “You have to let me see her James… Please. Just, let me see if I can get her to give up the gun. I just. I need to see she’s really ok.”

    “Michael she’s put three bullets in the wall. She’s still got six shots left and until another Doctor gets into town I can’t let you in there. In the mean time I need  you to get me her contract. I need it for the trial.” Suddenly everything occurred to the doctor at once. The gun carried fifteen shots. Three in the wall six left. That left six shots from a handgun buried in Augustus Powers.

    “She never signed a contract James. She was just… she was so fucking lost. She was so alone and so close to being broken completely and so innocent. I tried to make this place a haven for people like her. I tried to find a way to take those that didn’t deserve the lot life gave them a second chance to make their lives matter. But she never would have agreed. I wasn’t about to leave her there.” Michael flattened his palm against the window wishing somehow he had a way to make her feel him there. Make her know how sorry he was for everything he had done to her. Everything he had caused by pulling her away from her life and bringing her here. She just kept staring at the floor. For the first time in his life he felt like a monster. 

    “You… can not… be fucking serious. This is everything you fought to change. Your father stopped taking people who had lives. You instituted the contractual agreements! You made the fucking rules! Do you have any idea what’s going to happen if people find out about this! YOU FUCKING KIDNAPPED HER YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” James was furious. Everything they had done to take this place out of the dark ages and he had gone and thrown it away over a girl that the entire community was aware of now. But somehow he couldn’t believe in a world where his best friend had been wrong in trying to save the girl. He had just done it in exactly the wrong way threatening to destroy everything they had done to save this place.  “You need to make this right. But first you need to get the fuck out of my office. I don’t want you anywhere near her. Not until we get this sorted. No fucking wonder she doesn’t want anything to do with you.” 

 

* * *

 

Look into your heart, you will find  
There's nothin' there to hide  
Take me as I am, take my life  
I would give it all, I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more  
You know it's true  
Everything I do, I do it for you

~Bryan Adams

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... rough draft kind of deal and all... Yes... Doctor Daddy broke the rules. Since kidnapping was a more common thing in my original idea (I have completely rewritten my outline so many times lol it keeps getting longer and deeper exploring more things) it is possible it doesn't read as fluid as I would like. Someday I will do a rewrite where these wrinkles are ironed out so roll with it for now. But Daddy is in trouble! And Lily is terrified he doesn't want her anymore and mentally off kilter. God bless the broken road that led me right to you. Don't worry folks... I'm not done punishing Mister Powers but what he did does not deserve a quick death. It will not be graphic but it will absolutely make sure everyone knows what he did and that he gets what he deserves.  
> Also did I make Lily's hallucination/flashback clear? It's a bit hard cleanly writing someone having a bit of a mental break.


	11. Nana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I gots some people to call out!   
> Cachmeifucan, Cecilie_N_Singh, csp78, AlleeJ, caittss, forestlover, lise235, Jenn0509, HannaUnlimited, MiaJuhl (Miajuhl_lokidliar), lost, NCISmysterygal, laurenbee, Hatsepsut, DragonLover143, CliffieBear20, Haichuuu, Clairebearbastille, Pookiep, hope_06, Em7117, cearak, Daddy'sGirl, newbie, Celestine, 2035 and the 64 Anons  
> My commenters and Kudos leavers! You guys are amazing. I need you so much to know that each new Kudo Comment Subscriber and the amazing rate at which my hit count grows makes me write like a demon! I even called into work today so I could spend the day writing! I love you guys so hard. You have no idea what your reading and encouragements mean to me! I keep looking at my stat page going NO WAY!!! DADDY LOOK WHAT I DID!!! LOOK WHAT I DID!!! NOW YOU GOTTA KISS ME ONE TIME FOR EVERY HIT!!! And he’s all… How bout I just love you forever and ever because I’m never gonna keep up with them. And I’m ok with that! Also stop over at DDLGForum.com to see our ever growing community! And hit my tumblr at http://sightsoblind.tumblr.com 100% SFW

    “Pardonnez-moi , vous avez un appel téléphonique” Jolene opened her eyes slowly and smiled at the poor young man holding the phone on a silver tray beside her. She lifted the receiver gracing the boy holding the tray with a dazzling smile. “Merci.”  
  
    “Bonjour.” She listened for a moment to the man on the other end of the line, her gentle smile slowly becoming a hard line. “Thank you for calling.” She let the handset drop into the receiver and swept from her lounge beside the hotel pool. “Pardon? I am going to be checking out. Someone will be by to pack my things and send them on after me. Please call me a taxi to the airport. I need to go home.”  
  


* * *

  
  
    To say that Jolene Blackstone made an entrance would be an understatement. At Sixty seven years old she was fearless. Her white hair was gathered into a long braid down her back topped by a large floppy black hat. Her bikini was in an older and more generously cut style but still left little to the imagination beneath the sheer black caftan that billowed around her as she was lowered from the helicopter that hovered over the main street.   
  
    She wore nothing but black and swept down the street ignoring everyone and everything until she slung the front doors of the Sheriffs office open and began walking back toward the observation rooms as officers scrambled to run after her. “Ma’am, You uh, You can’t go back there. You need to check in first perhaps  you would like to speak to Master Mathews we can arrange that but…” He was cut off when she spun on him with such a precise and graceful motion he could have sworn she had said something, but he couldn’t remember it if she had. There was just… a presence around her.   
  
    “I’m looking for Lily. You can either show me back or let me just start checking rooms.” The boys mouth opened and closed a few times before showing her back. She pulled an old key out from her tiny little purse and unlocked the door striding in.  
  
    He watched getting ready to cry out a warning when she reached out and just plucked the gun from her hands dropped the clip checked the chamber and laid the whole thing on the table behind her. “Sweetheart it’s ok Nana’s here now and we’re not going to let anyone hurt you anymore.” The fire and ice in her voice had become soft as satin as she slid onto the bench beside the girl and gathered her close in despite her stiff posture. She placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and rubbed her arms and back gently. “Shhh… shhh… Nana’s got you baby. It’s gonna be ok.”   
  
    Other officers had begun to gather behind the two way mirror watching in   
amazement as the girl started to shake and then sob pulling into the woman. The empty cold girl that had been staring at the floor for the last fifteen hours was gone replaced with a sobbing wreck. Lily babbled incoherently into the woman who just held her and placed gentle kisses to the top of her head giving small noises of encouragement and reassurance.  After an hour Lily had fallen quiet and with the encouragement of Jolene stood clinging to the older woman. They stepped into the hallway. “Three things. First I need someone to give us a ride back to one of the guest houses. Second if any one of you tells Michael I’m here or that I have Lily one second before I am ready I will find a way to end you. And Third. Someone call Andrea at the shops and tell her to call in on us I am going to need a few things. I don’t suppose any of you have a binky? That would be a nice start.”  
  


* * *

  
  
    Within the hour she had everything she had asked them for and was settled into a guest house with Lily. Sherriff Mathews had returned to the girl missing and a bull pen full of officers trying to explain themselves.   
  
    “And which one of you stupid little shits bothered to get her name? Why did you just let her walk out without making her check in! She can’t be that scary!” He could have slapped himself at the looks he received that assured him that yes. This woman was more of a force of nature than a human being and she was terrifying.  
  
    It was Daniel that spoke first, “That’s Jolene Blackstone. And I called her.”  
  
  
    “You called… his mother?” Mathews exclaimed indignant. Daniel shrugged.   
  
    “If you’re having a bad day and mad at everyone and everything hurts you need a mother. I thought she would come and get Michael sorted though… I didn’t think she’d come after Lily… sir…” James heaved a great sigh and pulled Daniel into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’ve been harsh with you lately and you’ve been amazing. Can we just… We’ll tell Michael I called her. I think it’s best you stay out of his crosshairs for a bit. Now come on… Let’s take the rest of the afternoon off and you can grab anything you want from the armory then we’ll catch a movie or a massage maybe?” He laughed as Daniel leapt a desk in his hurry to comply. Sometimes he forgot how much Daniel needed extra attention to keep his head right. 

 

* * *

  
  
    Lily began to relax once they were alone in the house. A bubble bath was drawn and the woman who called herself Nana filled the empty silence with a gentle chatter full of happy thoughts and stories of wonderful fantasy. She never asked any questions or let herself get too far away. Her hands were gentle and her presence comforting. She had gotten a pacifier from the police station but had only handed it to Lily to do with as she willed. When she was clean and in the largest fluffiest robe she had ever imagined she was tugged along to the kitchen where she was sat in a chair in the middle of the floor.   
  
    Nana began to comb out and fuss with her hair making Lily draw back into her chair. The doctor had liked her hair so much now it was a disgusting mess. “Hmmm. I am going to make you so pretty! You have such a good jaw. I’m thinking a little pixie princess cut! Long around your chin and short in the back! It will look so good with ribbons! I just love short hair with ribbons. Then we’re going to get you some dresses and go out to lunch! I’d like to take you to see a few old friends of mine! I think you’ll like them.” She pulled scissors from one of the drawers and began to snip away at the butchered remains of Lily’s hair. “I lived here for forty two years you know. I had to leave after my husband died it was so full of painful memories. But the world out there is lonely and no one will ever love you like they do here.” The scissors paused for a moment in their snipping as she looked away out the window and down the street a deep sadness passing over her features. Lily wanted so badly to get the smile back she pulled the pacifier from her clenched fist and slipped it into her mouth. Then reached with her now free hand for Nana’s and  gripped it tightly. The soft plastic was a comfort in and of it self but the smile she earned was worth so much more pulling one out of the younger woman as well.   
  
    “I’m sorry baby girl. I just didn’t know how much I missed this place. I was so sure it was going to be terribly hard to be here but I’m looking forward to seeing my friends. And you are so sweet I can’t wait to get to know you better. I’ve even got presents from Paris that will be coming soon!’ She went back to the snipping and clipping more and more hair falling away fixing the damage done by the rough knife that had cut away her long locks. The gentle knock at the door caused Lily to jump but Nana only put the scissors away and called out. “It’s open!”   
  
    A moment later a woman in a pink dress covered in laces and frills ran in carrying a Hello Kitty lunchbox. “Ohhhhh your hair is SUPER CUTE!” She spun back toward the way she came and yelled at the top of her lungs. “DADDY I WANNA CUT MY HAIR SUPER CUTE LIKE MISS JOLENE’S NEW FRIEND OK?”  
  
    A moment later a man stepped around the corner laughing and pulled her into a hug. “No. If you still want to cut it all off tomorrow ask me again. But I don’t want this to turn out like when you wanted to dye it purple and the very next day you hated it and we had to try and bleach it all out.” Lily was trying to breathe around the rising panic. He wasn’t even looking at her he was staring down at the woman who was pouting up at him. It was the kiss that stopped her heart. He leaned down and kissed her gently on the corners of her mouth as he tickled her sides. Then again on the nose peppering kisses over her face until she stopped pouting and wrapped her arms around his neck pushing into him and kissed him deeply. They stood there in the door way kissing and smiling like there was no one else in the room causing Lily’s jaw to drop. They were a bit of an unlikely couple. She was so pretty and cute in her perfect clothes and carefully styled hair and he in an old pair of jeans flip flops and a flannel with several days of stubble and hair he might as well have only combed with his fingers. So why did it make her heart hurt so badly.   
  
    It was Nana’s clearing of her throat that had them pulling apart the girl giggling. “Ok that’s enough. There are other people here and I’m not going to have you to making a scene in the kitchen. People cook in here sometimes. Dominick be a dear and go bring in the things we have a lot of things to get. Now off with you this is girl time.” The man left with a smile pinching his little’s bottom on the way out.   
  
    “Behave for Miss Jolene I’m going to get your things then I’ll just be down at the diner call if you need me.   
  
    “Yes Daddy! I love you!” The man named Dominick darted back and kissed her quickly one more time.   
  
    “Love you too! Be nice to your new friend.” And out he went once more. Through the kitchen window Lily watched him as he hauled in piles of Rubbermaid containers covered in puffy paint flowers and butterflies into the front room of the house. Once he was gone the other girl turned to her.   
  
    “Hi! I’m Andrea! It’s super nice to meet you! We seem about the same size! We can share clothes and shoes and stuff! Won’t that be awesome! What’s your name? Do you like Purple or Pink better? I like Purple but everyone else is all, ‘Ohhh pink is the best!’ And I need I NEED someone else to like purple so we can get more purple in the stores!” Her smile was wide and open and the rapid speed of the questions left Lily more than a little confused.   
  
    “I’m Lily.” She finally managed and watched the girls eyes go wide.  
  
    “Oh my GOD! Miss Jolene you didn’t tell me!” Lily froze as the other girl flung herself at her and wrapped her into a giant bear hug. “I am so glad your ok! We were all so worried! Don’t go in the woods! Their SUPER dangerous! I figured they found you cus they called off the search. It was SUPER scary out there! I don’t know how you did it! I was terrified! I kept having nightmares of being lost like you! I am so so glad you’re ok!”  
  
    “You… you were looking for me?” The man had said no one was looking. He had   
told her that the Doctor had moved on and found someone else to take care of. Someone who could do the things he wanted.  
  
    “EVERYBODY Was looking for you silly! There was even this little fox boy who kept crying! It was so sad! And your Daddy was just so scared! I’m so glad you’re not in trouble for running off! The last time I got lost was when Daddy and I went to one of his art shows in some German place… or was it Russian… But I didn’t know the language   
and I couldn’t read the signs and I had got lost for like hours! I was so scared but Daddy found me and I got grounded for a week for wandering off!” She pulled back and grabbed both of Lily’s hands. Come on! Let’s get you some clothes! You can be my own giant doll for a little while! I know all sorts of stuff I think will look super cute! You’ve got great skin! It’s so pale!” Andrea dragged her down to the front room and started pouring through the boxes pulling out socks and shoes and dress after dress babbling all the way. “I keep spending getting too much sun and then my freckles come out and I hate them but daddy says they point out all the spots he should kiss me. I don’t mind them so much then! Ohhhh… you have got to wear this! She grabbed a dress and shoved Lily into the bathroom. “Put it on! I wanna see if I’m right!”   
  
    Lily wrestled her way into the dress that had way too many ribbons for her to figure out how they all went  but when she thought she had it on right she stepped out feeling like a fool. Andrea on the other hand gasped and looked like her heart was about to explode with happiness. “IT’S PERFECT!” A few tugs and twists later where the sleeves were puffed and the ribions tied behind her in a series of bows that left their tails dangling behind the puffed out skirt that ended just over her knees had her agreeing. She loved it. She felt like a fairy princess in the light green concoction. Or maybe a cupcake she thought with a slight quirk of her lips. Andrea wasn’t done as she got matching socks that came up to just under the edge of the puffed skirt and white patent leather Mary Jane shoes to complete the look. Roughly a dozen more outfits were chosen and she fell more in love with each one. It wasn’t until Andrea’s stomach began to rumble that Lily realized how long the two of them had been at it.  
  
    “I’m sorry. Nana said we were gonna have lunch. Do you… wanna stay and have lunch with us?” Andrea’s smile was wide and so genuine Lily couldn’t help but smile more in return. She grabbed Andrea’s hand and pulled her into the kitchen.  
  
    “Nana? Can Andrea stay for lunch?” The hug she received threatened to suffocate her and when Jolene pulled back she was wiping tears out of her eyes.    
  
    “Yeah baby we were gonna go to the diner anyway. Come on, we can meet back up with Dominick.” Andrea squealed and jumped up and down several times before a few things were quickly gathered and the three ladies made their way down the street. It was the first time Lily had a chance to pay attention to the area around her and it was a surprising normal suburban sprawl only marred by a single house where a man hung from his ankles in a rather complicated harness out of a second story window. But Nana waved to the woman in the window who waved back and it appeared that nothing was out of place so she only walked a little closer. The diner was a whole new level of interesting.   
  
    There were booths and tables and low tables surrounded by cushions. There were men and women in leather others in denim and even a few in business clothes. There were men and women bound in various sundry methods and even a table with several who seemed to reflect the sort of youthful style she and Andrea were wearing. Others still dressed as various animals and displaying the corresponding traits such as a kitten girl lapping from a bowl on the floor and a dog boy under a table with his head gently laid on a woman’s lap. There had to be almost fifty people gathered around in here. But the most jarring part of all were the smiles.   
  
    Lily was used to diners were scowling customers shoved food hastily into their faces and kept to themselves before tossing down a few crumpled bills and stalking back to their lives. Here everyone smiled and joked even across the large dining room. Plates were passed between tables and sometimes carried all the way across to share a few bites with someone else. It was the near deafening cry of “JOLENE!” That had Lily rushing to hide behind her Nana.    Several people tried to get her to come and sit but she merely smiled and found them an empty booth and waived over the waitress.  
  
    “Hey can I get to Little Big meals. Sweetheart do you eat pork?” After a nod from Lily she turned back to the waitress. “With extra bacon on everything! Because bacon is proof god loves me. And I’ll have whatever smells so damn divine. Just tell the cook to surprise me.” The woman nodded without speaking a word and dipped into a curtsy. After the vigorous greeting Lily was almost afraid they were gonna be swamped with people trying to say hello but they seemed to keep a friendly distance.   
  
    Only one dared venture over. A man of seemingly middling years going grey around the temples wearing a jumper and clutching a teddy tightly. He approached cautiously and stopped a few feet shy of the table. Lily smiled confused but when Andrea waved he darted in close and reached out toward Lily with a closed fist. “I made you something.” Then his hand opened a bit and a braided bracelet dangled down. She remembered making them in grade school… “It’s a…”  
  
    “Friendship bracelet.” Lily finished her breath catching with something other than fear for the first time in a long time. He smiled bright enough to light the whole room and she reached out and took it.   
  
    “You’re new. I don’t know if you’re gonna stay but I like to give them to all the Littles. We gotta stick together you know. We’re special.” Lily tied the bracelet gently around her wrist. She couldn’t help but let those words echo in her head a moment butting up against the things that had so recently been seared there. ‘We’re special.’ Somehow it felt right to be included in that we.   
  
    The food arrived her and Andreas receiving a giant pile of bacon cheese fries a bacon cheeseburger a milkshake a side salad and a plate piled high with bacon strips causing Nana to laugh loud and open. But the best part of all was the little box with the bow on top like a tiny present that when torn open had a pile of  Legos to be added to the giant sculpture that the other littles were making. Nana promised she could add her legos when they were done eating. Nana was given a bowl of something unidentifiable over rice with a tall glass of milk. The three dug in and before long Dominick was making his way over.   
  
    The easy nature between him and Andrea was fascinating. He encouraging her to eat her salad first and stealing fries while she giggled. There was that pang in her chest again that she couldn’t understand watching them. “I see you got a friendship bracelet. You have been officially accepted. You are never going to get away from the little monsters now. Their going to want to all be your friends. You’re going to have so many friends you wont know what to do.” Lily just smiled and took another bite of her food as she silently wished there were oatmeal cookies without raisins waiting for her somewhere. But that was over. The doctor had already moved on. There was a new girl in his life. One who hadn’t run off and caused him so much trouble. But maybe there was still a place for her here anyway. Maybe Nana would let her stay and take care of her.   
  


* * *

  
  
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.  
Maya Angelou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys I intended to let this go a bit further but I got a call that I have to open the store in the morning. *Blarg* So next chapter we have meeting old friends with Nana and then after that… the Reunion! Poor Daddy still doesn’t know that his mother is in town much less that she’s stolen his little for some much needed TLC and explanation by example. But love and comfort is what Nana's are for! 
> 
> Oh yeah and I totally named her for this song because Daddy said I needed to name someone this and I was like... Whose the Baddest most beautiful bitch in this world... NANA!!! So this is now the cannon description of Jolene Blackstone back in the day when she was young and stole the heart of the most powerful man in the community.
> 
> https://youtu.be/qGEubdH8m0s


	12. Old Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXTRA LONG CHAPTER You guys are amazing… The amazing comments 103 Kudos and 3191 hits at the time of writing this. And 34 subscribers to the story 5 to my profile. You guys make me feel like I’m walking on freaking air! Yesterday at work when all your comments were pouring in I was smiling like a moron to the point my boss asked why I was so happy. Now because I love my fans and you guys are so amazing and I am SO not above Fan Service… JESUS IS BACK! You said you loved him so I brought him back early. Besides… Lily needed a friend. Nana’s protective nature surprised me. I was writing and she went “Hold up one minute missy… that’s the girl my little boy is in love with I am NOT ok with the new kid!” And I went “Yes Nana I’m sorry I’ll make sure I tell them. So here it is…

    After the food was finished and she had added her legos to the mass that was forming and slowly taking on a life of its own they hit the streets again. Every few shops Nana stopped in and spoke to people or purchased a few things. Everyone seemed to know her and had smiles and hugs. Most often though she spoke to the people who weren’t in charge. She would approach who ever seemed to be the Dominant and ask permission that was always granted before spending several minutes to speak to whomever followed along with them.  
  
    There were hugs and soft words and she heard the same things over and over again. They had missed her. They were glad she was back. They wanted to know how long she was staying. But every now and again they spoke of Him. They were worried for Him. They knew He missed her. He had a fight with the Sherriff and no one knew why. His friend had died. They were worried He was going to leave again and He had just gotten back. He sounded important and terrifying to Lily. Whoever this He was they spoke of Him with awe bordering on reverence. A man so grand they wouldn’t even speak a name. Lily began to think her new Nana must be pretty important to know such a man so closely.  
  
    It wasn’t until they reached The Home that the happy jovial nature of the town changed. It was a place of waiting it seemed. When they stepped in the doorways filled with men and women whose eyes alit with hope. Nana smiled sadly, “Sorry loves I’m just looking for Li is he around?” They nodded sadly and Lilly pulled close into her Nana.  
  
    “What is this place?” She whispered.  
  
    “This is where they come before they find someone to take them in. You see… It doesn’t always work that people find each other right off. When I was young I came to stay here several times in between finding different people. Do you want to find something to do? I’ve got to talk to an old friend and I’m not sure you want to be there. He can be… a little scary.”  
  
    Lily shook her head wildly. She would follow whoever her Nana went because nothing could be scarier than being left amongst the sad, lonely, waiting masses. They made their way to the back of the house and into a room in complete darkness. “Your sitting in the dark again Li…” There was a chuckle from the corner.  
  
    “Am I? Hadn’t noticed. You can turn the light on if you want.” Lily’s eyes were still adjusting but the dark was making her nervous and she clung to the doorway and the shaft of light it slanted into the room her breath coming shorter and shallower with every passing moment.  
  
    “I will when we leave but you’re going outside with us for a few minutes.” Jolene strode fearlessly into the dark. Slippered feet slid into view followed by long legs under a blanket. They were in a wheel chair. She wasn’t prepared for the youth or the lack of eyes. Lily gasped at the sight and his hand came up to his own face.  
  
    “Aw damn… I forgot again. I’m sorry I really am. I just don’t get many visitors. Jo can you grab me a bandana from the dresser.” Nana stepped back into the darkness again before reemerging with a red bandanna that the man wrapped over his face hiding the sunken lids from view. “Better? How do I look? Am I dashingly handsome now?”  
  
    With the initial shock over she actually began to take him in. His hair ebony and his cheeks sharp and fine. His skin a beautiful olive tone he was obviously from some eastern decent but where she did not know.  
  
    He looked like the wandering monk from her old story books when she was a child. Only so much younger. And with soft and breathless honesty she whispered. “Yes… you’re very handsome sir.” The corner of his mouth quirked up and he seemed to sit a bit straighter.  
  
    “Jo… did I just make a Little shit themselves. I might have to hold that one against you if I did. Now you have to take us all the way to the back gardens. Would you like to go to the gardens little one? I have something I’d like to show you to make up for… well… My face.” He held his hand out to her and she looked to Nana who gave her a small nod. Lily slid her hand into his and they began to move out through the building and into the back lawn with Nana pushing her friend and Lily walking beside holding his hand. They went in silence for a bit and meandered down a path where he would reach out and with careful hands brushed over flowers in bloom picking them carefully and handing them to her or placing them into his lap until they had what seamed to be an enormous pile. They then moved to a bench and he began weaving them together with deft hands.  
  
    “What’s your name little one?” He said working quickly twisting stems and braiding them into a flowered chain.  
  
    “Lily sir.” She said unable to tear her eyes from his work.  
  
    “That’s a beautiful name… Isn’t that the name of,” Nana cut him off with a hand over his mouth.  
  
    “Yes, It is. But she’s safe now. That’s actually why I came to speak to you. I needed your blessing for something.” With a final twist and tuck the chain of flowers came around into a circle and his hand reached out making gentle contact with her chin then traced up to place it atop her head.  
  
    “Oh! Is it really for me?” Suddenly her heart felt like a butterfly trapped in her chest beating gently and wildly spreading a gentle warmth that slid up her cheeks.  
  
    “It is indeed. Pretty girls should have pretty things! Do you think you could run up just to the window and ask someone for a glass of water. Jo will still be able to see you so I think you’ll be ok.” Li’s smile only grew but she looked to Nana who nodded and grinned.       
  
    “Thank you Lily that would be a huge help.” She watched as Lily ran off with the wild abandon of the young before turning back to Li. “Augustus had her. God knows how much of the time she was missing was in his care. But he fucking stole her Li. I need to make this stop.  I need to make sure he never hurts anyone else again. I can’t…”  
  
    This time it was Li’s turn to reach out and place a hand over Jolene’s mouth to silence her. “Jo, I know better than anyone. Look at me. There are days I wish I hadn’t made it. But days like today, I’m glad I did. What ever happened. Whatever he did to her she seems ok. And he didn’t have her long enough to let what happened to me repeat. Everything that fucker did. Everything he made me suffer. And everything,” He waved a hand up and down himself taking in his current state. “everything since. It needs to be over Jo. Do what you have to do. And tell Michael I said thank you, again.”  
  
    Jolene smiled and leaned in to kiss his forehead. “You’re a better man than me. To survive all that and then lose everything to an infection. I don’t think I could have ever truly recovered alone.”      
  
    “I wasn’t alone Jo. I had your son. You brought up an amazing boy and if I liked men I probably would have tried to find a way to stay with him.” He laughed openly then. “As it stands I’m here because he promised me they would never turn me out and I have no where else to go and I’ve not yet been given permission to die. That’s the thing I will remember most. When they were having to cut pieces away in an effort to save my life he stood over me and said. I absolutely forbid you to die. And somehow it was the only thing that kept me going. Now I have littles that lie to me and tell me I’m handsome. Make him afraid Jo. I want him to know fear as we did.”  
  
    Jolene squeezed his hand. “I’ll try. I’m going to see Apollo next. Would you like me to tell him anything?”  
  
    Li only laughed. “Yes you tell that giant scary mother fucker I am just fine and do not require being looked in on. Much less do I require being dragged about town to get some air. I most assuredly do not want him over here with his creepy carriage.” Half way through his rant about not wanting Apollo to come around Lily drifted back with his glass of water.  
  
    “Have I been out of the way long enough? Do I need to go do something else?” Jolene’s jaw dropped and Li laughed long and hard.  
  
    “Sweet heart we weren’t getting rid of you. He needed a glass of water…”  
  
    “Can it Jo… She’s not stupid.” Li cut in. “We were getting rid of you to discuss things that were none of your bees wax. But I’d still like that glass of water.” Jolene watched the tension bleed out of Lily as she handed him the water and carefully made sure he found the straw with his other hand. Jolene had no idea how a blind man could have seen so much. He had so quickly found his way into her heart and she had such a perfectly simple tender side. “Now… Take me back inside to sit in my dark room and waste away from neglect.” Jolene didn’t even have a chance to help push him back toward the house because Lily already had his chair moving toward the porch where she arranged him neatly just out of the sun. “Hey! What happened to my lonely dark room where no one ever comes to see me.”  
  
    Lilly frowned and her hands stilled on the edges of his chair. “It’s dark in there. I… I can’t… there are…”  
  
    Jolene wrapped arms around Lily and kissed her head. “You’re too pale. Get some sun. Besides it would do you good to talk to other people. We have to catch a ride out to the stables. But we’ll see you later Li. Please behave yourself. They stepped off the porch and had only just made it around the house before Lily was tackled to the ground. The two bodies rolled several times before they came to a stop. Jolene advanced on the little monster who had jumped on her ready to kill before realizing that Lily was in tears and clinging right back to the boy. They both spoke in broken sentences and kept hugging each other tighter and tighter. They knew each other. And the part of her that would always be a mother didn’t like it. This was the girl her son had fallen hard for and when she had sent him away she still clung to this silly little boy in a set of cat ears and a tail. The boy whose dirty little hands were in her hair and had rolled her pretty new dress into the mud and dirt. But she was sobbing and clinging to him and Jolene didn’t have the heart to stop them.  
  
    “You’re safe! And you cut off all your hair! And oh my god this dress! You look so good!”  
  
    “My Dress what are you wearing?”  
  
    “I’m a fox!”  
  
    “Your an idiot!”  
  
    “Yeah well you’re a girl!”  
  
    “Shut up or I swear I’ll punch you!”  
  
    “No you won’t! You looooove me!”  
  
    “OW OW OW OW LEGGO LEGGO!!!”  
  
    Jolene was forced to step in then and remove Lily’s hands from the death grip they had taken on the boy’s nipples. Whatever they were she doubted lovers was on the list.  
  
    “Sorry Nana.” Lily suddenly seemed to take stock of what she had done to her dress and began to stare at the ground.  
  
    “Sorry Ma’am.” The cat boy fetched Lily’s fallen flower crown and held it out gently.  
  
    “Lily… sweetheart… who is this?” The girl at least had the decency to look embarrassed as she pulled the boy forward by the elbow.  
  
    “Nana this is Jesus. He’s my best friend. And a horrible person who can’t say hello like a human being.” The two clung to each other like they were drowning at sea and for a moment she thought perhaps they might be. The community could be shocking when you first got here. And if what that deputy had told her was true. They had been tossed in without warning or permission.  
  
    “Well then… come along. We’re headed to the stables. You can come along.” And with that she herded the pair into a golf cart. She tried to pay close attention to the way they held to each other wanting to know what was there but not ready to push the girl and ask. But they just clung to each other like safety blankets and continued to throw childish barbs when they thought she wasn’t listening. It was Lily’s smile that settled her though. She could understand how this girl had stolen her son’s heart if he had ever seen that smile.  
  
    They passed out of the town proper and through a copse of trees that provided some shelter from the noise and bustle. They moved past a few empty fenced fields and toward a large house with an attached barn. It was so quiet at first Lily began to worry and wonder but when they got to the front door it faded away. There was a ruckus inside worthy of raising the dead. Jolene knocked several times before simply opening the door and walking in.  
  
    It was complete chaos. A mixed group of men and women in either blue or green were shouting and screaming staring at a TV on the wall. Lily stared in confusion as something important apparently happened and everyone wearing blue suddenly sat down while everyone in green  screamed shouted and threw popcorn and pillows at the others. Nana merely grabbed one of the celebrants. “Excuse me. Where’s Apollo?”  
  
    “Right mate he’s been havin a bad time of it. Try the stables or the east fields. FUKKIN GOAL BITCHES!” He barely spared her Nana enough time to answer her questions before turning back to his boasting. Nana just grabbed her hand and pulled her back out of the house.  
  
    “You have to forgive them darling they really do forget sometimes that their not animals. And whoever got them the international satellite sports package is out of their minds.” She shook her head as they strode toward the barn behind the house.  
  
    “Um… That would be Michael Ma’am The others were talking about it. He’s been getting the different houses things and we get to vote… The Home is still fighting about what we want. Well we’re voting repeatedly apparently. They never can get a majority.” Jesus was trying to keep Lily between him and the old scary lady but somehow felt she would be more mad if he didn’t answer what had felt like a question.  
  
    She only smiled out one side of her mouth as she pushed the door open to the barn and the younger two were struck silent. There were lines of Paddocks all empty with harnesses hanging in each one. Hooves and bits and tails all carefully cleaned were laid out in each one and each had a name plate. Lightning, Murdock, One For The Money, Hope, name after name more fit for horses than people and there at the end was a smallish woman just over five feet walking out of one holding a bucket full of brushes. “I’m sorry Miss the stables are closed. There’s a game on and their all watching. Madrid and Brazil I think… or something like that.”  
  
    “We’re actually here to speak to Apollo. I’d also like to borrow him for a while if he’s willing and up to it?” As they advanced Lily finally saw around the corner to the man inside. Strapped into a harness his hands hitched up before him he was a sight that left her speechless. He was well over six foot tall his skin a deep ebon that made him disappear into the shadows The smattering of hair across his chest was more white than black these days but he was as fit as a body builder. But what made him scary, the thing that left her heart catching and her breathing faltering were the scars. Her own hand went to the bruises across her abdomen and chest. She was familiar with the pattern. It was seared into the back of her eyes and rose every time she closed them. The young woman with the brushes leaned up and pressed a closed fist to his forehead and he heaved a deep sigh through his nose, then nodded. She removed the bit and he pressed his forehead into hers.  
  
    “I am thinking I know why Jolene is here Mistress. I will speak to her and then let you know if I shall wish to accompany her tonight.” His accent was deep and rolling and in Lily’s mind belonged to Olympic runners.  
  
    The woman he addressed as Mistress nodded. “Just be OK. I’m worried about you.” He graced her with a small sad smile before pressing a kiss to the top of her head before walking away giving the trio a warning look before stepping out.  
  
    Nana wasted no time in closing the distance and wrapping him in a hug he returned with equal fervor. “You going to be ok?”  
  
    ‘They say he took some girl Jolene. They say he stole her right out. We all thought she was just lost but he had her. I can not… He’s never going away is he? I thought he was gone.” The two just held each other for a moment before Nana stepped back and waved Lily over.  
  
    “Apollo I’d like you to meet Lily. Lily this is Apollo Finest steed in the world and he knows exactly how you feel right now.” Lily watched as a change came over the man. It was like a ripple that spread from his head all the way down as he came to crouch at her level and offer her one giant hand.  
  
    “Miss Lily I am very pleased to meet you. I want you to know something. He was wrong. Everything he ever told you he was wrong.” Lily stepped forward past his hand and wrapped arms around his neck. In return he enclosed her in the biggest hug she had ever known.  
  
    “But he wasn’t wrong. I’ve always known and he just reminded me. It’s easier to know the truth right?” A giant hand cupped each side of her face and pulled her to look  
him dead in his eyes.  
  
    “No. You doubted you did not know. He is the devil young lady. He will lie and he will try to make you believe him and you say, No. He kept me for six years. He told me I was nothing. I had nothing to offer. But we are the strong and he is the weak. He does not have the power to make you say yes. You and only you have the power to say yes or no. You say no. You say I am good and I am wonderful and someone loves me. You go home and you kiss the one who loves you. You kiss them well and know not with you mind but with you heart that they love you too. Yes? When they kiss you. You know.” Lily frowned and shook gently.  
  
    “But he’s never kissed me. Not like the others kiss. And he found someone new. I’m not good enough any more.” Lily froze as Apollo stood in one swift motion and lifted her with him using an arm under her bottom to let her sit as he turned to Nana and Jesus. “We will go now. We will make right for her what she can not see.” Lily hid her tears into his shoulder knowing deep down it wasn’t going to turn out the way he wanted.  
  
    “Come… we will take the carriage. It is faster.” Lily didn’t see Jolene’s smile but didn’t miss the quiet words.  
  
    “We’re about to go fix things for the both of you love. I’ve already spoken to Li. And if you’ll agree I’m going to fix everything.” Lily was set gently into the back of a small black Carriage that resembled a Rickshaw. Nana helped Jesus in beside her and helped Apollo attach the straps and hooks into the harness that he wore. A horse drawn carriage all their own. When they set off down the path Lily knew what he meant when he said it was faster. The golf cart topped out at a rather low speed but in the carriage the world flashed quickly by as the sun dipped slowly below the horizon bringing yet another day to a close. Lily just wanted to go home and crawl into her pink bed and have the Doctor kiss her good night and read her a story. Maybe Nana would read to her tonight. She could ask.  
  


* * *

  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
    “Can you just give it to her. I’ll wait if she doesn’t want it I’ll take it back but she was pretty attached to it. I’m not fucking asking to see her so why are you being so difficult. It’s like the lot of you are setting out to piss me off today.” Michael Blackstone glared at the cowering young man who couldn’t come up with any sort of reasonable answer why he wouldn’t just give Lily the god dammed bunny. The past two days had worn him paper thin. He’d been forced to treat the monster that he had long ago banned from approaching subs since he couldn’t throw him out completely seeing how much damage he could do to their world with a few well placed words. Under his father and grandfather taking people unwillingly had been common. That was one of the first things he had put an end to. He claimed if they believed in the system people would agree to come willingly. If they were truly being saved they would have nothing to lose by signing a contract and accepting their roles with out argument. But there were still some here that were listed as missing. And it made each and every person in the Community a Felon. He knew deep inside taking Lily as he had was not the way he wanted to do things but he was so afraid she’d never come back. That she would die out there from malnutrition or exposure or the inevitable violence of someone who lived the life she had been in. He didn’t have the time to convince her and she needed help immediately. But then Augustus Powers had happened. A man who had come from old money and had bought his way in as a man of eighteen in the last years of his grandfathers stewardship. He was the sort of man that Michal tried to keep out at all costs. He harbored a need to reduce another in order to elevate himself. But Michael was a doctor first and foremost. He could kill the man after he was well.  
  
    “She’s not here.” The voice came from behind him and Michaels hand clenched into a fist before forcing it to release the strangle he had on the plushie. Turning he met James eye to eye.  
  
    “Where is she James.” It wasn’t a question. It was an order. Despite the lack of sleep and the obvious drinking he hadn’t lost a bit of his authority and strength. That at least was one thing.  
  
    “She was moved to a home with someone to help care for her. She’s not doing well and said specifically she didn’t want to go back with you. You know you lost all rights to have anything to say about it the moment you broke your own rules.” James was trying to keep Michael at bay long enough for everything to sort itself out. His mother had always been a voice of reason that balanced his father and their son was the best of both of them. Right now though he was completely irrational when it came to that girl. For his own good they needed to be separated. Michael calmly pulled out his phone and dialed.  
  
    “Cheryl! Hey, do me a favor. You know that cabin I have out in the woods. Yeah that one. Can you send up a plane to the airstrip. I know it’s kind of last minute but I haven’t been to Paris in a while and I was just missing my mother.  No I’ll make my own arrangements for that leg I just need a plane as far as Nova Scotia. I’m thinking of sailing. I’ll get back to you. Ok thanks!” James heart stopped as his old friend hung up the phone and smiled without an ounce of warmth. “Kay thanks bye James!”  
  
    “Michael you can’t fucking leave. We’ve got an entire town of panicked subs because Powers is back. We’re putting him on trial as soon as he’s well enough to stand for snatching Lily and you’re the only fucking doctor for three hundred miles!” James was doing a piss poor job of hiding the rising panic. He needed to let the girl go before he ruined them all. But his old friend the man he had watched grow from a lanky teen to the linchpin of the delicate balance they held here was already gone. James was slammed into the wall Michael’s fists balled into his shirt front.  
  
    “Lest you forget who I am I can do any god damned thing I want. I will not stand here and watch you shove her off on someone. I will not stay here and watch her out with someone else. I am not generous and I will not stay and graciously watch as she runs off with someone who will see her as a fucking feather in his cap. Now you will stop telling me what I will or will not do. I am not one of your little deputies that need you to whip my ass to gain forgiveness for my failures. I accept the situation but I will not stand here and watch it. You will never speak to me again or I know a War Crimes Tribunal who would like a fucking word with you.” And with that he pushed out of the office leaving the two deputies staring on in shock.  
  
    “Someone get Daniel. Tell him to track down Jolene Blackstone and inform her that her son just went def-con 5.”  
  


* * *

  
  
You stepped with a heavy tread,  
And left your mark  
Your mark on me  
  
The space you used to fill it’s now this great black hole  
You’re out of sight but not out of my mind  
And it hurts like hell  
To be torn apart  
And it hurts like hell  
To be thrown around  
~Bastille

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Daddy... He's having such a hard day. He tries really hard to be a good person but even he isn't strong enough to watch Lily be happy with someone else. He is willing to let go enough to let her go. But there will never be another girl for him. And don't worry... I won't let him leave...
> 
> On the note of Li he was the result of a challenge by Daddy. Both to have someplace for Subs who don’t have someone to call their own yet. The waiting place like in Oh the Places You’ll Go! And it’s actually the saddest thing in the world to me. But more importantly he wanted to see a disAbled character and someone with out eyes, like the Miraluka in Star Wars. Bet he didn’t expect it to be two in one. So here’s the explanation. Li was the last straw. Abuses were one thing but he nearly killed the young Japanese man. Augustus had brought a tool from some far from place in the world and hadn’t properly cleaned it… and infected him with a flesh eating bacteria. In an attempt to save his life they surgically removed the most infected parts. Eyes included in order to keep it from spreading into his brain. Li is important because his spirit is something that will never be dimmed. He is my sunshine. I myself suffer from Bi-Polar disorder and he is the personification of my trying to stay positive and healthy through hard and terrible times. 
> 
> And Apollo, that great big beautiful Kenyan God of Pony Play and Vengeance. Apollo was brought to the compound by Powers years ago and was in his service for Six Fucking Years. It took a while for anyone else to see past the intimating size and scars but the girl who did despite being 40 years his junior will cut a bitch over him. Now Jo has her own reasons for being so bent out of shape but she had to go see everyone who had reasons to hate him and make sure she had their permission for making him pay. It’s not a decision she felt she could make on her own. She needed the dispensation of the other remaining victims. Now… if you head on over to sightsoblind.tumblr.com you might learn a teeny tiny secret… Ok so it’s kinda big… But its one of those facts that I don’t know when it will make it into the story…


	13. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 13 That does not bode well for someone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me this far. Thank you for loving it as much as I love writing it. At long last after so much pain and so many problems Daddy gets his Lily back. But how will it go? She has so many doubts and fears still…  
> Don’t forget to join me at sightsoblind.tumblr.com for notifications and extra bits. If you don’t subscribe or don’t have an account follow me on Tumblr for the chapter update notifications as well. TUMBLR is 100% SFW

     
    It had been a very long very busy day. She hadn’t slept well in days. So really when she started to fall asleep with the gentle rock of the carriage no one should have been surprised. A quick check of the house told them that Michael was not home. He’d left doors just hanging open all over and while being robbed was hardly a danger here it was very unlike him. Jolene began to worry in earnest when there were nothing but take out containers half eaten and the milk in the fridge had gone off yesterday. He had left clothes on his floor and maps from the search strewn across the table. And a half finished bottle of Glen McKenna sat beside his chair with no glass in sight. The only thing still in perfect order was Lily’s room. There was a nightlight with a small bow on it sitting in the middle of her pillow. Her bed had been neatly made and everything was put up perfectly. What little she knew of the girl she was already sure that was not how the young woman would have left it.  
  
    Most importantly there was no sign of another little in the house. She slid back downstairs and out. There was only one occupied bed and it was separated by a screen. Thank god for small miracles. Jesus had darted off to the swing set that was a new addition to the yard from the last time she had been there. And Apollo just stood over the sleeping Lily like a sentinel of old he could have been carved from stone for how little he moved.  
  
    “He’s in there but Michael is no where to be found.” Apollo nodded once gently.  
  
    “There comes a time when you must chose between turning the page or closing the book Jolene Carter Blackstone. I will be sure you are not disturbed. We will wait here. But chose.” Apollo reached for Lily and scooped her into his arms walking back toward where her friend was trying to occupy himself and she slid back in to the clinic. The only thing she needed wasn’t secured and she picked it up out of a drawer on her way. When she slid behind the curtain and into the waiting chair he was awake and lifted a brow looking at her.  
  
    “Do you remember me? No I suppose you wouldn’t it was such a small thing to you.” She folded her hands into her lap.  
  
    “You were Alexander’s little whore weren’t you? Put on some airs didn’t you bitch.” His words still made her wince.  
  
    “Yes I was his wife. He married me properly and we said our vows in the church and we made a family together and I loved him and gave him a submission you will never know because you don’t bother to try and earn it. But what I was talking about was the night in Vegas. You had gotten a private dance and paid the bouncer quite a lot of money to just go away. I have never forgotten the two hours before you were interrupted and Alex decided to bring me back with you. I have watched again and again as one after another you hurt good people. Did you know only four of us are left. Lily, Myself, Apollo and Li. You had a good seventy percent suicide rate for those whose lives you touched. You made us feel like nothing.”  
  
    “You are nothing you stupid whore. When I get out of here I am going to tear your world down. There’s not much that little bitch you gave birth to will let them do to me. Sooner or later someone will wonder where I went and it will all come crashing down when I spill everything.”  
  
    “Actually it’s not. They will find your body but no one will ever be able to answer what happened. The report of your mugging already went out and that you were recovering in a private facility. They will turn over your body to what is left of your family and they will weep but no one will ever know what happened.”  
  
    “What the fuck are you talking about you stupid whore?” She lifted the needle and held it before him still in its sanitary packaging. “That’s it? You’ve got nothing to actually kill me with?”  
  
    “Actually I am going to kill you with nothing. I want to show you how much nothing can do. I want you to know that very thing that you made us believe is the thing that killed you.” She unwrapped the needle and pulled air into it before slipping it into his IV. “There’s a reason they are so very careful about air in your IVs and injections. One little bubble will kill you. It will get into your heart or your brain and destroy it. Or into your lungs. Michael is the only doctor around and he’s about to be very distracted. No one will notice.” She turned the volume off on all of his monitors and smiled. “Oh… and I have no idea how long that might take so… Good luck calling for help. It doesn’t sound like you can get much louder than a whisper.”  


* * *

  
It was my duty to shoot the enemy, and I don't regret it. My regrets are for the people I couldn't save: Marines, soldiers, buddies. I'm not naive, and I don't romanticize war. The worst moments of my life have come as a SEAL. But I can stand before God with a clear conscience about doing my job.  
~Chris Kyle  


* * *

  
  
MEANWHILE  
  
    He was too drunk to drive when he had set out earlier and had spent some time wandering the streets he had grown up in. Now the sun was almost fully set and he had to gather some of his personal effects before he got on the plane tomorrow. He still had no idea where he would go. Not that it mattered over much the company that funded his lifestyle wasn’t about to go under anytime soon. He could spend six years seeing the world and never put a dent in the money that was supposed to be for his personal use. Maybe he’d go to Africa and be a doctor. Somewhere no one had that pale skin and bright beautiful eyes to stare up at him. Somewhere he could forget how quickly she’d taken over his heart.

    There was an empty Pony Cart beside the house and he heaved a sigh. He really hoped it was as simple as a sprained ankle and not another broken nose. Perhaps the sports package hadn’t been the best idea after all if it was going to keep leading to fist fights. But when he came around the house toward the clinic entrance he saw them. Jesus hung upside down from the monkey bars and Apollo held a girl with short dark hair and a green dress. She was tucked up head on his shoulder and his heart began to pound. If there had been an accident at the stables and one of the Littles had gotten hurt he would never forgive himself for wandering about without his proper phone. The one that still lay in pieces in his living room.  
  
    He approached slowly and in a large arc to the side having learned long ago not to startle the large man. He had been a good friend of his mothers in her years here and he had a great respect for the man. At least whoever had taken her in had introduced her to someone who had survived Augustus’ attentions with minimal mental issues. He knew the moment Apollo had spotted him because he turned and leaned down toward the girl in his arms. He woke her gently and whispered something in her ear. Michael’s heart stopped for just a moment as she turned toward him. Her eyes were huge and her posture stiff as Apollo lowered her to the ground then gave her a small push forward. He watched as she ran toward him and the clinical part of his mind noted the tender way she stepped and how she favored one side but she was up and moving. There didn’t seem to be any permanent damage. But all of that went away as she caught her foot on a rock just a foot away from him and she began to fall her arms out wildly. And all clinical detachment fled as he saw his Lily falling.  


* * *

  
  
You can't blame gravity for falling in love.  
~Albert Einstein  


* * *

  
  
    The ground was coming at her face. She was about as cute and graceful as a bull in a china shop. In her dirtied dress she probably looked just as attractive. She hadn’t thought when Apollo told her to run to him. To get the kiss that would tell her the truth but now she was and the whole thing was a great big stupid idea.  
  
    And then he caught her. He was warm and smelled of soap and the leather couch and just a bit like whiskey. He pulled her back up and held her carefully his hands exactly as she remembered them every time before checking her for injury. He hadn’t changed. He was exactly as she remembered him no matter how much she had changed in the last few days. “I’m sorry.” She whispered before her throat closed and the rest of her followed the commands of her heart ignoring the screaming of her brain. She pushed forward past the careful distance he was keeping and wrapped her arms around him. Her lips crashed over his and her teeth jammed into the back of her lips her nose bending as it hit his cheek.  
  
    If one was to judge a kiss by its first moments that kiss would have fallen into a category of one to be forgotten and never spoken of again. But luckily for Lily first impressions were not all there was to life. His arms closed around her and crushed her into his chest. His head turned and his lips parted and he kissed her gently and deeply until if asked she would have forgotten her own name. They stayed like that for what felt like hours just holding and kissing as she learned to breathe through her nose rather than be separated from him. Only murmurs of ‘I’m sorry’ were spoken by both parties as they held and kissed and forgot the world.  


* * *

  
  
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.  
~Audrey Hepburn  


* * *

  
  
    “Whoa,” Jesus dropped from his perch hanging from the monkey bars. And just stared.  
  
    Jolene stepped over from where she had just exited the house and stood beside Apollo. “Do you think she missed him?”  
  
    Apollo just laughed. “Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.”  
  
    Jolene looked up at her friend in puzzlement. “Isn’t that from The Princess Bride?”  
  
    “It is. I am large. And I am old. But I am not stupid. I know many things. Just as I know that you did not make it out of the church before you were consummating your marriage. Do not forget I was there Miss Jolene. I saw you kiss a man like that once too.” He laughed as she slapped his arm and turned bright red. The trio just turned to watch the reunion of two people who might just make it after all.  
  
  
  
  



	14. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sorry this took so long life got in the way first I want to give a huge shout out and thank you to Hatsepsut for beta reading and fixing my TERRIBLE lack of punctuation  
> Let's go eat Grandma!  
> NO BAD Punctuation saves lives  
> Let's go eat, Grandma!  
> Also a huge shout out to Ivory White who kicked me in the tush and reminded me to finish and post this! So... here you are....

After a few moments the pair parted just enough to hold each other and try and drink in all of the subtle changes the never ending days had brought.

   “I like your hair” He whispered softly, afraid to break the spell that had her clinging to him.

   She blushed and ducked her head. “Nana cut it… I’ve never had it this short before.”

   Jolene crossed the small distance between where she had stood as an onlooker and placed a hand gently on Lily’s head. “I think… it’s time for a family meeting. Apollo, can you take the kitty back to The Home?” Lily pulled away from him slowly and stepped back toward Nana, taking her hand. Michael watched helplessly as his own mother walked away with his girl and tore his heart out with every step. After a moment he went after them.

 

* * *

 

After every storm, there is a rainbow. If you have eyes, you will find it. If you have wisdom, you will create it. If you have love for yourself and others, you won’t need it.

~ Shannon L. Alder

* * *

 

 

   Michael made his way back into the house; he paused going through the clinic and stared at the screen that hid his patient from view and just for a moment got lost in his memories.

 

   “That was a beating, Boy… he didn’t fight back and you didn’t stop or do anything other than hit him because you were angry. He didn’t do anything to you. You’re just pissed off and you have every right to be, but don’t you ever EVER take it out on someone who won’t fight back again do you hear me? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME? YOU RESPOND WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU!” The strike came next, the one Michael had grown to expect. Sharp and down following through until it had him sprawled on the floor, his head ringing. It was the antiseptic smell that he always remembered from that day. The way the little clinic was always perfectly clean.

   “Sorry, sir.” He couldn’t help the anger bubbling up inside of him. He was tired of being his father’s punching bag- it hadn’t been his fault if the man wouldn’t hit him back. The doctor stepped into the waiting room and gave his father a nod. “Excuse me, sir, can I borrow the boy for a moment. I’d like to show him a few things. I think he might benefit of a deeper understanding of the ramifications of his actions today.” Michael watched his father nod  and walk out leaving him with the doctor.

   He went back and saw the young man with the broken nose and split lip sitting with a bag of ice on his face but this wasn’t where he was being led. He was taken further back as the man talked. “Do you know why you never strike one of the submissives in anger? Because most of them will never think to hit you back. They won’t stop you and they won't hit you they will simply trust you to stop. You broke that trust.” Whatever Michael had been expecting when they reached the back and he pulled back the curtain the woman with blue lips and wide empty eyes was not it. “There was a man who didn’t stop. He didn’t pay any attention to that moment when they need you to stop. You’re a strong boy. I’ve seen you take everything your father dishes at you but they are not strong like you are. They have a moment when you need to stop all on your own without needing them to ask.”

   He couldn’t stop staring at the dead girl. She was branded into his mind that day for the rest of eternity along with the lessons he was being taught. “What happened? Did someone kill her? You can’t do that! Father says it messes up the whole system when you start treating stock like that!”

   “First son they’re not stock they’re people. They are people that have been entrusted to your care and keeping and if you ever want to be a better man than your father you will not forget that. Secondly.” He paused and took a deep breath before shifting the sheet down and revealing the deep bruising. “She intentionally used her own collar to hang herself. Someone pushed so hard because it wasn’t about anything more than pain and anger that she killed herself. Only you can make yourself a better man. Now, if you like, you can stay as long as you wish and help out around here. You can even come back any time.”

 

   Many years later he would find her name and what happened. He would need to know if the story he’d based his life on was truth or fiction and would find a trail of bodies left behind by the man currently in his hospital bed. Most of the suicides occurred after he had cast them aside. He left people so broken they couldn’t be fixed. And he’d had his hands on Lily. He looked down at his shaking hands and walked right on past. Unwilling and unable to try and treat him in his current state of anger, he stalked past and up the stairs without ever peeking behind the curtain.

 

 

* * *

 

To run away from trouble is a form of cowardice and, while it is true that the suicide braves death, he does it not for some noble object but to escape some ill.

~Aristotle

 

 

* * *

 

   Once back upstairs he looked about at the disaster of his home and winced that his mother had seen it like that. He could hear them chattering on in the kitchen going on about bacon and dresses but something about Lily’s voice sounded off enough to worry him. He stepped to just around the doorway and watched as his mother was fixing dinner while Lily had her head on the table buried in her arms, trying to answer through yawns.

   “Mom… Just in case you didn’t notice. She’s falling out. The family meeting can wait till morning.” He watched his mother ignore him and continue chopping vegetables apparently preparing something more complicated than fast. It wasn’t surprising considering his entire life his mother had never made anything but full complete home cooked meals. What was surprising was Lily’s sudden jumping up.

   “I am not! I was just… sitting.” But even that was unconvincing as she began to lean into the wall. “We can stay. We don’t have to go. I’m good. I promise.” She looked on the verge of tears once more, swaying, fighting to keep her eyes open. It was tearing him apart inside watching her fighting, afraid she was going to have to leave. So recently she had wanted nothing more than out of the house.

   “Mikey, why don’t you take her for a bath before dinner. Then you can change her into her jammies and we can go from there deciding what we want to do tonight. But it’s best if she eats, I think.” Michael stepped forward and caught her up into his arms before her legs gave out. But her words had him suddenly realizing… they had both assumed two different things. She thought she was going to have to leave and he was sure she had come home to stay. He wasn’t willing to push either possibility tonight.

   “Mom, you stay in the master bedroom tonight. I’ll take the couch. We can all talk first thing in the morning. Over waffles, even.”

   “And Bacon?” Came the soft gentle pleading from where her face was buried in his chest and for a moment he wondered if his mother had said something about the bacon.

   “Yeah baby, we can have bacon if you want.” He shot a glare at his mother's back but from the laughter muffled behind her hand he was almost sure she hadn’t explained the significance of bacon in his house growing up. He bent and scooped her up letting her nestle into his chest. “Mom, Dinner ready in an hour and a half?” He waited for the nod and carried her down the hall, kicking the dirty towels back behind the toilet before setting her down gently. He started pulling at all the ribbons and bows and smiled softly. It was like unwrapping a present.  That’s why Andrea had loved them so much. There was so much involved in getting them on and off. But he carefully put it aside and helped her into the tub. He started the water running and began searching for anything other than men’s or baby shampoo, not wanting to upset her any further.

   “What’s her name?” Came the soft question from behind him and without thinking he replied.

   “Uh, Jolene. I’ve got the Johnson’s Lavender and the No More Tears or I’ve got Dove for Men. Which one do you want?” He held the bottles out to her

 

 

* * *

 

   There was finally a name to the idea of the girl who had already replaced her but Lily didn’t think it would hurt so bad and she sunk deeper into the tub. “The purple ones fine. Like Nana?” She watched him smile as he moved back over and set it on the edge of the tub before sitting back onto the toilet, moving back away from her again.

   “I like her too, sweetheart.” Was the only response she got causing her heart to drop even further.

   “Is she pretty?” She  whispered almost not wanting an answer but needing it. She needed to know if it was really over.

   He laughed “That’s what people say… Do you need a hand or do you want me to go?”  He was doing that thing again where he changed the subject when he didn’t want to talk about things and she didn’t have the strength to try to push again.

   “You can go… I can do it.” She wondered for a moment if you could actually feel your heart break as he stepped out of the bathroom leaving the door open only a crack. When the tub filled she turned the faucet off and pulled her head under, letting the water wash away the tears.

 

 

* * *

 

   Back in the hall Michael tried to breathe. He wanted to give her the space she seemed to need and the little bit of independence she had fought so hard for, terrified to drive her away, but all he wanted was to grab her and hold her and never let her go. He’d have to find time to talk to Margaret about the whole thing and get Lily to sit down with her as well but for now he was going to try to give her the space she had demanded and he’d ignored. He knew every moment he had gone wrong. He could see in stark detail every mistake he had made and was going to do it right this time. Lily had managed to fill his head with nothing except thoughts of her until all he could think of was losing himself in her and creating a perfect little bubble around her to keep her safe.

   He wandered back into the living room to begin cleaning anything to keep himself from walking back in there and making sure she was ok. She was covered in deep bruises but nothing that looked like it was deeper than muscle damage. She’d be sore and need to take it easy for a bit but she’d recover… physically at least. He had never dealt with the mental fallout before but the sheer number of people Powers had got his claws into that didn’t feel that life was worth living after had him scared. He stepped into the kitchen to pull the trash and take it out when his mother startled and stared at him.

   “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you with Lily? I thought you were giving her a bath?” Her near panic had him bristling.

   “Mom I’m just trying to give her some space. I think she’s earned a little after everything she went through trying to get it. You need to stop meddling in my life.” His hands clenched at his sides trying to push down his anger at her tampering.

   “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Mikey! Powers just had his claws in her, don’t leave her alone!” She shoved past him, leaving dinner on the stove and tore down the hall. He tried to breathe and get a hold on his temper. She was fine- it was just a bath, it wasn’t like… His mother screaming her name and the splash had him tearing his way down the hall. There shouldn’t have been anything she could hurt herself with in there. But when he hit the doorway she was gasping for breath on the floor and water was everywhere.

   “And she’s pretty and he likes her and I just… I can’t… I just can’t lose him Nana… everyone goes away… and he was right- he was right about everything -I’m r..ruined, and he’s never gonna love me because I’m a terrible person and I don’t deserve to be here -I should have just died out there where I wouldn’t bother anybody.” He stood there watching her shake and his whole body went rigid.

   “Mom, can you leave us alone for a minute? I think Lily and I need to talk.” His mother glared at him over Lily’s head, rocking her back and forth on the floor.

   “Like fucking hell I will! You just left her in here and she tried to drown herself in her bath because you…”

   “JOLENE! Get the hell out of the bathroom! Go back to the fucking kitchen and finish dinner. This is none of your business. This is between me and Lily. Do not think for a moment I will not put you back in your place. This has nothing to do with you, now get… the fuck… out… You have done more than enough for one day. We will talk later.”

 

 

* * *

 

   She winced back as Nana fled the room. The last time he’d even remotely gotten angry she’d been tossed in the time out room. But when he reached down and scooped her up in a towel he was gentle and tender. He pushed her hair back out of her face and  was mindful of her bruises. He carried her across the hall into another bedroom. It was very brown with natural wood, a dark brown carpet and bedding. He slid her onto the bed and tucked in beside her pulling her into his chest and dragged the blankets up over them. His hands made small circles on her bare back and he occasionally placed small kisses on her head.  It was warm and soft and so sweet and the smell of him surrounded her. It was so quiet and safe that after a few minutes her shakes subsided to nothing more than the occasional sniffle.

   “Lily… we need to talk about what happened. Because everything that just happened… That’s not ok… Do you remember a promise I made you? I promised I would never abandon you so I’d like you to tell me what’s going on. Can you do that?” His voice was soft as he spoke against her hair and she moved closer into him wanting to never let go.

   “I was bad.” She half-whined, half-whispered into his chest and he couldn’t exactly argue.

   “Running into the woods was not the best idea anyone has ever had. But there’s plenty of time to talk about that later. What were you talking about in the bathroom.” It wasn’t a question. She suddenly had the impression he knew exactly what she had said and was simply making her repeat it.

   “You like her better because she wasn’t bad.” She sniffled and pushed her face into the base of his neck.

   “She’s my mother. I guarantee I don’t like her better. In fact I don’t think I like anyone better than I like you silly girl. Now what else.” Lily pushed back to stare in his eyes he was making fun of her and she wasn’t having it.

   “Not Nana, the new girl. The one you replaced me with after I left. Because I ran and I didn’t know what I was doing and I acted bad and…”  His jaw had gone slack and she trailed off staring at him wondering what  she had said before his voice came out slow and measured so even and empty it scared her.

   “Lily… who told you I replaced you…”

   “He… he did… the man from… the place… who…” She was cut off by his mouth over hers once more as he crushed her into him, his hands tangling into her short wet hair, his kiss growing deeper and hungrier with each passing second.

   “Lily, you need to stop believing anything he said. I turned this entire town upside down with everyone looking for you. They found Mister Squishy and there was blood and I thought you died. It killed me. Then when you didn’t want to see me and James the Sherriff told me he sent you home with someone else and I wasn’t ever going to get to see you again I was going to leave because I can’t be here and not be with you. You are it. You are… everything to me.” He pulled her closer against her and kissed her again- kissed her until her head spun and she clung to him as her world narrowed to the way his lips and tongue clashed with hers.

   She bit his lip gently and he smiled against her and shifted slightly when she realized he was hard against her. It was a familiar thing. It had happened enough in her life when someone had something she needed or wanted and she had something they wanted. But this time it wasn’t easy to walk away. She would rather die than be asked to leave and she shifted harder into him sliding her leg up and around his hip. He moaned gently, deep and low in his throat, and his hand moved from her back to her side trailing up her ribs to run a thumb just under her breast sending delicious shivers up through her.

   “You can fuck me if you want…” She whispered gently voice trailing off at the end. It was the boldest she had ever been in the entirety of her life and it had caused him to still completely. She wasn’t sure what was supposed to come next but her limited knowledge seemed to indicate there should have been movement involved.

   He pulled back completely and she thought she had completely misread the entire situation. “Lily… I… God dammit. Lily I had… a bit… to drink today. Is this what you want? Because fuck… I can’t… I can’t do this if it’s not what you want.” She tried to press closer but he held her back firmly.

   “But it’s what you want… I can feel it.” She reached out with one hand and trailed it across the bulge in his pants causing him to draw a hissing breath in. “I want to make you happy. I want you to be happy with me.”

   “Oh God, Babygirl. Believe me. If this is what you wanted… If you actually wanted this, I would gladly oblige. But I won’t touch you if it’s not what you want. Even if you never want it. It’s rape Lily. When you don’t want someone to touch you and they do. Even if you aren’t stopping them. If you don’t want them touching you, it’s rape.” His hands settled to either side of her face watching her eyes brim over with tears. Gentle thumbs reached up and wiped them away before he kissed her forehead. “Baby, I don’t know or care who hurt you or gave you crazy ideas about sex. You are perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to do that. You don’t need to offer yourself up like that. I won’t love you any less.”

   He reached over their heads and grabbed a pillow shoving it in front of his pelvis before turning her gently and pulling her back into him so her back was to his front. “I want this to be your home forever. I want you to stay with me always-no matter what. Even if you don’t want to be with me, I want to keep taking care of you. You make me crazy in only the best way.” She snuggled deeper into him and tried to let her eyes drift closed. Something had her tensed and unable to relax though so she kept talking.

   “Why does Nana call you Mikey?”

   “Mmm.... That’s my first name, sweetheart. Michael Alexander David Blackstone. Named for my father and grandfather before me and one name all my own. Not quite so pretty as Lily, though.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her head. “Try and get some sleep; Nana will wake us up for dinner.”

   It wasn’t long before his breaths were long and even behind her but there was a vibration under her skin that demanded to be answered. She could feel the heat racing through her and it had a single source that each brush of his hand over her side brought back as she breathed in.

   Carefully she gripped his wrist and slid it lower. Inch by inch to that place that demanded attention. Much to her relief his hands knew exactly what they were doing when they reached the junction between her thighs. 

   One long middle finger slid from front to back parting her outer lips that blossomed before his fingers like a flower opening to the sun. Back and forth it traced several times, making a small loop each time he hit the apex, circling her clit. After a few minutes of this gentle attention her ears were ringing and she pushed up into his hand causing his finger to slip inside just barely and she gasped as his finger curled up and in. Painfully, slowly his finger moved with the gentle cadence of his breath on the back of her head and his hips rolled behind her against the pillow between them, in time with the frantic beat of her heart as heat rose up to engulf her.. A tiny moan escaped her lips as it built ever more, became even more delicious, pushing her higher toward something that she knew she wanted but had no name for, or any idea how to reach. When his hand slipped deeper she cried out before she could bite it back and for a second time that night he stilled completely.

   “Shit…” her heart clenched with the muttered oath behind her and out of instinct her legs clamped around his hand stopping him from moving. “Lily… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I’m just gonna…”

   It took every ounce of her courage and it came out so quiet she barely heard herself speak. “Rule Three… I’m invoking rule three…”

   “Lily, Baby, it doesn’t work like that. What do you want?” To her utter joy his hand began to move again curling gently and wonderfully inside of her.

   “That… all of… ohhhh god. Please… I just… don’t stop, please, I didn’t want to wake you but please, please, don’t stop. I just… please…” She didn’t mean to whimper and whine. She definitely didn’t mean to cry.

   Michael kissed her tears and rolled her gently to her back, “Shhh... just let me take care of you. Ok?” He peppered kisses down her jaw and over her neck. His lips traced lines down over her breasts, pulling each of her nipples between his teeth before releasing them with a soothing swipe of his tongue. His mouth trailed lower, kissing gently over the bruises and fading lines that crossed her midsection. Gently letting his tongue dip into her navel, he smiled as it pulled a small moan from her. His touch always feather light over her tender flesh, careful of her healing injuries but more concerned for her tender and broken heart. His kisses over her hips tried to convey his need to impart how precious and beautiful she was to him and as his mouth closed over her he was rewarded with a small breathy gasp. His lips and tongue worked in tandem, telling her he loved her into her most private of places. He whispered it against her lips and wrote it with his tongue driving his point home with each new gasp he pulled from her. He didn’t stop even as she arched off of the bed crying in wordless pleasure. He pulled every last gasp and cry from her lips until she lay there shaking trying to find her breath once more. Carefully so as not to let her see the now painful bulge in his pants, he slid up beside her.

   “Feel better baby?” His only response was her tugging him down to claim his mouth in a soft and gentle kiss.

   “Is it always like that? Is it always like your world explodes and gets put back together better?” She was struggling to keep her eyes open again as she had in the kitchen. This was too important though. Such things and feelings had terrified her across her life; never had she been told it might be like this. He wasn’t helping much as he combed her hair back with his fingers and pulled the blankets up around her once more, tucking her gently into the warmth.

   “It can be. When you care about the person a whole lot. It can be special and wonderful. Why don’t you try and nap now. When you wake up we’ll get you dinner, and a story, and bed ok?” Her hands had worked themselves into his shirt front pulling him closer and he scooted over where she tugged, careful not to lay on her at all. For the life of him he couldn’t banish the grin from his face at the sight of her, sleepy and curled in his bed. It had been a far away dream that she would trust him this much at one point but now it was coming to be reality.

   “Thank you.” She mumbled softly as sleep started to claim her. “You’re the best Daddy ever.” His hands stilled in her hair a moment as he tried to remind his heart to beat once more. She had never used the word before. Not out loud at least. He didn’t even know if she would remember it when she woke. But some small part of him would never forget that moment. The first time she called him Daddy.

 

 

* * *

 

I cannot be awake for nothing looks to me as it did before, Or else I am awake for the first time, and all before has been a man sleep.

~Walt Whitman

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone needs an invite to get an account let me know I will request and send them out as I get them Since I have Anon comments enabled also let me know where else I should post this! I am thinking of starting to cross post over to other sites so... where can I put kinky smut that won't be yanked down due to content?


	15. Dinner Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Author peeks from behind bulwarks.* INCOMING *Throws chapter and dives back to safety from ravenous fans.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to dedicate this chapter to Daddy who for the past week panked my bottom before bed if it wasn’t done yet. Ellie my bestest friend who also encouraged me to write and even left me alone for hours so I could try and get it out in my very little free time. But MOST IMPORTANTLY 2035 Rose1724 and xXObsesser96Xx who wouldn’t let me forget them and reminded me you were all waiting. Sorry but work has been crazy and long lately and transitional chapters are always difficult as well.

    He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring at her slowing rising and falling chest his heart breaking every time she would shudder if she breathed too deeply. He had seen a perfect broken little girl that day in the waiting room. Somehow he had fallen in love with an idea of  her and what he could be to her and then she shattered every idea he had ever had. There was an iron in her core that made her take her pain and shove it somewhere deep enough it couldn’t touch her. She refused to give in to physical or emotional traumas and it made the breakdown in the bathroom terrifying on an entirely new level. The soft knock on the door startled him from his revere and quietly so as not to wake her he called out. “It’s open.”  
    “Dinner’s ready. I can put it up for a bit if you require more time.” There was a tone that had crept back into her voice. He had forgotten it in the last few years, since his fathers passing, and it pained him that he had put it back there.   
    “Mom, I-” He stopped not knowing exactly what he was trying to say. She didn’t force it she just crossed the room and sat gently on the edge of the bed.   
    “Are you ok? I mean the two of you that is. Did you, talk?” It was still there that unsure sound of fear and hope. He was turning into his father and it terrified him.   
    “We’ll be fine Mom. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off and tried to remove Lily’s hands from his shirtfront only to discover she was not inclined to let go.   
    “Michael, you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. I’m not upset. It’s just been so long since your father was around. I had no idea how much I missed him. He gave my life an order and a purpose that I haven’t had recently. You just made me realize I don’t have to try and fill his shoes for you. You’re doing a perfectly fine job of filling them on your own.” His eyes drifted close as she carded her fingers through his hair. “Your Grandfather would have hated everything about the man you’ve become.” He smiled at that. Leave it to his mother to find the one thing that he needed more than anything at any given moment.   
    “Thank you. I’m trying. I’m just terrified I was never meant-” He choked and she hushed him then kissing the top of his head.   
    “You are exactly the man you were meant to be Mikey. We don’t have to understand or even like the plan but it is still going exactly like it was supposed to. Now, do you want dinner now or are you skipping in favor of a night in bed. I made those little pot pies you like so much. There’s roasted vegetables and I ordered up a nice Chardonnay and there’s now chocolate syrup for chocolate milk.”   
    “We’ll be out in a minute mom. And doesn’t chicken get white wine? White meat, white wine right?” He heard her heave a deep sigh behind him as she lifted off the bed.   
    “Your father is rolling in his grave Michael. Chardonnay is white wine you completely uncultured little shit. I’ll get dinner on the table.” He smiled where she couldn’t see as she slipped out and shut the door behind her. She’d be fine if she was back to teasing him.  
    It took twenty minutes to get Lily awake and wrapped in a robe. She was quiet but clingy and Michael wasn’t sure if she was falling apart or still gathering herself together. He settled her into her chair and made sure she had taken a bite actually eating before turning to his mother and allowing her to draw him into conversation.   
  


* * *

  
I will be your father figure  
Put your tiny hand in mine  
I will be your preacher teacher  
Anything you have in mind  
I will be your father figure  
I have had enough of crime  
I will be the one who loves you -  
Until the end of time  
~George Michael

* * *

  
  
    At first Lilly thought they were having hot pockets for dinner. She bit in and began to chew but with the first meeting of her jaws something made a rather decided squish between her teeth and it took everything she had to not gag. With horror filled eyes she saw it there lurking inside the golden brown crust. Grey, slimy, and infinitely disgusting the mushroom mocked her. Carefully so as to be sure no one was looking she spit it into her lap and flicked it under the table. Picking up her fork she started to deconstruct the entire thing. Peas in one spot carrots in another Chicken over there and on the very far edge of her plate as far as she could push it until it nearly spilled over the rim went the devils candy of mushrooms.   
    “Lilly stop playing with your food and eat it please.” Her head snapped up at the sound of Nana’s voice. The doctor heaved a sigh and reached for her plate and she froze she was sure he was going to get mad or worse make her leave. She reached out grabbing his wrist with both hands as it closed over the edge of her plate her whispered words barely more than a squeak.  
    “I’ll eat it, I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.” He stood slowly and pressed a kiss to the top of her head turning to lay his cheek against her hair his voice was gentle and soothing.   
    “It’s ok baby. It’s my fault I didn’t think to ask Nana to keep your food from touching. I’m just going to grab you something else ok?” His other hand moved to make slow circles on her back as she tried to remember how to breathe in a steady in and out cadence.   
    “Promise you’re not mad?” He let go of the plate and came to his knees beside her chair. Firm hands turned her to face him and he took her face in both hands. She watched him carefully as his thumbs stroked her cheek bones.   
    “I promise I’m not mad or upset or even a little bit not happy about dinner. That was my fault not yours.” Her hands drifted to his wrists and for a moment she just leaned into the gentle touch letting him stroke her face and refusing to release his hands. It was several minutes before she realized how long they had sat there in silence to the gentle sounds of Nana continuing to eat. She pulled back with a start but his movements remained slow. “I’ll be right back. I’m just stepping into the kitchen.” He kissed the crown of her head and moved off.   
    She didn’t know why her hands shook or why she was on the verge of tears. There was this looming wave of panic and she felt caught in its shadow. A plate was set in front of her  carefully divided sections held carrot sticks hot dogs sliced into thin fingers and orange wedges. He set the ranch and the ketchup next to her plate and kissed the crown of her head once more. “Do you want me to put some ranch or ketchup on your food?”  
    And for one moment her world narrowed down to his hands warm and safe on the back of her chair his finger tips barely brushing her shoulder blades. They were an anchor in a world that kept trying to swallow her whole. She leaned back against them and barely managed a nod. But the very moment his hands moved away the panic rose once more. It didn’t require thought she simply reached out and grabbed the hand that had reached for the ketchup and dragged it back. Right against her  breastbone tucking her chin over it and refusing to let go. Just like that it all receded again. She was safe and it would be ok. 

* * *

  
  
I'm here on the edge again  
I wish I could let it go  
I know that I'm only one step away  
From turning it around  
  
Can you still see the heart of me?  
All my agony fades away  
When you hold me in your embrace  
  
Don't tear me down for all I need  
Make my heart a better place  
Give me something I can believe  
~Within Temptation  
  


* * *

  
    She had his hand in a death grip tucked under his chin. She still lacked the ranch dressing and ketchup and his own dinner was only half eaten.   
    “Feel better Baby Girl?” She nodded digging her chin into his hand and he smiled softly. “Alright then.” Reaching around with his other hand he poured the ranch and the ketchup. Without his right hand it was an interesting adventure in aiming with his left hand. Once finished he slid he plate closer to his before scooping her up allowing to let her keep the hand before settling her on his knee and holding her close.   
    “You still have to eat Lily. So either let go with one hand or I’m gonna feed you ok?” She nodded slower this time and scooted back into his chest before slowly beginning to eat. Left handed he picked up and tucked  into his own dinner once more.

* * *

  
Safe in Your arms  
When I'm weak You carry me  
I am safe in Your arms  
You're my strength, You're my safety  
~Abandon

* * *

  
    They were both smiling softly around their meals but she didn’t think either knew the other was bordering on grinning like an idiot. Lily was sweet and everything she’d seen of the girl spoke of a deep strength but even that was barely holding herself together. She almost didn’t recognize Michael when she’d returned. He was thinner and the mop headed shy boy that she knew had disappeared behind the man who sat across from her now. The softness was still there, around his eyes, when he smiled at Lily. But the timidity was gone. He was a professional and a leader. From all she had seen the fears of him running the community in the ground proved unfounded. He had overcome everything and led them into a new stage and place. The entire community was happier and healthier than she had ever seen it. But Michael was still caught in his own past. The very house was a testament to it There wasn’t even a single window on the upper floor and if you looked you could see where they had been plastered over. The medical equipment was state of the art and brand new. He was haunted by a past that should never have been his burden to bury and the moment he found a small piece of happiness for himself the lack of a single sheet of paper threatened to tear it all away.   
    After they slipped off to the bathroom to finish her interrupted bath before bed and she took her opportunity. “Hey Carol this is Jolene. I know its been forever. Can you come over tomorrow around 11. They never had a contract and we need to get it down before anyone finds out. Thank you so much. Can’t wait to see the two of you.”   
    She could hear them laughing in the bathroom and the splash of the water as she pulled blankets from the chest at the end of his bed and knew she had made the right choice. He hadn’t laughed like that in ages and she knew she was doing the right thing as she moved back to the couch and made up her bed.  
    Maybe if they were lucky they would find a way to beat the odds. They could be happy if even for a short while. So that someday when they were old and alone they would have memories to keep them company. Jolene twisted the band on her hand and thought of Alex. They told him he was crazy when he married her. They had made beautiful children and beautiful memories that outweighed the bad ones. “I miss you,” she whispered into the night. She woke briefly when the pair moved from the bath into Lily’s bedroom. Jolene smiled listening to them, a squeal of laughter and the solemn vow the grumps were gone and she did not require any more tickles.  
  


* * *

  
God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.  
~Rudyard Kipling  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an idea brewing for a completely separate bit in a different part of the world with a FemDom please let me know if this is anything your interested in.


	16. Midnight Emergencies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. Thank you for still being here. Explanations at the end.

I just let the pain take over, allowing it to numb the pain of being left behind.  
~Jessica Sorensen 

* * *

  
    Pain was something  she was growing increasingly familiar with. It had been a part of her life for so long that she couldn’t remember the last time she didn’t hurt. But this was different there was a fire threatening to consume her from the inside out. There was a screaming that was threatening to split her skull in the absolute darkness just fire and pain and it was never going to stop.  
  
    Michael was up and down the hall without a second thought when the screaming began. He’d put her to bed hours ago and everything had seemed fine, but now as the light from the hall flooded her room it clearly was not. She had tossed the blankets completely from the bed, thrashing and screaming clutching at her stomach. Her fingers dug in until they drew blood as she screamed. It was with a doctors medical detached efficiency he poked and pressed and checked before scooping her up and rushing down the stairs to the clinic below.    
  
    Ten minutes, a morphine drip and an ultrasound later and he had found the source of the issue. It wasn’t her appendix as he had originally feared but in so many ways the kidney stones were worse. He could do nothing for her but wait for them to pass. In the back of his mind he knew he should put on a shirt… or shoes perhaps. But the thought of her waking alone and disoriented from the liberal dose of pain medication made him stay. There was only one other patient down here and he may as well check on them to keep busy in the mean time. 

* * *

  
Out dammed spot! Out I say!  
~Lady Macbeth

* * *

  
  
    Jolene Blackstone moved to join them in a fog. Her heart pounding in her chest, she wondered how long it really took for an intravenous air bubble to kill someone. When she stepped into the clinic Lily was twisting and whining on a bed but Michael was behind the curtain that divided a nightmare made into man from the rest of them. She stood there staring at his bare feet and listening to the clicks taps and ticks of him medling with machines and adjusting things. Not dead then, he would tell everything and sweet Michael would save him. That was simply what he did. When he came stepping out though she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her guilt was plainly written on her face.  
    “Hey mom,” There was no accusation there, no anger or hurt just a weariness. “She’s passing a kidney stone. From the looks of the ultrasound there’s a few of them but I’m pretty confident we can treat the rest with medication. You can go back to bed I’m going to sit up with her.” Jolene nodded and watched as he sat gently on the side  of her bed pulling her hand into his lap running those long graceful fingers over the delicate bones of Lily’s hand.  
    “How is…” She watched with her heart in her throat as he shrugged.  
    “Had a stroke, doesn’t surprise me after all the physical stress and he was in pretty shit physical condition. It should be clear to move him to some hospital as a John Doe transfer. He’ll be found eventually and out of here.” There was an ice to his voice. A sort of sharp edge that cut with the force of his venom.  
    “Michael I,”  
    “Don’t Mom. Just leave it.” He cut her off before she could even begin. “He was a horrible human being. I remember Dad telling me about this bet the two of them had. On Football of all things, Dad won you. Took you right from him when you were still shiny and new. For years I have treated the injuries and dressed the wounds and put sanction after sanction on him and every time I knew it could have been you. Then it was Lily. Don’t you dare be sorry for him. Don’t you be sad and don’t you fucking dare get upset. I almost want to throw a party over his half dead body.”  
    “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know it’s hard to see your baby hurting. If you need anything, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep is all. I’ll be right upstairs.” He nodded slowly but his attention didn’t stray from the tiny girl on the hospital bed.  
  


* * *

  
Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.  
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

* * *

  
  
    She was on fire. No, not fire just lots of pain and it was steadily getting worse. Her head was fuzzy, like that first day she woke up in her princess bed. Panic caused her to sit up with such force she slammed her head into Michael who was leaning over her to check her IV. He stood up rubbing his jaw where the two collided.  
    “Hey baby girl you’re awake! You’ve got some kidney stones. You’re gonna have to pass this one giving you all this trouble.” His hand stroked the side of her face ever so gently running along the line of her jaw. Lily paid almost no attention to it. Her every thought was captivated by his naked chest.  
    There was a story in it all she was sure. Tentative fingers reached forward to touch where she was sure they would come away wet. Perfectly rendered in ink a spreader pushed his ribcage back and everything inside was displayed in perfect detail. Except for one thing. His heart was missing. The entire tattoo seemed to fade into nothingness at the middle where his heart should be. She just kept tracing the edges over and over until another caught her eye a smattering of dots with a date high on his right shoulder. There was a bird with a broken wing on his upper arm. She was sure if she kept exploring she would find more. There was even one just at the top of his pants where his hip met his thigh but before she could move the cloth aside to try to read the words he caught her hand grinning down at her.  
    “My eyes are up here sweetheart. How’s your pain?” She returned her hand to his chest not wanting to lose contact and finally looked into his eyes. He was tired. She remembered that look well. A deep tired that didn’t care how much sleep you had gotten or coffee you drank. It was born of pain and fear and worry. She smiled her best and brightest smile and did the only thing one could do when faced with that sort of tired… She lied.  
    “I’m good. It just feels like I’ve got to pee real bad. I just had a nightmare. You can get some sleep if you want.” The last thing she wanted was to be alone. She was hurting and scared and her head was fuzzy. She didn’t know what time it was or what day. Her whole life had turned upside down over and over and he was the only anchor she had left. She watched as his eyebrow quirked along with one side of his mouth.  
    “Alright. Shove over.” He dropped the side of her hospital bed and started pushing her towards the far side.  
    “Hey. HEY! What are you doing? Oof!” She protested but only weakly as he pushed into the bed beside her.  
    “My bedroom is upstairs. And soo far away I thought it might just be easier to share with you. You don’t mind?” It didn’t matter if she had or not because in the moment he kissed her she would have done anything to pull him closer. Every time he kissed her rational thought fled. His lips were like velvet over hers and her hand began to wander over his chest. She had seen as much nudity as any other teenage girl with curiosity and an internet connection but the solid warmth under her fingers was something entirely different. It made her heart flutter and seize up in turns as she traced the gentle lines of his body beneath her hand. His own roamed over her stomach slowly until a sharp pain made her cry out and arch away from him.  
    “Lily, I’m just trying to help, I need you to be honest. Does it hurt when I press here?” His fingers continued to push and press into her abdomen.  
    “No just… OW OW OW OW THERE IT HURTS THERE!” She squirmed again this time burying into his chest. “Please make it stop,” She whimpered. “Please make it stop hurting.”  
    “Baby you’ve got a whole lot of morphine in you, so I think we’re gonna have to try outside of drugs for a bit.” His hand stroked her hip slowly his gentle finger tracing the curve of her slowly down to the edge of her gown each time shifting the hem just slightly higher. “Lily look at me, that’s right baby right in my eyes. We’re gonna play a game ok?”  
    He had awakened that flutter again. His very touch sent her heart racing and her head spinning. Nothing could have torn her eyes from his in that moment.  
    “Baby girl I need an answer you wanna play Red Light Green Light?” He laughed leaning in and brushing her nose with his.  
    She nodded with a bit more fervor than she usually mustered and he laughed again.  
    “Ok you say Green Light if you want me to keep going and Red Light if you want me to stop ok?” He smiled as she mumbled her assent but clearly called her first Green Light. Under the edge of her nightgown his fingers drifted ever higher pausing along the line of her hip.  
    “G…gre…green light,” Lily stuttered between shaking breaths.  
    Michael grinned and moved his hand over her mound his fingers curling lower and stroking gently over her opening.  
    Lips and fingers mirrored the actions of the other as they moved over her body. Light kisses matched light touches and as his hand moved deeper in his tongue invaded her lips stroke for dizzying stroke. He made sure she felt every movement with every part of her until she was wrapping around him and crying out into his shoulder. Until finally with the force of her orgasm her body pushed the stone the last few inches and the begged for relief swam with pleasure and pain leaving her sobbing.       
  


* * *

  
Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.  
~Kurt Vonnegut

* * *

  
  
    “We can come back later. I mean if you’re busy in the clinic and all I’m not dying or anything.” Lily could have died. Someone had been there, watching. Michael on the other hand had different ideas apparently and was already moving carefully keeping her covered.  
    “I’ll be right back. It’s ok if you fall asleep I’m not going anywhere baby.” Slowly he turned toward his visitors to find Marjorie and Devlin waiting. Giving the young man a quick once over there didn’t seem to be anything obviously wrong with the boy despite the look of pain on his face. “Marge what’s going on? Usually you’ve broken something of his before he’ll agree to come see me.”  
    “He’s not the patient. I think my arms dislocated.” As she stepped around the slightly larger man it all became much clearer.  
    “Devlin, sit with Lily while I fix this. If she needs anything see to it.” Subs always dealt best in situations like this with something to do. Much better than having the man hover while he relocated her shoulder. Besides Marjorie was a lawyer perhaps he could talk to her about assisting with the contract.  
    

* * *

  
Blessed are they who have the gift of making friends, for it is one of God's best gifts. It involves many things, but above all, the power of going out of one's self and appreciating whatever is noble and loving in another.  
~Thomas Hughes

* * *

  
  
    Devlin slid into the chair beside her and she tried to find a way to sink into the earth and die of embarrassment.  
    “Do you think she’s gonna be ok? I thought dislocations were supposed to be serious. I just… god we got married last week and I swear when the rig slipped and her arm popped I thought…” He swallowed thickly and Lily reached out to gently touch his elbow her own fears forgotten in light of his.  
    “He’s a real good doctor. She’s gonna be just fine.” She offered him a small smile and he smiled back and squeezed her hand.  
    “Thanks. I’m glad your ok. Did you know we were on the search squad? Canceled the honeymoon trip and everything. When they found you, man, everyone was so relieved. That and kinda glad you shot that bastard. Cuz’ you know it was ok out of you but there were hundreds of people who had wanted to for YEARS. He was kind of a dick.” And there it was. The whole ugly truth in under ten seconds. She had run and it had all ended with a man dead. Yet there wasn’t a bit of judgment in him It just was.  
    “I’m sorry you had to cancel your honeymoon.”  
    “It’s ok I didn’t really want to do Australia in the middle of their summer anyway.”  
    It might have been fifteen minutes or an hour she couldn’t tell you later all she knew was Devlin was telling her it was ok to close her eyes and the next she was walking down a beach with a Walrus discussing the merits of chunky vs creamy peanut butter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY. My boss went out of town for four days... and then didn't come back for a month. 30 straight days of open to close in a single coverage convenience store. It was shit. Then panic took over I would sit and stare at the page for hours and be unable to write scared that I would mess this up. I have never in my life had so many people so excited about anything I have ever done. I am humbled and amazed by the whole of you guys and this massive outpouring of support I have gotten. So now it's time to plug 2 things. FIRST The most amazing place for Pacifiers I have ever found https://www.etsy.com/shop/LittleGirlDreamShopp I love love love these things. GO BUY LOVE THEM TOO!!! also very reasonable at 13$ each  
> I opened an etsy too at the urging Daddy. https://www.etsy.com/shop/LilysLittleMysteries MYSTERY BOXES (hint: fun toys and treats within completely safe no adult bits.)  
> I am going to do my best to never never never let this happen again. I love you guys and I'm super mega crazy sorry. I think I found a grove again so YAY!!!


	17. Contracts and Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And... we're back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Tater what happened?   
> Tater Haters.  
> Fuckin assholes.  
> I KNOW RIGHT!  
> So are we back?  
> Eh... Sorta... I'm still super invested in Alpha Omega but I'm gonna try and toss out a chapter of Daddy's Little Girl when I can. I swear to god though the first person to act like an asshole is going to have to shovel the Pony Play stables.

    When Lilly woke she was alone once more. Her stomach turned and she tried to push up out of the bed but only got tangled in the sheets. She just wanted to be back upstairs and eat pancakes and curl up and watch those stupid cartoons and pretend that the rest of the world didn’t exist.   
  
    She tugged and yanked at the sheets until she fell from the bed taking out the I.V. stand that slammed into the rolling divider sending  it all crashing down. Michael sat just beyond the edge of the destruction holding a young man’s hand palm up on a small cart carefully stitching his palm closed.   
  
    “Hold this.” He handed the boy the needle and thread and dove right to Lily’s side. Careful fingers removed the I.V. from her arm. “You ok baby?” She nodded but the truth was she was mortified. He swept her up and carried her back to the chair he had been sitting in with the boy getting her arranged on his lap and tucking her arms around his neck. “You don’t have to look but this will only take a second. We can’t exactly leave him bleeding everywhere. Even if he sliced himself open in an effort to see you.”  
  
    “I want pancakes.” Lilly mumbled into his neck as he worked around her.   
  
    “We can make pancakes.” She could feel his arms moving behind her as he finished stitching the boy up and wrapped a bandage around it. “Ok keep it clean and try not to use that hand for anything till it heals. Also next person who is only here to try and get a look at Lily isn’t getting any anesthesia.”  
  
    He stood lifting Lilly onto his hip as she wrapped her legs around him. “We’re gonna go make pancakes.”    
  
    “I want my bunny.” She grumbled.   
  
    “We can get your bunny. He’s still in your bed upstairs.”  
  
    “I’m on really good drugs. Like super good drugs. There was a walrus. I liked the Walrus he likes peanut butter.” She snuggled into his chest as the panic and pain ebbed away in his arms. He laughed and the vibration through her made her cling ever tighter.  
  
    “Well my baby girl was hurting really bad and she’s had a really rough time. What was the Walrus’s name?” He carefully popped the door to the upstairs and came to a full halt. It was barely nine am and there was a room full of people sitting around his living room.   
  
    “Marjorie, Carol, Mom,” He nodded to each of the women skipping past Devlin who was back in restraints and stuck in a stress position in the corner and Charlie curled up in Carol’s lap on the couch nursing. Most notably he didn’t even turn to look at Dominick and Andrea who sat at the end of his dining room table. “Mom can I speak to you in my office for a minute.” Carefully he lowered Lilly onto the end of the couch and grabbed a pillow tucking it into her arms so she could curl around it. “Baby I’m gonna be right back ok? I’ve just gotta talk to Nana for a minute.” Lilly nodded dumbly staring at Charlie and Carol. It might do her some good to get settled with little friends. So long as it wasn’t Andrea. He grabbed Jolene’s elbow and nearly dragged her into the office slamming the door shut behind them. “Seriously?” He hadn’t meant for it to come out in a hiss but he was furious and trying not to yell.   
  
    “She needs little friends and you need to get the contract done. I thought she could help advocate.” Jolene stepped out of his way as Michael began to angry pace across the office.   
  
    “She can have a thousand friends I don’t care she can hang with the fucking pony show throwing popcorn at South American Football matches for all I care. But she is NOT to be anywhere near that little fucking cunt or that cock sucking bottom feeder.” He slammed his fist into the speed bag hanging in the corner of the office and she couldn’t help but wince. She had heard second hand when things went south between Andrea and Michael but she had no idea that he would have this sort of reaction.   
  
    “Mikey I’m sorry I thought… I thought things were good between the two of you. I had no idea.” She gathered him close. “I’ll go get rid of them. Just give me fifteen minutes.”  
  
    “Lily wanted pancakes. Can you get that going if I’m gonna be holed up in here with Marjorie.” He hugged her back. He supposed he was partially at fault. He never did tell his mother what had passed between them but she had really liked Andrea and he didn’t want to deal with that fall out.   
  
    “Pancakes coming right up.”   
  


* * *

  
  
    Holy. Fucking. Shit. Sitting in the middle of the couch was the guy who gave her the friendship bracelet. He was laid back into the lap of a slightly younger woman seeming to breast feed. Most shocking her hand was down the front of his diaper. She watched unable to look away as she slowly stroked him off as he nursed. Just as he came Michael crouched down beside her sliding an arm slowly behind her back.   
  
    “Hey baby how you feelin?” He reached up and pulled her bottom lip from between her teeth unaware she had been chewing on it.   
  
    “Huh?” She blushed bright red realizing she’d been caught staring. Then again they were clearly doing it completely out in the open. If they cared about her staring they shouldn’t have been doing it on her couch. No, not her couch his couch why was she thinking about it being her couch. “She just jacked him off while he nursed on her.” Her brain to mouth filter was definitely still broken.   
  
    But Michael just laughed. “Yeah baby. She’s his mommy. She has to take care of him. Just like I take care of you. Now Nana is gonna make some pancakes and we need to get some things worked out so you can keep staying with me. I’m gonna meet with some people and you’re gonna meet with some people and their gonna help you work out what you need. Then when it’s over no one is gonna be able to take you away again ok? It’s my promise to you that I’m gonna take care of you.”   
  
    She nodded softly trying to follow along with what he was saying but she was still half asleep and full of Morphine. But there were gonna be pancakes! “Ok.”  
  
    He smiled and hugged her with the arm around her back. “That’s my good girl. Can I have a kiss? You look so cute chewing on your lips like that.” She nodded slowly unsure and he turned his head to present her with his cheek. She dropped a kiss on it. “Ok Marjorie. You’re with me. And for the sake of clarity Carol all Doms into the office.”  
  
    Lily watched as the lady sat the boy up on the couch. “Sweetie I’m gonna need you to be a big boy. Miss Lily is gonna need y our help.”   
  
    He scowled at his mommy, “No. It’s not time to be a big boy yet.”  
  
    “Yes baby. It’s time to be a big boy. You are the smartest bestest boy ever and she needs your help ok? Don’t you want to help Miss Lilly?” Lilly watched as he slumped forward and put his face into his hands.   
  
    “I’m not putting on pants. AND I am not answering any calls or hearing any messages or ANYTHING ELSE even remotely big.” Lily’s jaw dropped in wonder as his voice dropped an entire octave.  
  
    “Thank you Charlie.” She ruffled his hair.   
  
    “Go away Ms. Meeks. You are getting fired the minute we get home.” She ignored him and grinned and leaning in and tickling his sides.  
  
    “You’ve threatened to fire me for years I don’t believe a word of it now stop pouting. We can go to the shops later if it will cheer you up.” She dropped a kiss on his forehead and slid down the hall after Dr. Blackstone and the other woman leaving Lilly alone. With the boys. Looking around she realized for the first time Andrea wasn’t here anymore.   
  
    “Hey, where did Andrea go?” She looked around wondering if she had just stepped off for a moment while she was distracted. Lily could have sworn she was here when they came up.   
  
    “She left a bit ago with her big artist boyfriend. I wouldn’t get to close to that one. It’s a bad idea.” Devlin jumped in before being silenced by a glare from Charlie.  
  
    “We’re actually here to advocate with her contract. I am still a barrister and I do take this seriously. Now, I’m pretty sure Carol had some standard checklists packed into my diaper bag if you could hand it here.”  
  


* * *

  
  
    Thirty minutes later Lily was glaring into her plate of pancakes. She was tired of Hard Limits, Soft Limits, and the various array of things she wanted. Some were sexual and some rather mundane but they had just gotten to the very specific portion for Littles.   
  
    “Ok, pacifiers?”  
  
    “Their fine.”  
  
    “Strollers?”  
  
    “No thank you.”  
  
    “Crib?”  
  
    “I like my bed.”  
  
    “Diapers?”  
  
    “No!”  
  
    “Ok hard limit there.” He continued down the list through bottle feeding and breast feeding waddlers and onesies. By the time they reached the end of his list she was bored and tired and achy and just wanted to lay down.  
  


* * *

  
  
    “You can’t ask her to sign a twenty year contract right out the gate.”  
  
    “Why not? People sign twenty year mortgages?” He knew she had a point but it didn’t stop him trying. He wasn’t about to let her go anytime soon. No matter what came he wanted her to know she was secure here and he had no intention leaving her to dangle in just a few years. “Ok ok. We’ll go with a five year contract.  Twenty million a year into her retirement account at the completion of each year.”  
  
    “You can’t give her twice the standard rate. The contract is public record and that’s not going to go over well.” Marjorie stared at him and he began to understand why she commanded such a rate from her clients. Because she refused to let them screw themselves either.   
  
    “I have cause. You can list the initial violation of her submissive right to choose her position and the fact that she’s an unbroken virgin.” He grinned at Marjorie’s look of shock  
  
    Carol slapped the desk and leaned forward. He was sure the effect was rather dramatic to anyone who had a thing for full bodied women. “Shut the front door! Oh my gosh! I thought for sure she was rollin’ that little Mexican boy! I thought she was a street kid!”  
  
    “Get this, apparently the kid is gay and spent 90% of his time hustling and looking out for her. I’m not going to be upset about that.” He thought briefly that he really needed to make some calls and help get Jesus settled. The last thing he needed was a guilt trip that had him taking the boy in. He had no interest in sharing Lily’s attention.  
  
    “Did you check after she got back from Augustus?” The look he turned on Marjorie could have frozen water.   
  
    “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. Move on.” The tension was broken by a knock at the door. “Enter.” Devlin stepped in carefully and held out the checklist. He held out his hand and it was handed over. He glanced down the list before handing it over. “Three things. First She listed no preference on her body hair so she’s going bald. Second I don’t care how open she is to an open relationship it’s not happening. Third tell her we discussed this already and she’s wearing the diapers.” He waved him off.   
  
    Five minutes later they stopped the typing up of the contract to the sound of Lily screeching from the living room. “I AM NOT WEARING A FUCKING DIAPER!!!”  
  
    “Sorry, I’ll be right back. I think someone needs a nap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok here's how this works.... The one and only reason this is back is because there were people telling me how much they loved it and missed it. If you want it to keep coming you have to keep stroking my ego. I have a fragile Artist's soul and would rather write a story I love for the few select people who love it with me than to keep putting out chapter after chapter with only nasty responses by people who shouldn't be reading something that's tagged for things they don't agree with. I am writing this my way the way the muse speaks to me and I'm gonna work my way back away from some of the things i got bullied into before. The reason i got Stuck is Ellie AKA Babybowsadventures/PrincessPoptart decided that my ideas for my own story were shit and she wanted everything to be fluffy happy fun. Unfortunately as they live in my head they are imperfect beings with pasts where both good and bad things have happened. Also I've done alot of growing as a writer so a few things might be a little more similar to my writing style in Alpha Omega. (If you're into werewolves with a slight A/B/O bent come check it out.)


	18. Broken...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dinosaur has breathed it's last. It is finally dead and all my reference docs with it. This thing has the worlds worst trackpad (seriously OMG I hate it.) So somethings like clickable links are going away until I get a mouse. It will take me a little while to adjust to writing on this full time it had been being used as my back up when I was on the move but it's all I have left now so patience young padawan! It's just gonna slow me down until I find a good rythym and a better free word processor AbiWord is shitty. I am about to try WordFree Also I am looking for A Beta reader for this story now as well I don't want to put it off on my other reader who is still slowly combing through and fixing my Avengers works so drop me a line if you're interested!

    When Devlin returned all smiles she was sure this was all almost over. They would leave and she could just sleep. “We’re all good we have three points of interest. He said he wants you bare since you didn’t care.” She was confused she was sure she had said no to nudity hadn’t she? It was right in the middle of a bunch of other exhibitionist crap. “Second he’s not sharing and neither are you.” Wasn’t sharing supposed to be a good thing? Sharing is caring right? She remembered some sort of special when she was a kid about that. “And last he said you had a prior arrangement on the diapers so your wearing them. It can’t be that bad I mean you’ve got one on.”   
  
    She was tired and sore and her thoughts were foggy like her head was stuffed with cotton. Her stomach rolled and all she wanted was to go back to sleep. “I AM NOT WEARING A FUCKING DIAPER!”  Her hands slapped over her mouth as soon as it came out.   
  
    In one sentence she had sealed her fate. So many rules all at once. She had yelled, she had used crass language. So much worse she had lied. It wasn’t an intentional lie it was an accidental one. Her intention didn't matter only her action and she had lied. Now the pain was going to start. She curled into a ball trying to protect her middle. She knew what he wanted. The man with the chains and the whips. She knew what she was.   
  


* * *

  
  
    Michael was prepared to deal with yelling screaming kicking hitting pouting and crying. He was not ready to see her curled into a tiny ball muttering into her knees hands over the back of her head protecting her vulnerable spots. She rocked back and forth. The other subs had pulled back into waiting positions. Waiting for an order something to hold on to and give them stability against the chaos that had just erupted. “Charlie, you want to watch a movie? Devlin can you put on Mulan. That’s Charlie’s favorite.” He lifted Lily into his arms.  
  
    The litany of self abuse that fell from her lips broke his heart. “Stupid, worthless, whore, slut, cunt, worthless, worthless, stupid, useless.” It wasn’t the first time he had heard the same seven words. They were drilled into those under Powers care mixed with pain and sleep deprivation until they broke. Their minds would shatter into a thousand pieces and he would rebuild them in his vision. It was a process that would require that they be broken over and over again until there was nothing left of who they used to be. He didn’t want to lose the girl she was. She was so amazing. He began to tell her so.   
  
    “Such a good girl. My sweet baby. So good for Daddy. Daddy needs you to take deep breaths in and out baby. All the way in all the way out.” His hand stroked up and down her back giving her something to match her breath too as he moved to the rocker in his bedroom. They sat and rocked for the better part of an hour before she began to uncurl. Slowly at first the tension rolled out of her legs. then her back as she curled more into him and less into himself.   
  
    “Does my baby want a bath?” She hesitated and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She had been so beautifully stubborn. He had come to love her tantrums, they were a beautiful part of her spirit. But now...  
  
    “I want to please you sir.” She whispered into his chest. Her hands curled and uncurled gripping his shirt before letting it go and smoothing it out. “I will try harder to please you.” She whispered and turned her face rubbing it into his chest.   
  
    “Baby, what would please me best is if you keep being the sweet girl I know you are. I know it’s been a hard day do you want a nap, or a bath first then a nap?” He was trying to be careful and keep her options open but one way or another she needed to get some rest to help settle her.   
  
    “I just want to please you. Please don’t bring the pain back. I am so sorry I am bad. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Daddy.” She gave in to great wracking sobs and he held her as she cried.   
  
    “Such a good girl. You are such a sweet girl. Daddy loves you just the way you are. Is my baby hurting?” She tensed up again and he knew she was trying to press down anything she thought would upset him. “You have to tell me if it hurts so Daddy can make it better. Daddy hates watching his baby hurt.”  
  
    She sniffled and nodded into him. “Everything hurts.” She whispered.    
  
    “Ok baby Daddy’s gonna fix it. Do you wanna nap here in Daddy’s bed or you want to nap in Lily’s bed.” He was going to make her chose something before he let her sleep. One way or another. Even if it came down to Cake or Death she was going to state a preference.   
  
    “I don’t know. Stupid, stupid, stupid.”  
  


* * *

  
  
    He spanked her.   
  
    She froze like she was suddenly made stone. She had disappointed him. She waited for the further blows to come her punishment for all of the things she had done wrong. It was always going to come back to this.   
  
    “Nobody gets to talk about my baby like that. She’s the smartest little girl I know. Sometimes too smart, but I love that about my baby. If you keep using such ugly words about the prettiest smartest best girl I know than you and I little missy are gonna have a problem.” His hands were warm and safe as they moved over her soothing the place on her thigh where he had struck her. He pressed kisses to the top of her head and began rocking again. “Daddy loves you and it hurts when you talk like that. You don’t want to hurt Daddy do you baby?”  
  
    No! Oh that was the last thing she wanted it was so nice here in his arms so beautiful and wonderful but her throat had closed and she couldn’t speak if she wanted to. The only thing in she wanted in the whole world was to hear those precious words fall from his lips again. She wanted him to love her. She nuzzled into him reaching up placing a tender kiss on his neck. She had seen movies, that was how it started. Gentle kisses led to more intimate touches until in heated moments of passion the hero declared his love.   
  


* * *

  
  
    He wanted to be stronger knowing how fragile she was but in the end he was only mortal and her tender kitten kisses that roamed his neck were unraveling his best intentions. His head dipped and he kissed her. He kissed her like she was the air he breathed pulling her lips between his teeth, seeking her tongue with his own. He lavished her with deep kisses because he could not contain them.   
  
     _‘You could fuck me if you want.’_ Her words from before rattled back through his head and he hauled up short. He was a lot of things but he wasn’t about to add rapist to the list. She was broken and seeking to please, to become anything she thought he wanted. All he wanted was her to chose him of her own free will. “Baby Daddy’s gonna get you a bottle and a book then we’re gonna read your book and give you your bottle then you need to take a nap. I promise, I will be here when you fall asleep and I will be here when you wake up.” He lifted her carefully and moved her into his bed kissing each eyelid in turn. “Now I’m gonna be right back with your bottle is there anything else you want?”  
  
    He could see the wheels turning and her half forming a word before backing off losing faith in herself again. “What is it baby? What can Daddy do for his sweet girl?”  
  
    She turned it over in her head before whispering. “My binky...” He was fairly sure he was grinning like an idiot but he didn’t care. She was going to be ok he just knew it.  
  
    “Anything you want sweet baby.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and hurried down into the kitchens. Jolene stood leaned against the counter twisting a cloth napkin between her hands. “Hey mom.” He dropped a kiss to her temple knowing it used to calm her down when he was a kid.   
  
    “We should get her a therapist. When is Margaret coming back? We should move her here full time.” She was panicking and he treated her like he would treat any other sub.   
  
    “Mom can you get down the bottle warmer its over the fridge.” He pulled the formula out from under the sink and grabbed a bottle.   
  
    “She’s going to need help to get past this. I didn’t think he had gotten into her head so completely.”  
  
    Michael took her face in his hands. “Mom, I need you to go downstairs and into the drug supply cabinet. Here are my keys. I need two Tylenol-3 crushed up and two Benadryl. I’ve got this ok? She’s gonna be fine.” He gave her a push out of the kitchen and now that she had something to do she centered and moved leaving behind her worries. In was the secret of his success. Listening to what they needed, paying attention to their state of mind and reacting accordingly.  
  
    He mixed the formula and dropped it into the bottle warmer. He was sure he had a binky here somewhere. He was still shuffling through drawers when his mother returned with the drugs dutifully crushed into a square of wax paper. “Mom do you have any idea where I put the pacifiers. I thought they were here in the kitchen but I can’t find them.”   
  
    Jolene reached into her pocket and pulled one out. Pink and covered with rhinestones it was every bit the sort of thing she would buy. “I got her one yesterday.”  
   
    Michael grinned and hugged her tightly. “Thanks mom your a life saver.” The powdered drugs went into the bottle and were mixed in with a quick shake. “Go sit with Charlie would you. I think Lily scared the daylights out of him.” Binky and bottle in hand he slid back to where he had left Ellie on his bed. “Hey princess.” He slid onto the bed next to her. He wasn’t even settled before she smashed herself into his side. He pulled a book from his nightstand and tugged her up into his lap. He pressed the bottle to her lips and for just a moment she hesitated before the nipple slid past. She looked beautiful like that. Her eyes wide and her lips pouted out around the bottle. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and began to read. “In the great green room there was a telephone. And a red balloon. And a picture of a cow jumping over the moon.”   
  
    She suckled softly and before long she was drifting in and out. He had learned his lesson about stopping the story before it was finished. and read right to the end. When her suckling would slow he ran soft fingers over her cheek until she started again. He wanted to be sure she got at least two thirds of it down and she was well asleep before he tried to slip out. If he had his way he would never leave her. He would sit here and hold her forever. Unfortunately if they didn’t get the contract finished he might not be able to hold her at all. If it were anyone else they would have been flayed for the liberties he had taken. In the end being the guy with your name on all the legal documents for the land and everything within it had it’s privileges even if it didn’t grant him immunity.   
  
    When he was sure she finally slept he made sure she was settled comfortably and pulled the blankets over her before slipping out again back to the office. Right into an argument.   
  
    “It’s just not going to happen. He’s never going to allow it and your being insanely stubborn about what might just be the simplest form of submission that exists!” Marjorie snapped at Charlie who nearly came across the desk at her.  
  
    “You would know exactly how much about what goes into anything that’s not wielding a whip and hanging your boyfriend from his ankles? Dev knows more about what you do than you know about him you fucking shrew. I’d also like to add that you married your fucking money. In you’re entire life you haven’t done a single thing of consequence that actually required guidance. Or did your mother teach you to marry old and rich the first time.” Charlie was going right for the jugular.  
  
    “Ok! Oh Kay! Back in your corners. Let’s back this up. Who won’t agree to what now?” He pushed Marjorie back down into her chair and Charlie over toward Carol. He took his seat again ready to play referee.   
  
    “Lily should go through training. This entire thing is ridiculous. You can’t have her bypass the entire system that the rest of the applicants go through. You are undermining the system.” Charlie kept poking the desk with his finger accentuating his point. Michael might have been more moved by the whole thing if Charlie hadn’t been one of the trainers for the very system he was pushing.  
  
    “What’s that going to look like to everyone else? That Master Blackstone can’t even train his own sub? He can’t put it off or he’ll lose credibility. Especially since she’s already been taken from him. The running most people could have dealt with but she was taken and held by a third party who his sub SHOT I might add. She appears out of control it will be taken as a sign of weakness.” Marjorie shot back.  
  
    Michael stood leaning  forward resting his fists on the desk staring them down. In all the fuss they seem to have forgotten their place in the order. “Are the two of you quite finished? Because you can both fuck off. My decision to take my little directly into my home was my own. Are we sensing a theme here? You know the one where at the end of the day I am in charge here. I listen to the council but at the end of the day this is in fact a Monarchy and I am your king. If at some point Lily would like to attend your classes she is welcome to be a day guest. It has nothing to do with the program or your ability to shape what is expected. It is nothing more than the simple fact that she is mine and I shall do as I fucking please. That is the end of that discussion. Now, as her advocate are there any other points of interest you want to bring up? Something more reasonable if you don’t mind.”   
  
    After a moment of silence Devlin was the one to speak up. “She needs a big space. Somewhere she can be big when she needs it.” Michael paused and turned to the young man. He had a good solid point. “Alright, Marjorie will you please add a big girl chair into her contract. Anything else?”  
  
    “Um, you should uh, talk to her. Like, before you take off and she just wakes up to a babysitter. You should tell her before you leave, to, her face and stuff.” He was starting to stumble and stutter unsure of himself his eyes kept darting up to the right. He was trying to remember something he had been told.  
  
    “Anything else my ex wanted to level at me? I’m not upset with you Dev. If she wanted to throw it out there that bad I suppose I should at least hear it. We’ll put that in as well I’m required to settle her directly with her baby sitter no matter how long they’ve known each other. Next?” Michael was aware he had grit his teeth. Everything about that girl put him on edge and now she was trying to get in the middle of his moving on with his life. But he supposed of all the people in all the world she was the best suited to know what his little needed and what he needed to work on. Even if the only thing he wanted to give that harpy was a swift kick in the ass.  
  
    Devlin carefully fished a paper out of his pocket and held it up. “She uh, left you a letter if you want to read it. She told me a bunch of stuff that was in it just in case you didn’t want to read it. So I mean I can just, tell you about it. If you promise not to be upset with me.”  
  
    He held out his hand and tore the letter open. It began with a list of what she saw as his failings and every thing that had gone wrong between them leading up to what she called ‘the incident’ he snorted at that. It was a nice non confrontational term to encompass the end of their four years together. It took her a full page to bleed her claims of victimhood out before she reached anything worthwhile. A place to be big when she needed to deal with things on an adult level. Making sure he settled her directly with a sitter even if it was only for a few hours while he had to go into the clinic. Her choice of clothes that were stocked into her closet even if he dressed her everyday. Andrea felt she should have the right to declare things a crime against fashion and have them burned. He settled back into the chair and could feel the corner of his mouth tick up. They had some good times before everything went to hell. He finished reading as the others looked on in silence waiting. By the end he almost didn’t hate her, almost.  
  
    “Alright final points and anyone else want to jump in feel free. Minimum of a weekly outing. Once a week she has to go out of the house into public in some fashion and I have to go with her. She has control over what goes into her closet I have control over what she wears out of it. The time out room will be directly negotiated with Lily to improve it’s structure for her personal preference. Spankings will be administered based on the impression that she has learned her lesson. I’m not going to hold her to a set number, so far one has worked on minor infractions. She is required to attend weekly sessions with a psychologist of her preference. She has the right to choose her babysitters but she is not to be left un-supervised.  She get’s the twenty million a year on a five year contract. I agree to pay the full burden of her relocation when she chooses to leave the community. She can chose to pursue her G.E.D. and any further education she would like while under my care. It is not required but the option is open if she wants it. If at the end of the contract with me she chooses to stay in an support capacity she will receive her full retirement at that time and all associated fees will be waived. Everything we just discussed the Big Girl Chair etcetera etcetera. Any indiscretion on her part voids her contract completely. She gets nothing and I have the right to immediate termination of all contractual responsibilities. Any other points of interest before we get this typed up for her to review. You’re acting as her lawyer Charlie, are you ok with this?” He turned to the older man and waited. He was the financially controlling party and a member of the council. At the end of the day if he signed off on it there shouldn’t be any objections from the outside.   
  
    “I think if you’re going to hold her to fidelity you need to do the same. She should receive the full payment for the remainder of her contract and the right to void it as well.” Michael nodded to Carol who made the necessary corrections. He wondered briefly if Charlie’s wife knew what he and his secretary got up to on their long ‘business’ trips. In the end it wasn’t any of his business and he let it drop. The contract was printed and he looked it over. Party of the first part herein referred to as ‘The Little’ and Party of the second part herein referred to as ‘Daddy’ to agree to enter into a BDSM relationship under the following terms. Blah blah blah...  
  
    “I’m just going to need her full legal name for the final document sir.” Until that moment he hadn’t thought twice about the fact that he had no idea what her legal name really was. Lily was what she had told him under sedation. She had told Margaret it was Victoria and her identification read Amelia Johnson. They had found her in the system at some point and he quickly pulled up his laptop finding the report that had been forwarded on. “Lily Anne James.” He smirked understanding now what she had meant when she had told him she knew that she had been named after Harry Potter’s mother, Lily and James Potter, Lily Anne James. It was adorable and he loved her all the more for it.   
  
    “Ok. Thank you all so much for coming I will have her review this first thing in the morning and should be by Marjorie’s to have it notarized upon signing. As witnesses I will send everyone copies of the final document.” He shook hands each in turn as they took moments to slip back into the lives they had chosen rather than those the world had handed them.  
  
    He stepped out and moved quickly back to his bedroom where Lily slept. She’d tangled herself in his blankets and had pulled every pillow on the bed into a nest around her. The bejeweled pacifier caught in her mouth bobbing as she suckled in her sleep. Carefully he toed off his shoes and slid in beside her pulling her close into him. Tomorrow morning shone like a beacon on the horizon. Tomorrow she would finally be his fully. They had a long way to go. Both in getting her to act like a proper little girl and helping her heal from everything she had been through but it was finally starting to look up. “Daddy loves his sweet baby.” He whispered into the crown of her head and meant every word of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish me luck guys I start a new job tomorrow! We'll see how it treats me working two jobs and writing two stories. Hopefully there will be Wifi and I will have time to write on the clock it is a 12 hour shift after all.
> 
> ALSO OH MY GOD I have found the most AMAZING Pony Play story ever... It's criminal Minds but you dont really need to know much about the series other than they are profilers with the FBI and Derrick is a big ole bad ass   
> http://archiveofourown.org/series/435904
> 
> LAST BUT NOT LEAST WE ARE NOW IN A PAY TO PLAY ECONOMY!!! If you want another chapter of this you need to comment. I will begin work on chapter 19 when I receive 10 comments. (My replies do not count toward the total and spamming it is just not fair play haha. If you want to see more say something for god sakes! There's even anon commenting if you want to log out and keep your name off it ;p


	19. Lunch and Ladies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily gets Lunch and makes a knew friend while Micheal gets reminded he has other responsibilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes out to BabyJack ;) You're a part of this FOREVER now... For... ever... Once it goes on the internet it never ever goes away completely so now... your immortal.

She was warm and safe. She could have stayed there for days and days. Except her stomach was empty. Carefully she moved aware of every tender twinge that pulled at her. The doctor was asleep next to her his hair falling over his face lips slightly parted. It was the first time she'd really had a chance to study him. He had the same beautiful lines to his cheeks and jaw as Nana. His hair when not pushed back was long enough to sweep his cheekbones. She had been convinced he was some crazy killer or a psychopath intent on twisting her into some strange perversion but at every turn he had proved her wrong. He had done everything to protect her. He had tried so hard to just care for her and it was breaking down her objections one at a time. There was safety here, food, clothes, and people who were watching and cared about her. He'd gotten in trouble for taking her like he had and had fought to get her back. His touches did not come with pain and he had been so careful to make sure she had been ok with it.

 

Something had happened. Something terrible. Between the basement and the pain and finding Nana. She tried to remember but the harder she tried the more her head hurt. He shifted slightly and reached across pulling her tighter into him. Panic rose for just a moment her heart pounding but then nothing else happened and soon her pulse slowed and she breathed easier once more. Was this what it was like when someone loved you? Is this how it started? Knowing you were safe?

 

Her stomach rumbled again and she wondered what time it was. How long had it been since breakfast. There were no windows anywhere in the house and that was creepy all on it's own but it made telling time difficult without the sun. She reached for his wrist the watch back in it's place from where she had stolen it. She just wanted to know what time it was. She had just barely turned his wrist to try and squint at the time when he went completely rigid.

 

“Lily, sugar, what are you doing?” There was a note of warning in his tone and Lily's breath caught. So far she had only found one way out of trouble. Being as cute as humanly possible.

 

“My watch is broke I was looking at yours.” She slid back down into the bed and curled into his chest.

 

“Your watch? What time does your watch say it is?” He smiled softly and brushed the hair back from her face.

 

“My watch says it's a hair past a freckle and your watch says it's time to feed the Lily. I am wilting!” She threw an arm dramatically over her face wincing as she could feel the pull against a healing cut on her side.

 

It hadn't escaped the Doctor's notice and he was sat up in an instant. “Lily, baby you ok? What happened? Tell Daddy what's going on.”

 

“There is no FOOD IN MY TUMMY!” She tucked her arms back down protectively around her sides. The last thing she wanted was to end up back in the clinic being poked and prodded and missing lunch. He could be all weird about her side later after he fed her. “Dadddddyyyyyy Lily is huungryyyyyy!” She put on her best pout and kicked her legs into the comforter.

 

He laughed and started pulling the blankets back. “Well let's get you lunch. What does Lily want to eat?” She wasn't fooled by his gentle touches across her middle seeking out the places she already knew were bruised or broken.

 

She pushed his hands away. “I want Macaroni with cheese. And cholocate cake. OH! And I want apple juice and pop tarts and french fries and...” He covered her mouth and she could see the laughter dancing in his eyes. He was so handsome when he smiled she could almost believe that she could really be happy here.

 

“How about chicken and some veggies and a big glass of milk? Doesn't that sound better?” Lily cocked an eyebrow at him but his hand didn't move. So she licked him.

 

Her mouth opened just enough to let her tongue out and she drug the tip slowly up the hollow of his palm. She had expected him to pull back, after all no one actually liked getting licked. Right? The reaction she actually got was far different.

 

He gasped his hand tightening over her face his pupils going wide. He closed his eyes for one long moment as his lower lip caught between his teeth. When he finally spoke his voice pitched lower and almost husky. “So was that a no?” Something fluttered low in her belly at the sound of his voice.

 

“Iwan'mack'rolly'n'chs.” she mumbled into his hand. Slowly he pulled it back his thumb dragging across her lower lip leaving tingles in its wake. His hand ended curled around her jaw while his thumb kept stroking slowly over her cheek.

 

“Baby I don't think we've got any. How about chicken today then groceries tomorrow, ok? Tonight we need to finish going over your contract and if there's anything you don't understand we can call up Charlie and he can explain it to you. You liked Charlie right?” He was trying to distract himself from whatever was passing between them. Lily wasn't sure how she felt about that. Half of her wanted him to kiss her again the other half was terrified of it. What if it had only been a fluke. _When they kiss you. You know._ Everything had been so crazy ever since... ever since... She closed her eyes against the building pain in her head. Something bad happened. Why couldn't she remember.

 

“Lily, baby are you ok? What's wrong?” He pulled back removing his hand from her face and his comforting presence from beside her. He had been the only thing keeping her grounded and the world began to spin. She ignored every ache and twinge as she shot off after him catching him before he made it fully out of the bed and burying her face in his chest breathing deeply of the scent of him. The clean smell of soap and cologne and Daddy. 

 

“The diner has Mac'n'cheese.” She mumbled content when he wrapped her in his arms again. She couldn't tell him about the bad thing. Whatever it was it was really really bad and she was sure it would be enough to make everything she had here go away. 

 

* * *

 

She melted into him when he held her again and whatever it was that caused the panic attack to start had nothing to do with his touch. He couldn't help but be grateful for that, even more that the first thing she did was cling to him for comfort. He'd done so many things wrong from the beginning he was starting to think he might never put things right between them. All she wanted was pasta, would it really be that bad to take her out to the diner? He just didn't want to overwhelm her again.

“Ok but if it's too much we're gonna get it to go. You have to promise to tell me if it's too much.” She pulled tighter into him and mumbled her agreement into his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and began to slide from the bed bringing her with him. She needed a fresh diaper and some clean clothes. He spared a quick glance at his watch. Two thirty. The diner shouldn't be too busy and there might even be a booth available by the time they got there.

 

* * *

 

He had changed her diaper his touches once again just enough to leave her squirming but not enough to begin to quench the low fire that was starting to burn within her. He'd left her with a pile of ribbons bands and bows letting her pick through them while he stepped out to grab her some clothes. He had come back with a box pulling back the tissue paper. He carefully set the card aside pulling a white onesie out. A moment later a pair of blue cover alls followed. Lily could hear something still rolling in the bottom of the box but couldn't tear her eyes away from the card sitting just to her left. There was a brown bear on the front with a yellow bow around his neck the word Philbin written along one side with a helpful arrow to the bear. Carefully she reached for it making sure he was still occupied with the contents of the box she opened it and read. 'Baby Jackie says she now owns too much pink. Blue is for girls too.' It was signed with a heart and a scrawled Michael with a blocky JACKIE in blue crayon beneath. 

 

Lily's heart fell. Whose left overs was she wearing. Who was the girl with too much pink? The creeping feeling that she wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last came over her again. Real relationships didn't work out for all sorts of reasons and things like this had a million reasons to fall apart. 

 

“We've got a green frog a yellow duck and a purple, I don't even know what that is. A panda maybe?” He held three pacifiers in his hand each color coordinated with the strap that led down to a animal clip. 

 

“Don' care.” She dropped the card and flopped back on the bed. Why did it bother her so much anyway? 

 

He picked up the card. “Don't lose that we've got to write thank you notes later. I've got about eighty presents for you downstairs and we can go through them later when we have time.” He pulled her arms through the top carefully tugging it over her head. 

 

“No body knows me. Why would anyone send me presents.” She grumbled ignoring him as he gently lifted and moved her getting her dressed. Pinning her hair up with two green bows before clipping the frog to the shoulder strap. 

 

“Because, when you went missing we turned the whole forest upside down looking for you. I know this is a lot to take in baby but,” He paused taking a deep breath and she narrowed her eyes at him trying to figure out what on earth he was getting at. “I'm kind of in charge here. Every bit of land is in my name. My grandfather founded the place and at the end of the day I'm in charge of everything. Sometimes people try to be extra nice to me or people I care about because of that. I care about you a lot. So it kinda made sense as soon as people found out you were here they were gonna start being extra nice to you. After all wouldn't you be extra nice to a princess just because her Daddy was king? You're kinda like their princess.”  


“How could I possibly have too much pink! I don't have ANY clothes! That's why I had to keep wearing those stupid nightgowns. I have ONE dress and it's Purple!” He laughed and reached out to pick her up again. Lily wrapped her arms and legs around him letting him carry her snuggling into his neck. 

 

“Well baby Jackie and Mike run the shops. So they kinda know exactly what everyone got for you. I'm gonna guess that a whole lot of it was pink. But I promise if there's anything there you don't like we can take it back and swap it for something different.” Lily wasn't listening anymore snuggled into his arms. She wanted to stay there forever. Nothing bad ever happened when he was holding her. It was when he let go that the bad things started. 

 

She tucked her head into his neck. If there was a way to bottle up the smell of him she wanted to get one and keep it forever. She paid no attention to how they ended up in the garage. The only thing she knew for sure was it wasn't through the clinic. He opened the back door of a sleek black car and slid her into a car seat big enough to fit her comfortably. He was buckling her in carefully adjusting the straps when she finally asked, “I thought people used golf carts here?”

 

“Mmm Nana uses one. She never really learned how to drive but I need something a bit faster just in case there's an emergency. We're spread out over a good fifty miles at the farthest points. There's a lot of nothing out this way. It's hundreds of miles of nothing between us and the closest people and even then those are small towns. You comfortable baby? Is it too tight?” She shook her head but still clung to his wrist scared to let him go. He sat on the edge of the door frame and didn't try to remove his hand just let her hold on. After a few minutes she realized she was either going to have to let him go or not get anything to eat. 

 

Carefully she let go of his wrist and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head before sliding into the front seat. He backed out of the garage and she took a moment to look at the house from the outside. The first floor was slightly bigger than the second. The Clinic looked like it had been an addition and there were places where windows had clearly once been even if they were bricked over now. She watched as they broke through the trees and back into a cluster of houses. She recognized a few from her walk with Nana. That was where she had seen Devlin hanging out the window. There had been statues in the front lawn where now there were only empty pedestals. 

 

They slowed and came to a stop as a man in a uniform waved them down. She curled into herself as he rolled down the window. “James? Everything alright? We were just heading over to grab something to eat. I should have those papers on your desk by tomorrow afternoon.” 

 

The man held something out and her Daddy took it with a chuckle. “Sorry, Kinda wrecked the last one. Everything alright?”

 

“Yeah but you know I like to be able to get in touch with you if I need to. I've already activated that one. Rose has been trying to get in contact with you so you might want to call her back and Margaret should be flying in first thing tomorrow morning. She said something about getting a house you have anything in particular in mind?” Lily couldn't help the low whine that escaped her throat. The bad man had worn a uniform too. Without turning Daddy reached back and wrapped a hand gently around her ankle. He rubbed small circles into her skin and everything suddenly calmed. She pushed her leg up so he didn't have to reach so far. Her eyes drifted closed as she got lost in the sensation of his gentle careful touch. Nothing bad could happen if he held her. He wouldn't let it. With her eyes closed she missed the smile that crossed the Sheriff's face. “I'm glad that's working out for you.” 

 

“We're working on it. But let her have anything she wants that's open in the village. Also go ahead and tell anyone without a permanent place she's taking applications but I promised her Evangeline would make time for her when she got back. She's still coming in right?” 

 

The Sheriff chuckled. “You know you could just call her. She's more likely to answer you than me.”

 

“I'm not in the mood to play 20 questions with her. I'll get enough of that once she gets here. How did Rose sound when she called? Was it more God I hate him why is he not answering or help me god I'm freaking out?” 

 

“Much more happy excited big news couldn't wait to talk to you. Wouldn't tell me anything.”

 

“Ok I'll call her. I promise I will try not to smash this one and if I do I'll replace it immedetely. Hey can you get someone over to my house to program a universal remote. I have no idea what I did with the last ones and arrange for a medical transport to drop Voldemort in the lady boy district of Thailand. You know what to do.” 

 

Lily could hear the Sheriff chuckle. “Alright I'll take care of it. You behave yourself young lady.” Lily finally looked over at him and glared. 

 

“Where's Danny? I liked him better.” She watched the look of surprise cross his face and immediately grew suspicious. No sir, she did not like him at all. She would much rather deal with Danny. He was nice. He helped take care of her till Nana came. 

 

“He's uh... busy. I can make sure he stops by to say hi sometime if you like. Your Daddy can help work that out.” Lily didn't bother responding. She simply turned and glared out the window ignoring him completely. “Alright I'll catch you later please don't forget to call Rose or she's going to keep blowing my phone up.”

 

The Sheriff stepped away and they were on their way again. “Sweetheart, I didn't know you were friends with Daniel.”

 

She heaved a great sigh and pushed her foot harder into his hand. “He took care of me. He was there, when...”

 

* * *

 

He watched her in the rear-view mirror. He was well aware of what Daniel had been witness to. He watched as she trailed off her brows knitting together as her breaths came shorter and shallower. He pulled over to the side of the road and climbed into the back with her popping the belts on her car seat and hauling her into his lap. Soon her breaths slowed and the shaking in her limbs stopped. 

 

“He took care of me. He kept me safe after... he made it stop.” She whispered softly against his chest and Micheal resolved then and there to find something nice to do for the man. He had blamed the deputy for so many things while she was gone and had taken quite a bit of his own fears anger and frustrations out on him. In the end Lily had been the hero in the eyes of everyone who had known Powers. According to Daniel's report she had drawn his gun so fluidly clicking off the safety and dropping shot after shot into Powers without a single one missing it's mark. He couldn't say for sure if it would have ended like it did if she hadn't put six bullets in the bastard. 

 

“I'm glad you came back to me safe. We're almost to the diner. Do you wanna get some lunch or you wanna cuddle a little longer?” She reached up wrapping her arms around his neck. 

 

“Feed me Seymour. And I not walking. Carry me.” He chuckled and popped the back door sliding out propping her up on his hip. She was adorable and if he wasn't careful pretty soon she was going to have him wrapped completely around her finger. 

 

* * *

 

She didn't want to talk about it anymore but more than that she didn't want him to let her go. She clung to him until her fingers ached as they slid into a nearly empty diner. This time instead of a great cry going up a hush fell over the entire room even the sound of silverware on dishes stopped and Lily was suddenly self conscious. Was everyone staring at them? Maybe they should have just gotten take out after all. They made their way to the back and he slid into a booth pushing the table back a bit to fit her in on his lap. 

 

“People are staring aren't they?” She whispered refusing to lift her face out of hiding. 

 

“No their just, not used to seeing me here. What you want other than Macaroni and Cheese? You had a whole list earlier.” He rubbed her back gently and she was sure he was if not lying at the very least stretching the truth. He wasn't even trying to get her to stop hiding and she was sure every eye in the place was on them. She twisted and wiggled until he loosed his grip and then in one fluid motion slid under the table. She was supprised to find the floor had pads then again as many people sat under the tables earlier it made sense. There away from the stares she wrapped herself around one of his legs. 

 

“Salsa and french fries and apple juice. Oh and cake! I want cake.” It was safe here under the table and she began to breathe easier. 

 

* * *

 

Marigold couldn't blame the few scattered patrons for their shock at seeing the high and mighty Micheal Blackstone coming down for something as simple as a late lunch. She knew him better than most and what others took for a superior attitude she knew was just him being uncomfortable with his position. He had never wanted it and would have been much happier simply being a doctor. He might have never come back letting the succession fall elsewhere if the world outside hadn't gotten to him. 

 

He had saved her from an abusive boyfriend and even if this wasn't really her scene sexually people here honestly cared about each other. Everyone paid attention and it was the very definition of a village coming together to care for everyone. The girl herself was pretty enough but when she slid beneath the table she watched her old friend smile and fight valiantly trying not to break out in laughter. She hadn't seen him smile since before Andrea had stomped all over him. That little trollop would still be banned from the diner if he hadn't insisted that people couldn't hold it against her. 

 

She approached slowly making sure the girl had a good line of sight. The news bulletins were usually more than a round up of the gossip that had already made the rounds clearing up anything that they had gotten wrong. The very very slim details meant that the gossip about what happened while she was missing was most likely completely true and no one had the stomach to repeat it in print. She approached and leaned in planting kisses on both cheeks. “Allo Allo! What are you having today?”

 

“Lily wants Macaroni and cheese with french fries and a side of salsa. She'll have an apple juice with that. Lily, baby you need a vegetable with that. What do you want?” He tried calling under the table. 

 

“CARROT CAKE!” Came the cry from under the table and Micheal had to slap a hand over his mouth to stifle the laugh.

 

“Baby that's not a vegetable.”

 

“YES IT IS IT'S CARROT!”

 

Marigold couldn't help but snicker at that. “I have fried green beans. She will like those. I bring them with her food. What for you?”

 

“You've fed me for years just whatever you think I'll like. Thank you Mari.” She smiled at him patting his cheek gently. He deserved to be happy and she liked the smile the girl put on his face. 

 

“You want I should bring her some Lego?”

 

“No.” Micheal answered even as the girl cried. “YES!” From under table. 

 

“Yeah. Bring her the legos.” Marigold smiled and made her way back into the kitchens. He was happy and that's all Marigold needed to know.

 

* * *

 

Lily liked it under the table it was much better than letting people stare at her. He let her settle in between his legs and just be. It was quiet and safe there but before long she wasn't alone. A woman came wiggling under the the benches and stuck her head into Lily's little haven. “Hi! I'm Jackie! Do you like your present? I told daddy you needed more than just pink and he let me pick anything I wanted. Do you like it? I like those their pretty comfortable for just everyday stuffs I sent you some pretty sexy things too. You should come by the shops we just got all the new Frontier Girls in but we only have like Four of Charlotte. If you want one I can hold onto one for you. We had five but Daddy let me keeps one. I have the whole set!” 

 

“I don't have any of them at all. I had Elizabeth a long time ago but, I haven't seen her for a long time.” Lily wrapped an arm around her Daddy's leg tugging it to cross over her chest clinging to him with both arms. She didn't want to get in trouble for talking to people under the table. But Jackie couldn't be that bad. He had told her about her and her Daddy earlier. 

 

“I wish you lived in Little Town with the rest of us then I could come over and see you all the time. We could go to the park and we could play on the swings and the seesaw. I could show you the rock garden! It's really cool! It's like a regular garden but with all these awesome rocks and some of them have surprises inside like you would never know it cuz it looks like a regular rock but you open it up and there are jewels and stuff!” Lily smiled softly as the girl just rattled on. She seemed pretty cool and didn't want to talk about any of the bad stuff. 

 

“When I get my Legos you wanna put them on the big thing with me?” Lily offered.

 

“Oh YES! I... EEP!” She squealed as she was suddenly drug backwards. 

 

Terrified Lily shot out from under the table to find the next booth over a large man had scooped her new friend up and was covering her with little kisses. “What were you doing down there silly girl? Food's getting cold and we need to get back to the shop.” 

 

Lily jumped as Micheal wrapped an arm gently around her tugging her back. “I see you met Jackie. Hey Mike, it seems the girls were crawling around under the tables making friends.”

 

The larger man turned in his seat and gave them a smile. “Well it's nice to meet you Miss Lily. Look baby she's got your present on. I think she liked it.” Lily nodded dumbly backing up into her Daddy unsure about the new man.

 

“Your food's almost here. You want to share a table. The girls can keep talking and maybe get Jacks to eat something. Hmm? You gonna eat if Miss Lily is eating baby?” Jackie nodded and blushed and Micheal guided her over and into the other booth with Jackie and her daddy. The girls scooted around the end of the horse shoe till they sat side by side. Lily shoved her feet back into Micheal's lap and he dropped one hand to her ankle maintaining contact anchoring her to the world and letting her relax. 

 

* * *

 

By the time they had finished eating Lily and Jackie had traded at least half of their lunches back and forth. She hadn't paid any attention to what the guys discussed but it was nice to have a friend who seemed to understand what was going on with her. She'd even been introduced to Philbin in the fur. When they couldn't drag lunch out any longer Micheal had promised to take her by the shops soon and the girls had hugged their good byes. 

 

“And she's got ALL THE FRONTIER GIRLS! Even Elizabeth whose been retired for like forever. I had an Elisabeth once. But Charlotte is the new one and she promised to save me one if I wanted but I don't want to get in the way of anyone else being able to get one so I told her to let someone else get it because it's only fair and she says there are like a billion Littles in Little town. Well ok not like a billion but at least like fifty! I asked if she knew Charlie and Andrea and you know she knows Charlie! She says he doesn't stay all the time but she does. She's always here! And she shared her chocolate cake but we both liked the carrot cake better because the carrot cake was AWESOME! Did you know she made such awesome Carrot Cake.” Lily didn't even notice as they went right past the car she was so excited about her new friend until they stepped into a rather official looking building and into an office. She recognized the woman at the desk almost immediately. It was the lady who let her have the bagels all the way back at the clinic. 

 

“Rose has been calling she would you like you to call her back and Evangeline put in a single call to inform you she will be arriving a day early and she wants someone who isn't an idiot to make sure there's a house ready.” The lady smiled warmly at her with the exact same expression she had used that very first day in the clinic. “Well hello Miss Lily, are you having a good day?”

 

Lily could do nothing but gape in surprise. What was she doing here!?

 

“Thank you Carol, I'm well aware she's been calling anyone with a phone who might possibly run into me. I just wanted to sync my new phone real quick. Is my office unlocked?” She turned and unlocked the door behind her. “Thank you dear. Do you think they've figured out your the real power around here? I swear I'd fall apart without you.” 

 

“Uh huh. The only thing I have that you might find a hard time replacing is discretion. Your cradle should still be hooked up and I did make sure to sync everything back from the clinic computers when we came home.” The phone rang and she picked it up. “Micheal Blackstone's office how can I help you Miss Rosemarie? Hold on one moment. Mister Blackstone are you in currently?” 

 

Every trace of amusement fell from his face. “I am now. I'll take it in the office. Can you take Lily for a little while get her set up someplace so I can take this call.” 

 

“Yes Miss he'll be right with you I'm just going to place you on hold for one moment. Yes Miss I am aware.” Carol put the call on hold as Michael lowered Lily to stand on her own. “Miss Rose says she knows I'm too good at my job to disconnect her so if she loses the call she knows you hung up on her.” She held a hand out to Lily. “Why don't you come with me. We do have a play room here for Littles.”

 

Lily turned to Micheal begging with her eyes not to be left alone. “I'm sorry baby I really need to deal with this. If you have to blame someone blame Carol I've been avoiding her rather successfully for the last week. I'll be back soon as I can.” He stepped into his office and picked up the phone. “Rose, lovely to hear from you. Wait, what? That's fu... Hold on.” He stepped over and shut the door between them. The click of the latch echoed in her ears like the tolling of a doom bell. She followed as Carol took her hand and led her down the hall into the play room. There were toys and games of all sorts for all ages but none of it interested her. 

 

“What would you like to do sweetie?” Carol asked but Lily's thoughts were stuck on the closed door. 

 

There was a knock in the doorway. “Carol did that fax ever come through? I really need to get that signed and sent back.” 

 

“Yes! Ok Lily you'll be ok by yourself for a few minutes right? I'm gonna leave the door open and I'll be right down the hall!” Carol popped out going after the fax and the gentleman. 

 

Lily moved to the bay window and settled into the seat watching the street below. She just wanted her Daddy back. The Sun was warm on her face and she relaxed leaning agasint the window soon she became lost watching the people moving about below making up conversations they were having. “Hello Mister Brown Hat you look like your having a good day today. Yes Mister Blue Jeans my slave has been particularly good today and I'm thinking about hanging her out a window by her nipples. Oh that sounds lovely have a nice day!” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who the holy hell are all these women who want to talk to Daddy Michael?!?! Also if you notice The Community is now part of a series. Come check out The Community: Her Stallion (alternate title The Princess and The Pony I dont know I might change it.) It ends up set about four years before this one. It's got our FAVORITE KENYAN GOD OF PONY PLAY and his Rider Anna (or Anya to her fams) and how they came to be. We also begin to understand why Anna gave Miss Jolene such a dirty look the day she came to the stables. Don't worry Jesus will get his own Concurrent story too but not until the main story hits that point.


	20. That Bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to remind you all I said I was going back to the original stories for alot of people that I was pressured away from I am not sorry about any of it... Life is shitty sometimes and we make the best of it 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING THERE IS A BRIEF DISCUSSION OF AN ABORTION THAT DID NOT END WELL IT IS NOT ANYONE WE HAVE EVER MET AND I DO NOT INTEND TO EVER DISCUSS IT AGAIN IT IS LITERALLY ONE LINE
> 
> I have my own personal views on abortion. This is not a place to discuss it and I am not sharing those views. Once again This is a story with adult themes. Little or not we must be willing to accept the ugly truths of the world.
> 
> Also we get a little boy/boy love goin! WHOO!!!

She had long ago given up her game of making up conversations and just contented herself to watch the world peacefully pass by. It wasn't so bad and if she sat just so her aches and pains faded to a point she could completely ignore them. She wasn't sure when he showed up or how long he had been standing there when he broke the silence yelling at her. “Lily, Come here. Right now. Lily god dammit get the fuck out of the window!” Lily jumped, she hadn't done anything. She was just sitting quietly she wasn't even talking any more. “LILY NOW!” She slid from her seat and began to move toward him. It felt like there were lead weights on her feet. She wasn't sure what she had done to make him so angry. She was barely within three feet of him when he lunged forward and snatched her wrist dragging her into the hallway shutting the door behind them. She stepped into him trying to remind him she was his sweet girl. He pulled her tight against his chest and slid to the floor shaking as he wrapped his arms around her. “Don't do that. Don't ever ever scare me like that.”

 

She was completely lost. She wasn't even sure what she had done but he seemed terrified. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. “I'm sorry Daddy I won't do it again. I'm sorry I scared you.” She ran careful fingers through his hair and kissed his head gently. Soon his breathing slowed and they just sat in the hall holding each other.

 

* * *

 

 

Carol was used to Micheal's temper and from the sound of things coming out of the office Rose had been hitting all his buttons and had managed to work him into a fine pique in a record twenty minutes. He was none to pleased when he found out she'd left Lily to get some work done but the girl hadn't made a peep since she'd left her in the play room. It wasn't like she was actually a toddler. She could be trusted not to kill herself for half an hour. Sometimes she felt like he completely forgot that she was working to keep everyone here back in contact with the real world as unobtrusively as possible so their real life businesses interests didn't go down in flames while they played their little games.

 

It wasn't until he started screaming for her to get out of the window that Carol knew the girl had honestly and truly fucked up. There was no way she could be that stupid. Wasn't that window nailed shut anyway? Carol crept to the corner and peeked down the hall. She might have felt for the girl but no where near enough to get in the way of Mister Blackstone on a rampage. She watched heart in her throat fully prepared to watch her take the brunt of his anger. He pulled her roughly out of the room and she melted against him. It was like magic as all the tension melted out of him. Anger gave way and they sunk slowly to the floor. She watched this tiny slip of a girl as they spoke softly to each other.

 

She had never seen anything like it. One moment he was all rage and fury and the next, He was holding her gingerly kissing her softly whispering to her as tears ran down his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

He had spent far too much time dealing with Rose putting out the fires she had started both in the business and her personal life. It had taken two calls and two giant favors but it was done. Carol never should have left Lily alone. She wasn't doing well right now and he still wasn't convinced she wasn't suicidal after everything Powers had done to her. He'd been trying to shelter her from the foul mood dealing with his sister always caused. But when he found her there in the window it all came rushing back to the surface.

 

It felt like he had been frozen in the doorway for decades. She had been sitting in the window leaning against the glass. They were on the second story. He was dizzy just remembering it. He couldn't think and he could barely breathe when he called out several times trying to ask her to come back over but he could barely manage a whisper. Over and over again all he could see was Clay falling. His heart was pounding in his ears and he couldn't shake the image of her broken on the ground by the time he finally manged to get loud enough for her to hear he was in a full blown panic.

 

“My brother fell out of a window when we were little.” Every one knew the story. His fears of falling and his refusal to have windows above the first story were one of the first things people associated with him. He had always dismissed it not caring knowing they needed something to make him human but for the first time it occurred to him that no one had ever told her. For the first time in his life the entire ugly truth came pouring out.

 

“We were fighting over something stupid he had said. He'd been trying to get a rise out of me, trying to make me defend myself and I wouldn't hit him back. If I had just, if I had just hit him back he'd still be here. He took a swing at me and I just side stepped. He overbalanced and fell through the window. He broke his neck. I just need you to please please be more careful.” She didn't judge him she just cradled him close and kissed him gently.

 

He was supposed to be the strong one and he was supposed to take care of her but when he fell she caught him. “I'm sorry I didn't know. It's not your fault it was just an accident. You gotta take deep breaths. I'm an expert on panic attacks so you gotta listen to me. Breathe with me.” She cradled his face gently brushing the end of her nose to his. She guided him to breathe slowly and deeply and when he could finally comply he felt the fear and rage letting go and pulling back.

 

“I don't even know what I did to deserve you.” He whispered softly as his forehead came to rest against hers. She laughed in that soft musical lilting tone she got when she was truly amused.

 

“You refused to take no for an answer silly. You took care of me when I was so afraid to let anyone even try. I'm still afraid but you are too and that makes it a bit more ok.” She paused then and licked her lips in nervous habit before she started to speak again. She closed her eyes for a long moment and took a deep breath. Something in her posture changed and a new gravity came over her. When her eyes opened once more she stared off away from him getting lost somewhere between being big and little. There was a difference between giving a piece of one self and giving submission. She was opening a door to the woman beneath and he felt honored. “Something bad happened. When I was lost. Something really really bad and I can't remember what it was. I keep trying and it makes my head hurt. Something happened when Danny came and saved me and I keep thinking I can almost remember. But then my head hurts like it's gonna crack open and I can't breathe and I'm so scared that it was so bad you're never gonna love me again.” By the time she finished she was shaking again. But she hadn't relaxed into him.

 

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about the revelation. He probably shouldn't have been so happy about it. In the end it might be better if she never remembered what happened. That sort of burden sat heavy on your soul and if she thought it was Daniel then he was just going to go on letting her believe that. There would be no trial after Powers had a stroke that left him little more than a vegetable. The gruesome details never actually had to come out. “Lily I already know what happened in the basement. All of it. The man who took you, Augustus Powers, he's hurt other people before. Before when the rules were different. He wasn't ever supposed to be able to do it to anyone else again and that's why he stole you and tried to use you to hurt me. I will never blame you for what happened.” Carefully he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Someday soon the bruises will fade and the cuts will heal. You're so damn strong. You met Apollo and Li I hear. The three of you are so much stronger than anyone else will ever know. I was so afraid that he had hurt something so much deeper than just your skin. But Lily,” Careful fingers turned her head to look at him. “You were so much stronger than I knew. I'm amazed and impressed by you. I want you to know that. You survived and how ever you did it was worth it. He was a monster. The world doesn't make many of them but it takes a hero to survive them.”

 

She closed the distance between them suddenly and kissed him. Long slow drugging kisses that made everything around them pale in importance. He tugged her closer and she melted into him She was warm and pliant under his hands and if they hadn't been in the hall of the Council Building the moment might have ended very differently.

 

In the end she pulled back slowly, “Everything keeps muddling my head up and I don't know what I want. I just know I don't want to be afraid anymore. I've been so afraid for so long of so many things. I'm just tired of being afraid.”

 

He stroked her face gently carefully choosing his words. “Lily if you can try to trust me I'm going to do everything I can to give you a life you don't need to be afraid of anything. I want to keep you safe and make you so happy but you need to trust me. Can we try that for a little while. You trust I'm not going to hurt you and let me try. We've got a contract drawn up with the things you talked about with Charlie and Devlin this morning. We added a few more things because other people who have been on your side of things felt they were important for you. Please Lily just let me take care of you.” His heart lodged in his throat as he waited for her to answer. He handed her his hopes and dreams and heart and had given her the knife to cut them into a thousand pieces.

 

“What happens if I say no?” He didn't know something so soft could cut so keenly.

 

“We can get you moved into the Home with your friend Jesus. You'll end up going through the more traditional training programs where they teach you all the small things and you learn the rules of living here. Then when you graduate someone else can come talk to you and you can see if you want to be with them. But I can't sit here and watch you go be happy with someone else. Rose has been running the businesses where all my money comes from. I'd go help her for a while. There are other people who can do what I do here and I'd let one of them take over. Life would go on. No one would blame you. Their all pretty amazed that you keep putting up with me.” He smiled softly but it was forced and pained. He could feel the knife against his rib cage pressing into his chest.

 

“What happens if I say yes?” His eyes shut and he dropped his head back. If ever there was a time for honesty it was now. They both lay with hearts open and bared to the other.

 

“I do my absolute best to keep you safe and happy. I listen when you tell me you need something and you listen when I tell you to mind. Because in the end you trust I'm only trying to take care of you and do what's best. But if something happens that bothers you or hurts you I'm not perfect and I'm not psychic. You need to tell me and I'll try and make it right. The rules aren't there to hurt you sweetheart they're there to protect you. Sometimes I can't tell you everything and that's where the trust comes in.” He held his breath waiting. He'd laid it all out the good and the bad. He would never be able to explain why or how he loved her it didn't even make sense to him. All he knew what that any minute she was going to decide the rest of his life and he could do nothing but wait.

 

She lay her head against his chest and he was sure she could hear the beating of his heart pounding in his chest. He held her tighter knowing it might be the last time he had the chance.

 

“I wanna try. I feel safe with you. I really shouldn't. You are the guy who kidnapped me and dragged me here and everything but, I can't help it. I trust you.” He pulled her close and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. They sat like that a long time in silence. If anyone spotted them they wisely did not intrude and the pair were left alone to simply bask in each other and the first small steps they had taken together as one.

 

* * *

 

 

Training was exhausting. Jesus decided as he collapsed into his bed. He had an hour before dinner would be served and he fully intended to not move from this spot for that whole hour. He had no idea when he began this crazy journey he'd psychologically test into something as demanding as pet play. He had tried to be as honest as possible with the test knowing it would only hurt him in the long run if he tried to manipulate the results.

 

He heard the door to his room open but he ignored it. His room mate had a habit of popping in and out at all sorts of ungodly hours. It wasn't until the edge of the bed dipped with someone's weight that he even tried to lift his head and look but when warm hands slid over his back pushing into the muscles he gave up and collapsed back with a groan. Warm laughter washed over him but the back rub didn't stop and he was too sore to move anyway. They worked over his back and down each of his arms. They shifted slightly and began to work down his legs before long he was little more than a puddle under the unknown hands. He decided in that moment he was in love with whoever owned those hands. They could have his dessert that night. He was gently rolled to his back and his breath caught in his throat.

 

“Doc-Doctor Blackstone? Where's Lilly?” He managed to stutter out his eyes glancing around the room. She was ok right? She seemed ok when he had seen her yesterday if a bit worn down by her ordeal.

 

“Sorry pup, not that Blackstone.” His hand was still warm as he splayed them across Jesus' bare stomach and began to rub slow circles up over his chest and down beneath his navel. “You've been doing rather well. I watched your lessons today.”

 

Jesus could barely wrap his mind around it. They looked so much alike. The same dark hair and intense eyes. They even had the same strong jaw. He was a beautiful man and Jesus arched up into his touch.

 

“You're file says you're not attracted to women but I've seen you watching the girls. So what is it pup? What do you like?” His hands were distracting as they moved over sore muscles and dipped just beneath the small shorts he wore. There was no hunger in his touch but after such a long exhausting day it was making it hard to think clearly. Stick as close to the truth as possible he reminded himself.

 

“I like girls too but, it was easier to tell Lily I didn't. I just never looked at her like that she needed a friend so bad. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.” He gasped as the Masters's hand moved over the outside of his shorts cupping him and rolling his palm against the swell. Jesus' hands balled into the pillow under his head.

 

“Is it alright if we keep talking like this? I had some questions for you if that's ok.” It was perfect, Jesus thought but never allowed those words to pass his lips. The Blackstones were an extraordinarily powerful family both here and in the wider world. If the man was interested he knew it was an amazing opportunity. He hadn't come all this way to stay stuck in the Home under long hours of training.

 

“Yes sir.” It came out on a breathy whisper needy and wanting and the chuckle that came in response didn't even bother him. The shorts were tugged down and his erection jumped free bouncing softly against his belly before the Master took him in hand. He settled beside Jesus on his narrow bed and hooked one leg around trapping his left leg between strong muscular thighs. Slow steady strokes were already causing a fire to heat in his belly.

 

“I'd really prefer if you called me Master. Can you do that for me pup?”

 

Jesus nodded as he tried to remember how to form words while soft full lips ghosted over his ear. Suddenly the tender touch became hard and punishing as he stroked down pushing against his balls holding a grip around his base that refused to allow his erection to flag at the sudden change of sensation. Jesus cried out at the sudden change.

 

“I need your words pup. This isn't much of a conversation if you don't speak to me. Answer my questions and I'll make sue you are taken care of. I expect prompt responses and if you can't talk like this I can leave.” As if to prove his point he lifted back gently and Jesus scrambled to make him stay.

 

“Sorry! I'm sorry. I'll be better.” The Master just held his position still as stone until he hastily tacked “Master.” on the end.

 

“Such a good pup. You train well enough.” He settled in the warm bulk beside him comforting. The last few nights of sleep had been interrupted by nightmares calling out for someone who would never answer. “Where were you born pup?”

 

“Guisa, Master.” That was right wasn't it? Oh god he could barely think when he twisted his hand like that.

 

“How old were you when you moved to the states?” He picked up the pace his hand twisting up the legenth his thumb rising to pull back the foreskin brushing over his over sensitive head at the crest of each stroke and fingers roaming down over his balls at the base.

 

“Diez y... Ten Master I was ten.” He was losing his train of thought as it went on. One question after the next. Where did he grow up? What was his mothers name? Did he miss his family? When was the last time he was tested? Had he ever been fucked by a man before? Did he like it? How much schooling did he complete?

 

He was so close he could taste it in the back of his throat. The Master had begun placing soft slow kisses along the underside of his jaw keeping him pinned to the bed as he worked him over higher and higher until he was beginning to forget his own name. “Whose name do you cry in the night?”

 

Jesus came with a strangled cry that quickly became a sob. “No. No please no. Anything else please ask me anything else.” He didn't want to think about that now. But it was too late he was tired and wrung out after the long day followed by the Master's tender attentions. He did not ask again but caught his cries into a kiss hard and demanding of his attentions drawing him back from the dark places his mind had gone.

 

“That's a good pup hush now. You've made a mess.” He held his hand up to Jesus mouth. “Come on pup clean it up.” He cleaned his hand with long flat swipes of his tongue as the Master collected every drop from his stomach and fed it back to Jesus. When he was finished the Master ruffled his hair. “That's a good pup. I have some things to go take care of but I need you to promise me you won't run off with anyone else until I get back. At least give me a chance to plead my case.

 

He was boneless and empty spent in so many ways and he nodded before the hand on his hip tightened fractionally and he quickly remembered the warning. “Yes Master. I've still got six weeks left of my training sir. I've been told I won't be able to leave until I finish the opening courses.”

 

“You would be amazed at the number of ways around it. Promise me pup. Promise you'll wait till I return for you.” He kissed him again and drove all thought from the younger mans mind.

 

“I, I promise Master.” He whispered against the Master's lips.

 

“Such a good pup.” He slid from the bed and helped Jesus stand as well sliding the small shorts back on him. “You're going to miss dinner if you don't hurry It should be starting soon.” When they stepped out of the room Jesus came to a sudden stop. Mistress Pamela stood there long platinum hair braided over her shoulder clad in leather the ever present riding crop tapping into her open palm. He'd already felt it's sting a few times and had no wish to feel it ever again.

 

“If I've told you once I have told you a thousand times. This is not your personal brothel.” The Master behind him laughed loud and openly and wrapped an arm around Jesus bare chest pulling him back into him.

 

“Tell the Mistress truly, did I fuck you boy?”

 

“N-no sir.” Jesus wasn't sure who was in trouble here as she narrowed her eyes at them.

 

The Master began stroking and petting across the expanse of his chest and Jesus leaned back into him shying back from her wrath. “We had a nice chat. I have to head out and take care of a few things. Someone wants to buy a company I recently acquired and I have some other business to attend to. Would you like me to bring you anything? I'll be in L.A. and New York but I should return in a week or two. I might want to keep this one. He's got so much promise despite everything else and it's been so long since we've had anything so playful and exotic as a fox.”

 

“Speak to your brother about it before you go. Don't antagonize him. You're departure doesn't have anything to do with the arrival of Miss Jolene would it? You're better than that running off like a child.” Her expression never softened until the Master stepped around Jesus and planted a kiss on her cheek.

 

There was a tenderness between the two that spoke of a long acquaintance and Jesus filed it away with everything else he had learned since coming here. “You have my word of honor the two have nothing to do with each other. Just be gentle with my boy. You know I hate it when you drive all the spirit out of them.”

 

For the first time since Jesus had met the woman she smiled softly and patted the Master's arm. “I promise, I will not break him but do not expect any special treatment either. If he misses dinner because you wanted to play he's going to go without you know.”

 

“Run along to dinner boy, and don't forget your promise.” He never even turned away from Mistress Pamela as Jesus mumbled a hasty, 'Yes Master.' and ran off to get some dinner.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily had spent every moment she could glued to her Daddy since the incident in the hall. The world was simply calmer in his arms. They had eaten a light dinner where he had once again gotten onto her about her vegetables and she had grudgingly ate them. They had barely been settled into his recliner as she only half watched the movie he had playing on the television. There was a chime from the general direction of the door and he heaved a great sigh. “Baby I'm sorry that's the clinic door. You want to come down with me?” She nodded hastily and scooted from his lap so he could get up. He took her hand and led her down. When they stepped into the clinic her heart stopped.

 

There was no doubt the two men were related. They had the same hair and jaw even if the eyes were a bit different the newcomer's a bit darker and his hair had more of a curl to it and rather than being slicked back he had it cut closer letting the curls fall messily over the top of his head.

 

“Mason. What are you doing here?' Micheal guided Lily to one of the various rolling chairs and walked over to shake the other mans hand. “You know my mother's in town.”

 

“I heard. So is this the famous Miss Lily? Hello there miss Lily. It's a pleasure to meet you.” Lily didn't miss the way her Daddy took one step to the left moving between the two.

 

“Mason, why are you here? It's not like you to make social calls.” Micheal cut him off.

 

“I came to talk to you about a few things. Rose wants to buy Elician Pharmaceuticals. She's been making offers but honestly I didn't want to part with it. Put a whole lot of work into the hostile take over. I'm no longer convinced we can't come to an agreement though. It seems you have something I would like to have even if it's not necessary. Which leads to the second reason why I came. I'm sure you're aware I've been, shall we say, particular since everything with Molly ended like it did.”

 

Micheal's posture softened immediately and he stepped forward toward his brother. “Mason, I'm really sorry. No one, no one had any idea. You know I would have helped if she had just...”

 

Mason cut him off with a swift wave of his hand. “Please Mikey, We do not need to discuss such things in front of,” He inclined his head in Lily's direction. She was on the edge of her seat now. How many siblings did he have? Mason seemed really nice so far and she was looking forward to getting to know him like she had gotten to know Nana. “What's done is done. As it stands I have taken an interest in another. He's got such a playful spirit but I wanted to inform you of my intent. If you agree not to stand in the way of my claim I do not see a reason I would continue to stand in the way of Blackstone Group's purchase of my little drug company. We're on the verge of a malaria vaccine able to be administered orally. But I'm sure you already knew that. It's the whole reason you want it after all. But for a cup of cream you need to buy the whole cow.”

 

They were getting boring again and Lily stopped paying attention in favor of trying to see if she could get the chair to spin all the way around on a single push.

 

“Who could you possibly...”

 

“Fox, currently goes by the name Jesus. As soon as she caught me watching him I was told I was treading on rocky ground and Mother suggested I speak to you before it went any further. I promise you I want to remain friends and this wasn't some ploy I wasn't trying to get anywhere or anything from you. I'm just asking your blessing. I don't want to sell Elician but I understand you most likely don't want to give me your blessing either. It seemed a fair enough trade and then no one can claim further favor.”

 

Lily was suddenly very interested. She jumped from her chair and moved over behind her Daddy. “Really?! It's soooo depressing over there and it would be so cool if we could see each other sometime. Do you live around here? Do you stay here or do you come and go? Would Jesus stay when you leave or does he go with you like Charlie leaves?”

 

Mason laughed and smiled widely at her leaning into the nearest hospital bed. “Well, Did Andrea put you off proper young ladies Mikey? She just goes a mile a minute doesn't she? Well Miss Lily I live over near the park it's between Little Town and the Village so it's about a ten or fifteen minute walk. Half a mile or so if you cut along the foot paths. I do have to go take care of somethings with my business so I leave every now and then but usually it's only for a few weeks most of my business I do by phone and that really depends on Jesus and your Daddy. He still hasn't said the magic words. Because as much as I like you're little friend I really want Daddy Micheal to be ok with it first.”

 

Lily turned and put on her best begging look. When he didn't immediately crumble she decided she needed to work on it a bit more. “Pleeease! Oh PLEASE!!!”

 

He leaned down and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Scooch back upstairs I just wanna talk to Mason for a minute then I'll be right there. I just wanna think about it for a minute ok?”

 

Lily dropped a kiss on his cheek and ran right back up the stairs unwilling to gamble her friends future happiness on something as silly as wanting to know what was going on.

 

* * *

 

 

“You are a dirty rotten shit eating douche bag. You totally used her against me. That and I would appreciate if you didn't bring Andrea up. My mother introduced them and she likes her. I haven't figured out how to tell Lily there's no way she get's to actually be friends with the cunt.” Micheal turned back to his half brother who was grinning at him.

 

“You have a foul mouth you know that? Is that what they taught you in medical school? To swear like a sailor once all the little ears were out of the room?” Mason didn't have to admit he had manipulated Lily against him. The lack of denial was enough. “Besides you started it going off about Grace like that. What a pair we make. At least your ex is alive to be a pain in your ass. But I knew what I was getting into when I took her in. Tell you what though. There isn't a coat hanger in my house these days.” Mason sat heavily on the edge of the bed and Micheal realized it was the closest they had ever actually come to talking about it. “I knew she was pregnant. I had this crazy idea that maybe she wouldn't do the math and I could claim the baby. It's not the most fun thing growing up a bastard around here. What did I get instead? I got to come home to a pool of blood in the bathtub because she tried to get rid of it while I was stuck in a meeting. You know what Dad said? Told me I dodged a bullet girl that stupid was bound to have a retarded baby anyway.”  
  


Micheal sank down beside him. “You're being serious about taking Jesus in. Because I swear to god if something happens between the two of you it's gonna break Lily's heart. It makes me a bit Jealous how much she loves that little fucker.”

 

Mason laughed. “Yeah I'm serious. I'm actually gonna do some research into his background while I'm out. I need to know about any new minefields. You know at the end of the day Mikey all I ever wanted was a seat at the table. You're mother has her own reasons to hate me but it's not like I had any say in my conception. I just want to know we're good if I do this. That and maybe you can keep Rosie from spitting on me across the board room when I hand her the company she wants so bad.”

 

“Start with not calling her Rosie. Miss Blackstone would be best. You know she hates that name.”

 

“And that's why I keep calling her that. You know last time she was up here she threw water balloons at me from the middle of the park using a huge slingshot.”

 

The men laughed over the antics of their sister and Micheal finally took a deep breath. “If it's really what you want be ready to commit fully to it. I don't want Lily even knowing your back till it's done. I'd rather claim it fell apart because someone else got there first then have to tell her you got cold feet.” They shook hands cordially and Micheal briefly wondered if Clay would have been another mirror image of their father if he had grown up. “Be safe out there Mason. Maybe after everything is settled we can all have dinner. I can almost guarantee Lily will feed the boy half her dinner and all her vegetables.”

 

* * *

 

 

They parted on good terms and Mason couldn't bring himself to feel bad about the white lies. The truth was he had gone looking for the boy who was his key to trying to have a relationship with the rest of his family. Rosie was the only one who had ever had anything to do with him and it had been entirely antagonistic. About a third of him wanted the boy for him, another third was the promise that he might finally get a real family out of the association. But the real reason, the most pressing and important one, whoever had Jesus could hold something over Micheal. Lily was far to easy to manipulate in regards to her friend and the danger that someone would leverage that was too great. At the end of the day Bastard or not he was still a Blackstone and he was going to look out for his family no matter what that meant. Even if he had to take in a strange little boy who supposedly came from Mexico but named Cuban towns and couldn't quite make his answers line up when he was distracted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am totally not sorry about what I am doing with Jesus Backstory. Now leave me a comment and tell me you hate me or tell me you love me... either way I've got 4 12 hour shifts ahead of me over the next few days. ALSO Story 2 of The Community Her Stallion has TWO KUDOS!!! If those two people didn't leave me such glowing comments I would be convinced it was complete shit.


	21. I was walking throigh a desert and you were my oasis

 

Lily was poking through the line of movies when he made his way back upstairs. “Hey baby what you lookin for?” He crept up behind her wrapping her in his arms. She melted against him and he smiled softly.

“Somethin with Super Heroes. I never got to see any of em. Well I saw Iron Man but they kept puttin out more and I kinda know what happened cuz people would talk about it but I really wanted to see it. Did you know Chris Evans did his own stunts? He was all like, I could totally do that and they totally let him.” Her fingers continued to flip past titles as she rattled on and he laughed softly.

“I don't think I've got them but if you want we can ask Rose to bring them when she comes up.” Lily finally settled on an old Teen Titans pulling it off the shelf.

She tried to sound casual as she pushed the disk into the player. “Who's Rose?”

He scooped her up and moved back to the couch flopping down careful of her various injuries.

“My sister. In fact everyone's coming home here soon for a few weeks. Evangeline always heads back for a few weeks this time of year and Rosemarie heard Nana had come in from Paris and has been scrambling to get back.” Lily snuggled deeper into him pulling his hand up in front of her using his fingers rather than her own to tick off as she counted.

“So there's you. And Rose. And Mason. And Evangeline. You have a real big family. It was just me. Mom had a sister but she got into drugs and no one knows where she went. Dad was adopted and they only ever had him cuz Grandma and Grandpa James were real old. Grandma and Grandpa Davis died in a car crash before I was born and I never knew them though.” Michael fought with the urge to correct her. In the end it would only lead to a falling out and he felt he needed to set the record straight before she accidentally talked about Mason in front of his mother.

“Mason's not actually my brother.” She turned and looked at him with such incredulity he couldn't hold back the laugh.

“Bullshit.” He smacked her once across the thigh. Her swearing was really going to be one of their greatest struggles.

“Language. That's one. Don't do it again. And he's not. My Dad had an affair before Nana. She doesn't really get on with Mason so I wouldn't bring it up with her. We've never really been close. I don't think I've even got his phone number.” Lily turned and took two fistfuls of his shirt pulling him down until his forehead pressed into hers.

“Get. It. Seriously. I have two people. I have you and Jesus. I need to see him and know he's OK and be able to talk to him. I need it. Tell me what I need to do to make this happen. I will eat my vegetables. I will wear those stupid dresses. I will yes ma'am to your mother. Anything. Make. It. Happen.” The most adorable thing about the whole situation was the fact that she was completely serious. It was written on every line of her body. If Mason took Jesus in there would be no getting around it. His mother would simply have to deal with it.

He didn't really have a problem with Mason, he didn't really know him as a person. Mason tended to float among all the different circles. He had trained ponies pets and standard subs. He had even helped with the Latex Dolls on a few occasions. In the ten years since he'd come out of no where on them the only thing he had never dipped his toe in on were the Littles. He'd been respectful of his mother's personal space since that first terrible meeting. Maybe he'd been unfair.

'All I ever wanted was a seat at the table.' With Mason's words echoing in his ears he knew he owed it not just to Lily but Mason to try. “It's not even settled yet baby. Jesus still has to finish his training before he could possibly find a real place. It's almost time for your bath. You up to reading your contract over while I get it drawn up?” He stroked gentle fingers over Lily's face. She'd lost so much he might be better off trying to get Evangeline to take him in. She could be convinced to stay for long stretches at least.

“Not until you promise. Promise me he's gonna be OK.”

That at least he could do easily. “I promise. I won't let anything bad happen to him. We will make sure where ever he goes he's happy and you can see him.” Lily nodded once and shimmied down so he could get up. He pulled the pillows over tucking them into her causing her to giggle.

“I'm not gonna fall off the couch! I know how to sit.”

Michael grinned and leaned in close. “Oh yeah? What if a Giant Stompy Monster came through and was all Rawr Arrr!” He dove in tickling and growling at her playfully as she erupted in laughter kicking her legs and trying to wriggle out from under his hands.

“Daddy stop it! Stop! Eeee!” She'd managed to wriggle herself back to laying and he placed a soft kiss gently on her lips. When he pulled back she chased after kissing him again pulling his lower lip between her teeth.

“Bath, then bedtime princess. You still feel alright?” God he wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her all night but there was too much at stake right now. Everything was too new and too raw and he was afraid of pushing too hard too fast or her jumping into anything she only wanted because she thought he wanted it. They had years to build to that he reminded himself.

 

* * *

 

 

No, she did not feel alright. She was tired and everything hurt and he was dodging her again. She hated being alone. Every time she found herself alone her world started spinning out of control. “Yeah I'm good. I want a bed time story too. I liked that. Can we read big chapter books too. Like Wind in the Willows and Little Women. You know a few chapters every night.” Something she didn't know by heart maybe. She thought to herself but was too afraid to complain about his book choices. It wasn't important enough to risk ruining everything.

“Yeah baby I we can start Wind in the Willows tonight.” He pressed another kiss to her forehead and she wanted to melt under his lips. She had never thought much about kissing before but his lips were soft and plush and made her hungry for more. Apollo had been right. When you kissed someone who loved you it was easy to know with your whole heart. She was coming to love the pet names too. He said them with such tenderness and he only ever called other people by their real names. It made her special.

He stepped away but was back a moment later handing her a stack of papers and a pen. “Make any notes you feel like and we can talk about it in a bit. I'll go draw your bath.” Lily looked down over the paper, party of the first part party of the second part yadda yadda yadda. She was onto the second page when she jumped from the couch and rushed down the hall clutching the papers tightly in one hand.

She pushed into the bathroom where he was still adjusting the temperature. He looked up startled. “Baby? You alright?” He was beside her in a second taking her face in his hands staring into her eyes more clinically assessing than adoring.

“Twenty MILLION dollars?!?!? What do you expect for that kind of money? What am I to you that you would pay me TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS!” He laughed like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and sunk to sit on the toilet pulling her to stand between his knees.

“Is that it? That's the bit you got stuck on?” He laughed again but Lily didn't see anything funny about it.

“It's an impossible amount of money! That's like insane amounts of money! What do you want from me?” She was suddenly terrified. Whatever he could want that would call for that much money was way way out of her comfort zone. Hitmen didn't make that sort of money. She had read once you could buy a person from a human trafficking ring for seven thousand dollars. That's how much a life was worth.

“Well, mostly the fact that at the end of everything if you want to leave you can. We pay for silence. I also took you away from everything you have ever known without talking to you first. There's a few other things and I'm offering you more than most people get. I'm not going to ask for anything more than what's already in the contract. Part of it is me just being a big shot since it's going in the public record here. Besides it's Canadian so right now it sits somewhere around Fifteen and a half.”

“THAT'S STILL A FUCK TON OF MONEY!” She was trying to quell the rising panic and didn't even notice his gripping her arms and turning her until she was bent over his knee. Five quick swats sharpened her focus back to the moment stopping her spiraling thoughts from spinning out of control.

“Language.” His voice was sterner now and he pulled her down to sit in his lap. “That's two. You do not want to get to three.” It hadn't hurt. Not through the diaper and her pants but the warning was clear. This was what he expected. This was what he was paying her Twenty million dollars a year for, even if it was Canadian. “Lily, tell me you understand. That sort of language is not acceptable. You don't have a lot of rules but I expect you to keep to the ones I have given you.”

“I understand.” She whispered softly. She was beginning to understand everything. x If she signed the paper she was going to be expected to deal with every last one of his rules and the consequences if she failed. He planted a kiss on her cheek and she melted a little more. She just wanted to curl up into him and kiss him again. He had other ideas as he set her on top of the toilet and moved back to the tub. She went back to reading. Of everything the contract was what really brought home what was actually expected of her. She read it again more carefully this time trying to focus on the words on the page. He did expect to sleep with her someday. She was going to be reliant on him for everything. Five years wasn't that long. It had only been five years since her parents died. She could do this for five years and come out the other side with a hundred million dollars. At twenty two with that kind of money she could go anywhere and be anything. She could do this. She just had to quit pissing him off every time she turned around.

When he turned back from drawing her bath she reached for him. Anything to stop him being upset with her. There was far too much on the line now.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily had fallen into her own thoughts after reading the contract over. But she was snuggly and clingy so he wasn't too worried about her mental state. He read her the first few chapters of Wind in the Willows and tucked her in carefully before checking her nightlight and retiring to his office. He checked his emails and handled a few things sending instructions off to the various people he paid very well to keep his businesses running. He was just getting ready to close it out when he paused.

He opened his e-mail again.

_Please deliver all information you can find on the maternal Aunt of Lily Anne James. Last name most likely Davis definitely her maiden name. I have reason to believe she was involved in the drug scene. Additionally I need you to make discrete inquiry into Mason Richard Jefferson-Blackstone. I am less interested in his business dealings I need to know what kind of person he is._

He sent it off and was just getting ready to shut everything down when his e-mail chimed. He opened it again. He was aware he employed the best private detective in the States but results this fast were unheard of.

_Mason Richard Jefferson-Blackstone is a better person that you deserve to be related to. That's all your getting on that I do not report on people I call friends. Will get back to you in a few days with initial report on the woman._

Strangely enough Michael was completely satisfied with that. It actually spoke glowing volumes as to the personal character of his half brother.

The next morning he got Lily up. He dressed her in a cute print tee and little shorts. She was quiet and desperate to keep contact. He was sure she would tell him what was going on when she was ready. They ate breakfast and she put a movie on curling into hi on the couch. She was so sweet and trying to be good but something was still off. She responded energetically when he engaged her but if he left her alone for more than a few moments she would just stare into space. She had just fake smiled her way through lunch and he had enough. He had a reputation for getting to the source of the problem with even the most reluctant subs. He had drawn out people further into their own heads than this and he would be dammed if he was just going to let his own wallow in whatever funk she'd fallen into. Without warning he snatched her up wrapping an arm around her waist. He ignored her startled cry and swept her up into his arms. It wasn't until he started down the stairs that she started to talk on her own without prompting.

“What's going on? Where are we going?”

“The clinic.”

“W-why are we going to the clinic? I'm fine. I promise.” She had started to struggle and he only held her tighter. Dumping her on the closest bed. He grabbed a thermometer and popped it in her mouth.

“Keep that there.” He'd learned long ago a thermometer in a Little's mouth was just as effective as a gag. He hooked her up to a heart monitor and an oximeter. He pulled over a bunch of other things that didn't do much other than beep and flash at the moment. Until she was covered in wires frozen in place because if she so much as twitched it pulled on one of them and threatened to dislodge. He grabbed a chart and began to scribble.

She's stuck between where ever she's gone in her own head and whatever it was out here that drove her there. Every inch of him screams to comfort her but he knows the moment he does that she'll just fall back into her thoughts. Begin as you intend to continue. They weren't things he'd invented off the cuff. He'd watched subs of all stripes from the moment he was born. They needed a specific structure to survive a life like this where so much was asked of them 24/7. She needed something. She was the only one who could tell him what it was. The problem was she refused. This was a punishment. Nothing more and nothing less. It would end when she decided to end it.

He took half a step away from the bed intending to go grab a bottle of water. That was all it took.

Lily cried out. She was trying to hold onto the thermometer and babble around it. He shifted one of the machines out of the way and plucked it from her mouth. “Did you need something?”

“Please don't leave me alone. Please I'm sorry please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone anymore.”

 

* * *

 

 

She thought she was home finally. People lived their whole lives here. They fell in love and got married and had families and it was home. She barely noticed as he started pulling monitors off but when he slid into the bed with her she molded herself to him. The tears came fully then. Great wracking sobs drawing up pushing out of her and she had no hope of holding them back. She was trying so hard to lock her heart down. To keep it away from him so that in five short years it would come out no more broken than it already was. He already had too much of it. She had believed in home again finally. It was a lie it was all lies.

“Baby who lied to you?” It was so safe and so warm here in his arms that she hadn't even known she was talking.

“You did. You lied with your kisses and your promises. I hate you. Why didn't you just leave me alone. Why did you make me love you! Why did you make me want to stay! It's all just going to go away again. It's just going to go away like it always does. You're going to send me away and pretend money is going to make it stop hurting!” He caught her in a kiss and she didn't even care he was going to leave. She kissed him back pulling him closer. Lips parting she was the first to deepen the kiss. She needed to pretend for just a little while. She felt like a dried out old sponge drinking up any little drop of love or attention he gave her. Memories she could carry into the cold and the dark like she carried her parents.

“Lily, we should,” She didn't want to talk she didn't want him to promise anything else that was going to go away. She kissed him again her hands finding their way under his shirt.

“No please don't please don't promise me anything else. Please touch me. Please Daddy.” She pushes harder into him any minute now he'll regret this and he'll stop again. He always does. She just wants to feel loved for a few minutes. She knew someday she was going to have to trade her body for something she needed. She wanted it to be for love like in the story books. Even if he didn't love her she loved him enough already she could pretend for the both of them. She could keep this moment when she was alone in her little bed again or years from now when he wouldn't be there to get her up in the morning. When she would be completely alone again. She could remember the feel of his hands pushing her shirt up over her head tenderly ghosting over her skin. Somehow she gets him out of his shirt as well. He rolls her gently covering her body with his own. Tender kisses slid down her neck. He lifted off of her just long enough to slide her shorts to her ankles before his hand dipped inside her diaper pressing and rubbing against her.

He never spoke just kissed her belly as his fingers drove her over the edge. He slid up beside her again and caught her in another kiss. His touches slowed as he stroked down her arms with little more than the barest touch of finger tips. Not yet, her heart cried out. “Please Daddy please.”

“Tell me baby, you have to tell me when you need something.” He sounded so calm so cool and she felt like she was falling into a thousand little pieces of need.

“Please Daddy I need you.” She reached for him and cupped him through his pants. All she could think was how many times someone had come so close to stealing her first time. She wanted this. She wanted it to be with Michael. With someone she loved. Everything could disappear so fast the world could change in an instant. If she couldn't have him forever she wanted to keep this memory forever. “Please Daddy, please I need you.” She managed to get his pants open and slide her hand inside. His body wanted her he couldn't deny that. She could feel the way he reacted even further under her touch.

“Oh god Princess,” He kissed her again and in moments there was nothing left between them. He reached for her and she pulled into him. She wanted to memorize this moment the feeling of his warm hands spanning her back the smell of leather and musk that clung to him. She wanted to always carry the memory of his lips and his breath ghosting across her face. The sound of his harsh breathing like he'd been running for miles. He rolled her to her back. His hand caught behind her knee pulling her leg out bending it at the knee. “Baby you gotta tell me if I hurt you. Tell me if you want me to stop and I will. One arm holding him up over her the other found that spot that sent electricity running through her. He carefully positioned himself at her entrance and she tensed in anticipation. He rubbed small circles into her and she groaned in frustration. “Come for me baby, please. Just one time. Come on, My precious girl. My sweet baby.” He whispered words of love into her ear punctuating them with soft kisses to her neck and cheek. In the end it was his words that tipped her over the edge. “I love you so much baby. Love you so much.” She shattered and the moment she did he pushed into her. There was a small spike of pain but he never stopped the pressure that pushed pleasure through her body. She could feel him come to rest flush against her and she felt so full.

“Oh... fuck...” he hissed holding his position for a moment.

Lily smacked his shoulder. “Language mister.”

The laugh she pulled from his was full and beautiful warming her heart. “Sorry Princess.” But then he started to move and she didn't even care. Her whole world became the sensation of him touching her. Every part of her that touched him came alive. The brush of his thighs against hers, the rasp of a beard he hadn't bothered to shave that morning, the gentle velvet of his lips roaming any where he could reach as she gasped for breath like a fish out of water.

“Oh! Oh oh OH ohhhhh ohhhhhhhh oh oh!” She clung to him her arms wrapping around his neck fingers digging into his back trying to pull him closer. It was everything she had ever dreamed in darkened corners reading romance novels by the glow of street lamps. And yet it was nothing like what she had dreamed because she could never have imagined the perfect feelings of love and safety that washed over her as he worshiped her with whispered words and tender kisses and the gentle rhythm of his body moving over and into her again and again. She came again and he stilled as her body seized around him.

“So beautiful. My beautiful precious girl. I loved you from the moment I first saw you. Love you so much my sweet baby.” She had barely calmed when he began again picking up his pace. Both hands came to cradle her head his weight resting on his elbows. “Look at me baby. Let me see those beautiful eyes. There's my girl. Love you so much. You tell Daddy what you need and he'll give it you you yeah?” He rolled his hips rocking into her causing her to cry out in bliss!

“Yes Daddy! Oh yes! Ohhhhh I love you. I love you so much it hurts.” He caught her in another kiss his tongue sweeping into her mouth in imitation of the rest of their bodies. Her legs came up ankles locking behind his thighs pulling him tighter into her until his thrusts were quick and deep and all the tenderness of the beginning was gone. He pulled back from the kiss. Holding her head to force her to look at him again.

“I love you Lily. You are so amazing. So sweet. So precious. So strong. Daddy loves you baby. Daddy will always love you.” She shattered again and this time he followed buried deep inside her. He held there a moment buried within her. “Lily, I love you so much. Please baby, please tell me what's wrong.”

 

* * *

 

 

He had a small window while she was still riding her endorphin high. He needed to know. He needed to fix what ever it was. He needed to make her world right again.

“You're gonna make me go away. It's gonna be the same thing all over again in five years. I'm gonna be too old or too ugly and your gonna give me all this money and make me go away and I just want to be home here with you forever.” He couldn't help the creeping smile that welled up inside of him. Carefully he moved off her and reached for his phone.

“I want you to be quiet for a minute.” He dialed and hit the speaker letting it ring.

“Hello Sir. What can I do for you?” Marjorie answered.

“I want to change the contract terms before we sign it. I want to go back to the original proposed length.” He smiled at Lily and put a hand over her mouth prepared for her reaction already.

“Michael I meant it when I told you yesterday. You absolutely can not ask that girl to sign on for twenty fucking years. It's a lifetime! It's like proposing fucking marriage. If she wants out it would be nearly impossible for her to start a life anywhere. Five is too long. She's not even twenty years old yet! You can not lay that on her!” He could feel Lily's jaw go slack under his hand and he grinned at her.

“What if we put in an out clause. Just for her. Would you sign off on it then. Once a year she has an option to request a negotiated exit. On our anniversary she can walk into the sheriff's office and request an out but I still get to commit for the next two decades. Hell make it three.”

Lily leaned over closing the space between them drawing him into a kiss. “I love you, I love you so much, I love you Daddy.” She whispered into his lips.

“Michael, Michael who is that. Is she there?”

“Sorry Marge gotta go.” He blindly fumbled for the end button and dropped the phone off the side of the bed going back to kissing his girl.

“You are insane you know that! You are out of your fucking mind! God you're not even there are you.” He could hear Marjorie yelling up from the ground but he didn't care. Neither did Lily it seemed as she tucked closer into him kissing him again and again between declarations of love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended to run it the usual nine pages but I couldn't think of a better moment to stop. Anything that followed would only cheapen this... 
> 
> Yesterday I wrote the first installment of The Bastard's Pet. While the main portion of that will run concurrent. (Chapters posting in the timeline of the currently posted DLG) The first chapter deals with Mason's far past, Sweeping his childhood all the way to Eighteen. It will not be posted until Mason's two weeks away are up and probably go up at the same time as the second chapter. I have two options. I can post it as a single fluid story or I can post it as a separate one. Because it's all one fluid thing where events play off each other I am leaning toward making it a single fluid story. If i do this I will state in the chapter summary when we are stepping off to visit Mason and Jesus. Honestly the bit that surprised me the most was all the Mason Haters. Then again I know what a lot of you were focusing on. He's broken. He wasn't always broken he was once young and idealistic and hopeful. Jesus is broken too. Their story is one of healing and forgiveness. I hope you can come to forgive him. He's just angry and hurt. I promise he's actually a really really nice guy if you can get past the parts of him Alexander fucked up. Then again, Jesus isn't exactly an Angel either...
> 
> LOVE ME WITH YOUR COMMENTS


	22. Perfect Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work is kickin my ass... But I'm still writing.

The after noon was filled with soft touches and easy kisses after they returned upstairs. She dragged out the contract and attached checklist again. “Help me with this thing. I don't even get what half of this is and I don't even know if I really need to think about it so let's just find the good parts and talk about them like I'm a big girl. We need to be able to do that sometimes if you really wanna keep me forever.”

He tugged her down to sit in his lap and she curled against him. “If I agree to wear the diapers, and use them. Will you agree to let me use the bathroom for, emergency services.” She raised one brow at him and leaned in meaningfully.

“What? You get a bath every night. I don't...”

“It's very hard to number two in a diaper and I would prefer to use a toilet.” She blurted out quickly. Please please dear god let him say yes because she was getting really tired of that part.

“We can talk potty training time. You tell me if you need to potty and I'll take you. Help you wipe. Daddy just likes the chance to play with your pretty little kitty.” He pressed kisses into the side of her neck and Lily squirmed under his attentions.

“Daddddyyyy...” she whined wiggling into him.

“Alright lets get to... feeding.” She groaned in frustration and slumped down.

“I hate you.”

“Stop pouting. You can order for yourself when we go out but I like cooking for you here. You don't like your food to touch right? But did you like the bottle? Can we do that again?” Lily could feel how much it was turning him on. She liked that it was more to him than just wanting to take care of someone. She liked that turning him on turned her on.

“Yeah it was nice.” They went over the list again. This time instead of having to delve into things she barely understood they stuck to things he might actually let her try. He explained each one and they talked about what it was like. She finally found out what Devlin had actually been talking about.

“Your friends are stupid.”

Micheal couldn't stop laughing at the misunderstanding. “Baby you are the most adorable thing ever.”

She glared at him. “We need to add picking on me to my no list. And spinach. And naps I don't need any more naps yesterday was an exception. I had a bad night.”

“Uh huh” he murmured into her neck

“Daddy you're not listening. This is a big big deal! I need paper guarantees about picking, spinach and naps!”

“I'm totally listening. Your throwing a fit about being a brat, eating your vegetables, and needing a nap. Baby, I promised to give you anything you need we are squarely in wanting territory right now. Lets review. You Need a spanking when your being bratty and using bad words. You Want cookies after dinner. Are you starting to see the difference?” His hand were creeping up under her shirt again as he placed gentle kisses along her neck.

“I see you being an asshole.” She grumbled. It had barely gotten past her lips when the entire world moved. He had flipped her upside down and carried her by the ankles into the dining room.

Once there he flipped her back right side up again and stood her in the corner. A dining room chair was pressed up behind her It's back keeping her upright in place. He put hands on her shoulders. I'm going to make dinner I don't want to hear a word out of you. When Dinner is made we'll discuss what you just did and your punishment because that mouth is about to get your ass in a sling. If you don't actually make an effort we're going to have a serious problem.”

Lily's heart caught in her throat. It had been days since it last happened not since before Nana came back. He moved to the kitchen and puttered about a moment before returning and dropping an over sized pair of headphones over her ears. Gentle music began to play there were no words but it soothed all the same. She couldn't hear him anymore couldn't see him pressed as she was into the corner. She wasn't sure how long the music went on only that it simply kept going She couldn't help the tears on her eyes. 'Your ass in a sling,' and 'we are going to have a serious problem,' rattled around in her head. Fuck fuck fuck! God she was such a fuck up. Why did she do this to herself! Why did she shoot herself in the foot like this every time. Why couldn't she just have pretended to smile. Maybe if she would have prayed like they asked her to the Johnsons would have kept her. God can lick my ass, was not the sort of thing they had wanted. Now she'd gone and done it again. Why couldn't she just be the good girl he asked her to be! A warm hand brushed across her shoulders. Tender light as he moved behind her. Every hair stood on edge and she took a shuddering breath as it happened again in the other direction. He was setting the table. She couldn't hear him but every time he passed he would make that small contact. When she could feel her breath catch as she tried to silence her tears only a moment later a soft hand would rest gently between her shoulder blades. The touch meant everything to her in those moments. But as soon as her breathing calmed it was gone again. The rules. The right rules. Not the ones from the basement. That was what she needed.

She would spend the rest of her time in that corner trying to suss out everything she would say. Forming the apology she knew he wanted and addressing where she had gone wrong. If there was anything she was good it apparently it was doing the most damage with the fewest words. She needed to learn to do the reverse.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn't want to put her back in the time out room. Not until they had made enough adjustments to make it more comfortable for her. Once was more than enough to tell him it was never something she would take well to. He had found sensory deprivation soothing. His little Lily was far too much of a tactile thing for her to ever find comfort there. So to the corner she went. The chair in place to keep her from sinking to the floor. He still needed to make a call he didn't want her privy to so he grabbed the blue tooth noise canceling headphones and pulled up an album he had purchased of a performance he had once taken Andrea to. He had to accept that not everything she had touched was tainted forever. Some things were just music. That done he started pulling ingredients from the fridge and his fingers hovered over the dial screen on his phone. This was probably a terrible idea. He hit send anyway.

“Good Evening Sir. I assume you're calling about the placement of the boy.” He had avoided speaking to Pamela about anything outside of business dealings for so long. This was his mothers feud not his own. Another thing he needed to let go.

“Actually, I was hoping you had a minute. I need a bit of advice.” He held his breath. It was half an olive branch. She's just another Mistress in our employ here. She's the best at what she does. She's seen thousands of subs and her attitudes are much closer to his own. She's the best person to call. Fuck this was a terrible idea.

“Absolutely.” He could hear the surprise in her voice and he half winced. “Just give me a moment to get to my office.” The other end of the line went muffled a moment. “That's excellent work love. I really need to take this call. Let's be done for the night. I know lovely I know you could have held it longer we can go again tomorrow.” He could hear the sounds of someone being let down out of a harness and wondered who was training in suspension. It was one of his favorite arts. The skill required to hold a suspended position was infinitely fascinating. A moment later the woman, by the sound of the whispered thanks, was settled with a masseuse. He dropped the chicken into the pan and waited until his father's mistress came back on the line.

“Thank you for waiting. What can I do for you?”

Michael took a deep breath. “I'm trying to figure out what the hell happened in my house today.”

There was a pregnant pause. “Why don't you start from the beginning.” Michael explained it all. The contract her freak out over the money the way she withdrew the way they had made love for the first time because she had begged for it. The tender and sweet moments since then the sharp stabbing of her bitter name calling. Right to where they were now. Lily in the corner and him not five feet away watching her coiling tighter and tighter.

“Touch her. Gently. Some place neutral. Try across her upper back.” He stepped forward and did.

“She's pushing into my hand. Seems to be relaxing a bit.”

“Right. Do it again in the other direction like you had just passed and passed back again. In the good news it's not you. In the really good news she's pushing her boundaries. I was afraid she'd been broken completely by Auggie.” The familiar friendly name made his stomach curl. It reminded him that they had all been friends once. Her, Powers, and his father. He wasn't sure what had driven a wedge between them as it happened before he was even born. Before she had fled never telling his father she was carrying his child. Only stepping forward to leverage the possibility of a bone marrow transplant to gain her place back within the community. Despite all this she was the best at what she did. Psychology wrapped into her practices as a Dom made her the only option until Margaret got back.

“How is that really good news? I'm not sure I follow.” He scowled at the phone before stepping back over to flip the chicken and start the rice.

“She was comfortable. She felt safe and she pushed back to see what you would take. You've made promises and consciously or not she doesn't trust them with good reason. Street kids should never be taken directly into a home because they don't have any sort of foundation to build trust on. As far as I can tell from her files she was on the streets about a year. That's a long time for someone her age. Especially if she wasn't using any of the standard ways they use to get by.” It was starting to seem like less of a bad idea. She may be pouring over Lily's private files but at the least she had the decency to handle it delicately.

“You need to handle the next part carefully. You want to build fences not cages and chains. An acceptable scope for her to express herself.”

Lily had started to cry and he stepped back out of the kitchen. _It had worked before._ He lay a hand between her shoulders and almost immediately she calmed. The chicken needed to be turned again and the rice was on the verge of a boil. He had to step back to attend to it. Through out the rest of dinner preparations they discussed punishment back and forth. He kept one ear out for the hitch in Lily's breath that told him she was getting worked up again and would step back over to remind her he was still there and he wasn't mad. He knew how much could be communicated with a single touch. How anyone oversensitive and tuned in would try to interpret everything form the pressure to the tension in his hand. Finally they had settled on something he thought would work and pulled down a divided plate carefully making sure Lily's food wouldn't touch. 

He laid it all out on the table. “Pam, thank you. Is there anything I can do for you in return? You didn't have to set everything aside like you did but I really appreciate it.”

"I'm thankful you called. There's a lot of history between your father and myself and I'm glad it's not going to be a problem with us. I'm here because this is where Mason wants to be. That and I think it's finally becoming the place your father promised me it was. You're making amazing strides at turning everything around. I just want you to consider Mason's request on it's own merit. The boy seems excited about the prospect as well.”

“I've already told him he had my blessings. I know after how everything ended with the last one this was a huge step for him. I think he called her Grace?”

“He named the baby Micheal. He's never wanted anything as much as he wanted to be part of a real family. I don't think anyone's fooled by his desperate bid to get in your good graces. I swear sometimes he's convinced the rest of us are morons.” Micheal laughed. He couldn't help it.

“You know that's why Evangeline can't stand him. Hasn't ever gotten over his editing of her college application essays. Then again Evie doesn't really like anyone over much.” This pulled a laugh back from Pamela.

“Best of luck dear. Call me anytime you need anything. She was so good for Li too. Got him out into the sunshine and everything. We'd love to have her visit again.”

“Thanks Pam. I think we might. Good night and good luck.” The call ended and he felt in turns hopeful and terrified. The evening was going to be interesting to say the least. Gently he turned down the volume of the music down and stepped over. First he moved the chair and stepped up into her. She melted into him and her tears seemed to have quieted for now. Gentle hands were placed on her shoulders thumbs rubbing the skin just over the edge of her shirt collar. Carefully he removed the headphones using both hands and set them aside.

“Are you feeling a bit calmer baby? You ready to talk about what happened?” She nodded and muttered 'Uh huh.' Carefully he guided her into her seat their dinners placed intentionally off to one side in the middle of the table. He took a chair across from her. “Do you want me to go first?” She shook her head but still didn't speak. Her mouth opened and closed a few times and he watched her struggle. He filed talking to Pam about anxiety medication into his mental to do list.

Finally she began to speak. “I swore, and I was disrespectful. I didn't act like a lady. I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry.” His heart swelled with pride. He reached across the table and took her hands into his. She tangled her fingers into his own and clung tight.

“Thank you baby. It means a lot to me that you stepped up like the brave girl I knew you could be. Now I promised we would talk about your punishment together. So I'm gonna give you choices. You can finish dinner and go right to bed. No bath and no story time. I'm gonna expect you to stay there till I come get you in the morning.” He already knew that one wasn't going to fly as her hands grew tighter and tighter in their grip on him. Strangely enough that was supposed to be the quick and easy one. “I'd usually offer you a spanking too but I don't think it's a good idea right now. You're still hurt in too many places. So option two is you get grounded for a week. You don't get to see your friends or go out to dinner. You can come with me to the grocery store but you can't talk to anyone. No TV and no play time with Daddy. Last, we take away your potty privileges for that same week. If you don't want to number two in your diaper I understand. You would either have to go with that or I can give you enemas to make sure you stay clean so you don't have to.” He traced small circles on the back of her hands giving her a moment to think about it. “What do you want to do baby? You were so brave apologizing like that we'll do which ever one you want.”

He could see her wheels turning as she worried her lip between her teeth. “I'll lose my potty privileges please sir. But can I sleep with you tonight? I don't wanna be alone please. I think I'm all full up on being alone for a little while.” Her voice was so small and fragile. He could hear her fears and anxieties in it. He gave her wrist a gentle tug.

“Yeah baby you can sleep in my bed tonight. Come on over sweet girl.” Lily was around the table and in his lap in an instant. She curled up into him tucking her knees into her chest and her face into his neck.

“I'm sorry Daddy please don't be mad with me.” She started to shake and he pulled her tighter in.

“Baby I'm not mad. I was hurt and disappointed but not mad. I know your trying but everyone messes up sometimes, we're only human. If we weren't gonna mess up then life would get really super boring with everyone being super perfect all the time. Loving someone is about loving them through their mistakes. When you make mistakes you try to be better. It's all about give and take.” He pressed gentle kisses into the crown of her head. “You do need to eat your dinner though. It's gonna get cold.” He tugged her plate over and handed her a fork.

 

* * *

 

 

In a matter of minutes he had taken all of her fears and tucked them all away. There was a feeling of safety that swelled inside her. She appreciated in ways she would never be truly able to express the small control he gave her over her punishment. Losing her nightly ritual would have hurt worse than anything else he could possibly have dreamed up. A full week of knowing she wouldn't be able to see Jesus or Jackie or Andrea or even Nana made her stomach drop. Even worse was a week without him holding her, touching her, kissing her. She'd rather slam her head in the door. A week without potty privileges didn't seem so bad. Besides how bad could an enema really be? People did it all the time. 

He let her eat on his lap again. It easily ranked in her top five things ever. By the time she finished her chicken, that he had already cut into little bites, the rice and even the peas, at least it wasn't mushrooms, her heart and head were calm once more. It felt like a hundred thousand things had happened since she woke up this morning.

She was exhausted. She wasn't even aware of how blown her brain to mouth filter was before she started speaking. “I hate mushrooms. They make me gag. Peas are gross but not as bad. Green beans are OK. Broccoli too. Not egg plant. That gets all icky like mushrooms when you cook it. I like peppers. They used to have them on the trays at the community center and we would take bunches and dip them in ranch cups from fast food places. You would be amazed at how much sealed sauces get throwed away. Tomatoes are good but I'm pretty sure those are really a fruit or something.”

“Oh yeah? I didn't know that.”

“Yeah. Mister Jim said knowledge is knowing tomatoes are a fruit. Wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad. I hope he got our box and blankets. He was our neighbor. He gaved me the blanket with the little stars on it for my birthday. I hope he got it back.” She clung tighter as he scooted back and stood. If things went as they usually did they were gonna have couch time before her bath and bed.

“I can send someone to make sure he gets a good blanket if you want. You want to help me make the call tomorrow?”

“Who we gonna call?” She furrowed her brows confused.

“Ghostbusters!” Drained as she was she couldn't help the grin or the groan at his bad joke.

“Daddy! You know that's not what I meant! Don't pick on Lily! I am a delicate flower.” He laughed again the sound rumbling out from his chest and into her. She liked making him laugh. It caused a warmth to bloom in her chest and a tingle to run down her spine.

“We'll call Margaret sweetheart. She's still at the clinic. She does a lot of outreach anyway and she might know your friend. Do you wanna go to bed early tonight baby? You sound pretty tuckered.” She was aware they were just standing in the living room as he held e swaying back and forth. The rocking wasn't helping in her fight to be more alert, so she gave up. The stress seemed to melt out of her bones as she clung ever tighter to him.

“I want to stay with you. I don't really care about the rest.” She mumbled against him.

He hummed softly and continued to simply stand and rock her back and forth. “You wanna use your diaper baby or do you wanna get an enema. We need to decide before bath time.”

She stifled a yawn into his neck and just planted her face fully there pressing her eyes into the slope just over his shirt collar. Here in the warm darkness her senses were filled with him. Strong arms held her tightly the scent of him filled her nose the warmth bled into her. There began a strange awareness of her own body. Long ago she had learned to ignore the things it was trying to tell her. There was nothing to do for her pains and the heat or the cold only made her weak. She had drowned out all it's subtle complaints because everything was harsh and painful in her world.

The sensations now were not. There was the gentle rasp of his breath over the small hairs on her neck. The arm beneath her holding her up didn't grasp or pinch his thumb traced a lazy line back and forth that seemed to have no intent or purpose. His other arm wrapped gently around her back only this moved with more purpose. He traced over her in a complicated pattern that avoided the worst of her injured spots. It wasn't without it's cost. She could feel everything or ignore it all. Each breath pressed against ribs not fully healed. Each time he misjudged how close he was to an injury and brushed the side fresh hot pain tore through her. Her fingers tightened in his shirt. It's worth it. She told herself. Staying with Jesus had been worth the hunger and the cold. Being out of the group home had been worth the worry and the fear. Every spike of pain and ache in her bones was an accepted payment for the gentle touch.

 

* * *

 

 

Lily hadn't answered. She'd yawned right up against him the hot wet breath curling down through the fabric of his shirt warming him from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. She pressed her face into him just over his shirt collar. The flutter of her lashes tickled and made his heart beat out of turn. It took every ounce of his will power to keep his hands moving exactly as they had been. It was a perfect moment. But that's how things went with her it seemed. Perfect highs and terrifying lows. The specter of the next terrible setback hung over him but for now, in this moment, he would do anything to hold onto it just a moment longer. He hummed wordlessly for a few minutes as she shivered and buried herself deeper into him. Before long he began to sing, he was sure he'd half forgotten the lyrics but she didn't seem to mind. “Goodnight my Sweet One, Good Night my dear. Sleep tight my sweet one, sleep tight. Our stars are shining ever so bright, sleep tight my sweet one sleep tight.”

“Noooooo.” Came the muffled protest from his shoulder. “There's all sorts of stuff before bed. There's couch cuddles and bath time and stories and you trying to get all up in my juice box.” It was the last bit that yanked a laugh out of him.

“All up in your juice box huh?” He grinned into her hair.

“I'm working on my language. Don't pick on the Lily.” He could hear the strain in her voice and knew she was in pain could feel it in the way she flinched when he brushed too close to a bruise. Somethings could wait until tomorrow.

“Daddy's sorry baby he wasn't trying to pick on you. You are just being super extra adorable. Make you a deal. We're gonna have a bath and get you in a fresh nappie and then story time and then because you're sleeping with Daddy tonight we can have bed cuddles. Yeah?” She didn't respond for a minute and he was almost sure she'd fallen asleep right there. She mumbled into his neck and he nearly missed it until she lifted her head suddenly.

“And I know that cus I was in it! Did Sound of Music too and had a real actual part. S'better than when I was one of the Cratchet kids.” Rather than making it sound like he hadn't been listening he decided pushing forward was the best way out.

“Really? That's pretty impressive. Did you like the theater baby?” He slid back into the kitchen and started fixing her a bottle tossing it into the warmer as she rambled.

“I liked musicals. I loved the singing and the dancing and the way for just a few minutes I was someone else. Someone people liked. I remember lots of the songs. I used to sing them to Jesus when he couldn't sleep. Do you think he is sleeping OK? He never slept OK if he was alone. I just miss him so much and now I worry because it's what we did. We worried when no one else did.” He let her ramble on as he stripped her out of her day clothes and started running the bath. The worst of her bruises had started to turn green about the edges the few places skin had been split had already begun to heal. He ran fingers over the stitches and wondered who had managed to treat her even that little bit. She had gone rigid and silent under his touch her eyes becoming unfocused her mind some place far away from the tender moment.

“Lily?” Carefully he took her face in his hands and pulled her to face him. He knew she was completely out of it when her eyes didn't follow the outward changes of her enviroment just keeping right ahead. He checked her pulse finding it strong and steady he knew whatever had gone wrong was mental and not physical. Gently he kissed her. Lips pressed over her brow across the apple of her cheeks. He worked his way gently over her face working toward her chin. She tilted her head and caught his lips with her own. Her kisses were needy and demanding as her hands curled into his shirt and dragged him close.

“Hey baby! You got lost for a minute. What were you thinkin about?” A war of emotions fled across her features one right after the next each fleeing before he might identify them.

“I've never hated anyone before.” She whispered swallowing hard. “I'm glad he's dead. I hate him and I'm glad he's dead and I hate that I hate him. I feel like a bad person.”

Every bit of his heart broke for her. He'd hated Augustus for a long time but he'd hated others before him. Her life had been built on a long line of people failing or abandoning her. The only mystery was how she hadn't hated anyone until now. He pulled her into a hug. “Baby sooner or later life teaches us not everyone deserves our forgiveness or our love. If you were gonna hate anyone he's a pretty good place to start.” She shivered in his arms and he began to realize how cold she must be sitting bare as her bath was steaming waiting for her. He pulled away but kept one hand in contact as he shut the taps off and lifted her into the bath.

 

* * *

 

 

There were no bubbles and no games. His touch was light and he'd fallen silent. Was he always going to haunt her destroying everything his memory touched. She wanted to forget the look on his face as he pulled the needle through her skin. She wanted to forget the way the needle tugged at her skin the prick of it so small and sharp in tender flesh, each stitch taking so long she couldn't pull her mind from the moment. She wanted the memories gone. She never wanted to think of him again. She cast around searching for a distraction. There was a small bin just over the edge of the tub tucked behind the door. Bright colors within beckoned to her. She knew it must be for her. Every splash of real color in the house were things he had gotten her. When he moved to wash her back with gentle strokes she reached slowly over the edge and reached in. She closed her hand around something and pulled it back. Without conscious thought her hands tightened around the bright plastic.

“Oh, my, god.” Quickly she spun around on him holding it before her like a prized treasure. “This is Mermaid Barbie! This is for me right? I can have this?” He raised a single brow at her and she knew the smile was born of laughing at her but she didn't care. She was holding an actual real life Mermaid Barbie. There was even a chance she was going to get to keep it and for that glorious moment nothing else mattered.

“Yeah baby, it's for you. You got a whole batch of stuff over there if you wanna check it out.” She ignored everything else he said as she reached for the little gear in Barbie's back. She twisted until it wouldn't turn any more. To her delight exactly as promised it flipped it's way across the tub turning when it hit the edge and following it around until she drifted right back into her waiting hands. She remembered the first time she'd ever laid hands on one. A friend brought it to the public pool where she would wile away her days in the summer. She spent the rest of the year dreaming of her very own Mermaid Barbie. Christmas, it was always we'll see what Santa brings you for Christmas. Christmas came and Christmas went and it was the same year after year. There would be new clothes maybe some shoes or a jacket. There were always a few toys things that were almost what she asked for. That year there had been no mermaids save for a sheet of stickers shaped like fish. Right now it felt like Christmas had well and truly come. Her very own Mermaid Barbie.

 

* * *

 

 

Again and again she wound the doll and watched as it splashed it's way across the tub. From the moment she picked it up the shadows that had haunted her disappeared, and the shivers had given way to nearly vibrating with her excitement. He washed around her playing and even turned the hot tap back on refreshing the temperature of the water. This was it for him. This was all he ever wanted for her.

Everyone had their reasons for whatever version of the kink they fell into. Even Rose and Evangeline had their own predilections for their own reasons. His whole world came down to moments like this. Watching that pure innocent joy spread across her features over a twenty dollar toy. In college he'd given a woman a diamond pendant. He'd spent thousands of dollars and days picking through and finding just the right one. She'd given him half a smile and tucked it away. He never actually saw her wear it.

Lily on the other hand had forgotten her tiredness and her aches and pains. She'd ignored the fact that she was clean and there was an entire bin of things to be explored. Her world was wrapped up in the simple flip of a Mermaids tail. It was the first thing he'd bought. He was in a box store having run in to grab a bottle of aspirin and some bandages between meetings. There had been this deep and abiding ache in his chest that had nothing to do with the outline of the tattoo he'd just started the night before. It had sat to the side of the checkout staring lost and out of place. Carried by some small child before their parents made them put it back before leaving.

He didn't even think about it. He snatched it up and dropped it on the belt paying for it ignoring the gentle remark of how much his daughter would love it. It was a moment of hope nothing more. Hope that someday there would be another. That it wouldn't all end in flames as it had before. Lily might not love him forever. She might leave. Until then he was going to keep working toward as many perfect moments as he could.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song he can't quite get right... That's Good Night my Someone from Music Man. True facts he remembers the lyrics wrong because I do too. I always thought it was good night my Darling. Good night My dear. So...


	23. this is not an update!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an announcement not an update I am sorry.

> <http://archiveofourown.org/works/7209584/chapters/16359434>Since I know a lot of you do not read my Avengers works but are always looking for more DDLG a Tumblr Anon prompted for Daddy Steve Little Darcy and Uncle Bucky all the while wielding compliments at me with great skill. I was so flattered that I had it started before the day was out. If your interested come read Slowly then all at once.
> 
>  


	24. Mason's story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Mason's story.  
> It's been sitting in my e mail for a while because I sent it to a friend of mine who so graciously let me name someone after them... Hey Pam!  
> That and that alone is the only reason I'm publishing this here.
> 
> Read on because it's not all bad news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular fic is dead. Dead dead. Super dead. So done.
> 
>  
> 
> THE STORY IS NOT!!!
> 
> Ok so I can hear your confusion from here. But here's the deal.... this is.... well it's terrible. I put things in just because I was following the "fan fic pattern" I was writing the way I saw other people write retelling the same story evil man virtious girl forced into the life...  
> I hate it. I hate so much about it. But I started rewriting Alpha Omega and realized...  
> I can fix this!!!!! I CAN TOTALLY FIX THIS!!! I am in such a different place than I was when I started writing. I know SO MUCH MORE about how to tell a story....  
> I can publish this.... granted probably only as a e book and no real publisher will touch me of I dont use a pseudonym but I could convinceably translate my kink fic into a full time job.... I just need to get some of the tangles out....  
> So keep an eye out when the rewrite begins I'll put one more chapter here that links to it then mark this as complete.

“I'm pregnant.” It wasn't exactly  
a declaration of joy. In fact it was delivered with all the emotion  
one might use to state that they would like toast for breakfast.  


Alex was overjoyed regardless. A great  
smile cracked his normally stoic face. “That's amazing! We can get  
a bigger house. One together. Jolene will be a great help in raising  
it. She's got a really tender side.”

“You can not be serious.” She cut  
him off her lip curling. “You intend to raise a child here? To  
school it and bring it up here? In your community of sex and  
domination? You seriously intend to bring them up in this life from  
the moment they're born? What the hell is wrong with you?” She  
stood suddenly pacing back and forth across his office. She was  
always a thing of beauty when she was angry. It was that rage and  
fire that had attracted him to her in the first place. She was like a  
tempest in a bottle beautiful, powerful, and carefully contained. He  
had never taken for granted the fact that he could control the storm  
but he had never expected to be struck by it. “I am simply  
informing you why I am quitting your employ. I am going back to Los  
Angeles. I will raise my child in a normal world where they will make  
their own choices. I will not indoctrinate them into this world.”

“You're being unfair Pam. I was born  
and raised here.” He should have bitten it back because the moment  
it passed his lips he knew it was the wrong thing to say.

“And you are an unholy bastard  
Alexander. You are not fit for the world outside of this. Had your  
family not built an empire you would be in prison for all you have  
done. I can not say I do not believe you do not belong there still. I  
have stayed here because I loved you. I stayed because you have been  
trying to right what was wrong here. I have stayed because I believed  
we were helping people find purpose and a place. I will not force a  
child into this life. MY CHILD will grow up in the real world. My  
Child will make their own choices. MY child will not be forced into  
some insane idea you have that the whole world would be better if  
everyone simply understood their place in the order. We are done  
here. I informed you because I thought you would understand. I'm  
leaving in the morning. I do not care if you send my things on or  
not.

  


~*~*~

  


“Why don't I have a Daddy?” Mason  
had been wondering for days. Every one in his first grade class had  
both a Mommy and a Daddy. Even Dale had a Daddy who was in heaven.  


“Your father had more pressing  
concerns than what was best for you. Put your violin back in the  
stand that's not where it goes.” Mason picked his violin back up  
from the table and lay it carefully in the stand. He wasn't sure what  
she had meant but all he heard was that somewhere out there he had a  
Daddy.  


  


~*~*~

  


Dreams are odd things. We rarely dream  
with any degree of rationality attached to them. Eleven year old  
Mason was sure his father was the most amazing person who had ever  
lived. He was a bull rider and sang in a rock band. He was searching  
wildly for his lost son. He held one tiny picture in his wallet from  
the day he was born. The only thing he had to keep him going in his  
desperate search for the boy. Mason began writing him letters. So  
someday even mother, who hated him so much she wouldn't let his  
awesome bull riding rock star father in, could not lie and tell his  
father he had forgotten him.

He told him of his classes and how  
well he had been doing. He was starting high school level classes  
with the advanced program he had been moved into. He told him about  
his accomplishments with his music. How he had been asked to sit in  
with a professional orchestra and do a solo. He told him about the  
movies he was wanting to see and his ideas about the news coming from  
the middle east. He even had plans to redistribute food in Africa to  
combat the sweeping famine. He poured his dreams into those letters  
and his hopes. He just knew his father would be so proud of all he  
had done. He would be satisfied with what he had done rather than  
pushing him again and again to the next thing insisting he was made  
for such great things. Mason didn't want to be great. Mason just  
wanted to be loved. Like real families loved each other. His Dad  
would understand.

  


~*~*~

  


Dreams are terribly hard things to  
kill. Even when faced with a harsh reality. It was the morning of his  
eighteenth birthday when the reality smashed itself squarely into his  
dreams. He was leaving the University library when a man stopped him.

“Mason Jefferson?” Mason gave him  
a quick once over. He had a paper to finish before the weekend was  
out but the man was well dressed obviously a businessman. He hoped it  
had to do with his summer internships. He was set to graduate with  
his bachelors soon and had hoped that they wouldn't hold his age  
against him.  


“Yes sir. How can I help you?” He  
flashed his winning smile. The one that always got him what he wanted  
from men and women alike.  


“Your father would like a word with  
you if you have a moment. He's waiting in the car.” Mason looked  
past the Asian man to the waiting town car. Inside was his father.  
Less than ten feet away was the man who loved him and would be his  
best friend. Less than ten feet away was a real family.  


His mouth was dry and his hands clammy  
when he opened the door and slid in across from a man that could not  
have denied him if he tried. He was everything Mason had ever  
dreamed. An older more distinguished version of himself. Then he  
spoke and the dream started to crack.

“Mason. I would like you to speak to  
a doctor about getting tested as a bone marrow donor. I need a  
transplant and none of my other children have been a match. I am  
prepared to make you a most generous offer for your help.”  


Mason heard only what he wanted to.  
Specifically the fact he had siblings. In the multiple. He had said  
Other Children. He had a real family out there somewhere just  
waiting. Mason nodded dumbly and soon they were leaving and on their  
way to a hospital. Mason had a thousand questions. His father  
addressed a few and when he chose to answer at all, his answers were  
vague at best

  


~*~*~

  


Pamela Jefferson heaved a great sigh  
and dropped her head into one perfectly manicured hand. “Did he  
have anything else to say? What did he tell you about where he  
lives?” It felt like her worst nightmare made flesh. She had worked  
so hard to shelter him from Alexander and his very self serving  
version of 'the truth'.

“Only that their in the north and  
they live off the grid. Mother I have siblings I have this whole  
family you never even told me about! Why would you hide that from  
me?” Mason just glared across the table at her. How could she hide  
this from him? How could she hate him so much to keep all this from  
him? He was going to accept Alexander's offer and join his father in  
the north and there was nothing she could do about it. He would love  
Mason like she never had.  


“Mason there's a lot more to it than  
that. There's a reason I left. Your father, Alexander Blackstone,  
wanted to mold you into something he wanted you to be. I wanted to  
give you a chance to forge your own life. That's all I've ever done  
is try to make sure you had the chance to be everything you could be.  
You are so gifted, so talented. I know beyond anything I have ever  
known that that little world he wanted to keep you caged in would  
never have given you the freedom to grow like you have. I have done  
everything I could to make sure you had that opportunity.” She  
reached across and placed a hand gently over his and he pulled back.

“The only thing I have ever been is  
what you wanted me to be. I have never been enough for you. The only  
praise I have ever gotten from you is the next challenge. I made  
first chair and you handed me over to a professional orchestra. I got  
a solo and you had me in a studio recording a record that never went  
anywhere. Do you remember what we did to celebrate my graduating high  
school at thirteen? You gave me an exercise in economics? Do you  
remember that? Why could we never just be normal? WHY COULD YOU NEVER  
JUST BE PROUD OF ME?” He had pushed to standing at some point and  
now he just stood over her chest heaving with the force of his anger  
and pain. All he ever wanted was her love. Why couldn't she just love  
him?

“Mason, I think it's time we had a  
talk. About what I do for a living. About how I met your father. But  
most importantly, I want to help you understand how very very proud  
of you I am. In all of my life I have never been prouder of anyone. I  
loved you from the moment I knew you were coming and I gave up  
everything that made me who I was to try and give you the best life  
possible.” She stepped around the table and wrapped one hand around  
the back of his neck tugging him down into her. There was a moment  
where he pushed back and she tugged him forward a battle of wills  
until she spoke only one word, his name. “Mason.” She used, The  
Voice, the tone that had brooked no argument and had promised his  
whole life that if he did not do as he was told he was going to  
regret it. He hugged her then gingerly. They had never been a very  
touchy feely family. He did not trust this sudden change in her. She  
had always been so private about everything. After all she was only  
telling him now because his father had come and she was trying to  
control him again. She was trying to keep them apart.

“I grew up in a little town in  
Poland. My father was a dairy farmer and he used to tell me I needed  
to stop trying to be more. Our family had been dairy farmers since  
the beginning of time and I was never going to be good for anything  
else. I ask for more out of you because I love you Mason. I want you  
to be able to reach anything you can dream because you can be so  
much. I fought to find a way out and I had to do it all on my own. I  
found one thing I was really truly good at and I did everything to be  
the absolute best until I leveraged that to get out of that dead end  
life.”

  


~*~*~

  


The entirety of the tale had taken the  
better part of two hours. She had made them cocoa and they had moved  
into her office while she talked and now they sat on the couch as she  
stared at him waiting for his response.  


Mason's mind was swimming with the  
shattered image of his mother. She was a consultant. That's what she  
had always said. According to her that had been mostly true. Right  
until she had needed to find a way to pay for all of the things he  
had complained about. The lessons and advanced classes. His college  
tuition even. Then she went back to the skills that had freed her  
from being a farm hand.  


“So you're a dominatrix? That's... I  
don't even... I can't even... Do you fuck them? Is that how I  
happened? Was he a client?” Mason's chest ached with the force of  
all the conflicting emotions rushing through him.

“Absolutely not. I loved Alex. I  
actually worked for him. Very rich men, and women, would come from  
all over the world to pay for my services in his community. I  
absolutely did not sleep with any of them. It is usually a very  
special moment if you do and it's a relationship that isn't simply a  
monetary transaction. Alex was my lover but he wanted to keep you  
there and raise you in that life. He has this idea that the whole  
world would be better if everyone simply accepted their place. I  
needed to give you the room to grow into whomever you wanted to be.  
That's why I left. Now though I keep an office downtown. Men and  
women pay for my services still but I do not fuck them. Sometimes I  
give them a sexual release but it's not about sex to begin with, I am  
not a whore. Call girls are actually much cheaper. It's about giving  
them a place to purge their demons and creating an environment where  
they can safely free themselves from the demands of the outside  
world. I actually have a meeting with a client tonight. He's very  
special to me. If you like you can come and watch. You can see what I  
do for yourself. It might be best if you understand your Father's  
world before you agree to this procedure. I have only ever wanted you  
to choose your own path. I have never forced you into anything but I  
don't know how to be tender Mason. I know how to push people past  
their comfort zone without breaking them. I know how to make you  
better and I have done everything I could to show you I love you with  
that.”

She waited again. He almost wished she  
hadn't made it a choice. That he wouldn't be forced now to choose  
between knowledge and ignorance. There was only one choice he could  
possibly make. He needed to know. He needed to see for himself. “I  
would like that.”

“Thank you Mason. I am not used to  
needing others to approve of me. In all the world yours is the only  
opinion I care for. Please do not judge me too harshly.”

She had let him drive and directed him  
downtown to the office building he had found in his 'exercise in  
economics,' They entered the outer office and his breath caught in  
his throat. He stared at the office. Deep greens and grays, the  
office he had designed on a budget. It hadn't just been an exercise,  
he had designed her office. Everything about it had been touched by  
him even if he had never seen it. Soft music played and as one piece  
ended and the next began he heard that soft huff. The one the  
microphones caught as he began Bach's Chaconne. This was his album.  
The one she insisted he record. She had his album and it played again  
and again. She had insisted he record it because she had wanted it.  
This was her version of his art work on the fridge. This was his  
mother loving him and the small angry voice in his heart that  
insisted she hated him fell silent in shame.

“You listen to my album.” It  
wasn't what he had meant to say but the small smile she gave him lit  
all the dark places in his heart.

“Mason you played so beautifully. I  
knew you were getting ready to put it down completely in favor of  
books and studies and I needed to keep some piece of it for myself. I  
know it was selfish, but I needed to make sure it didn't disappear  
forever.” He stepped over and she wrapped him into a hug. It was  
easier this time. There was less stiffness in it and he wondered how  
long she had been afraid of this moment.  


The door to the back opened as a man  
stepped halfway out before freezing in his tracks. “Mistress  
Pamela! I thought, I thought you weren't coming. I was just getting  
ready to...”

Mason was very familiar with the  
withering look she gave the man who cringed drawing back into  
himself. “I agree to give you my time. You pay for that privilege  
and it _is_ a privilege not a right. There are other clients who  
would be more than happy to take your place. Have you made your peace  
and said your confession?” The man nodded softly and cringed back  
again. “Then I expect you to wait as you have been instructed.  
Before we begin I want to introduce you to Master Mason. He would  
like to observe today. Do you have any particular objection?”

Mason was accustomed to being the  
youngest of his peers. He had always been looked at as a novelty and  
treated a child. Or worse he had been stared at in awe of his  
intelligence and skill. The look of appraisal as the man's eyes raked  
over him had every hallmark of attraction. His pupil's blew wide and  
he bit into his bottom lip. His posture changed from one of fear to  
eager anticipation. Mason was left with a moment of confusion. No one  
had ever looked at him in such a visceral physical way before.  
“Excuse you?” He snapped and a shudder passed over the man.  


His eyes dropped to the floor. “I  
apologize master. Forgive my boldness I meant no disrespect. It would  
be my honor for you to be a part of my session this evening or any  
other. It would bring me great joy to please you.”  


“I believe Mistress Pamela told you  
to wait as instructed. Go on now.” The man stepped back and the  
door clicked shut behind him. Mason turned to look at his mother and  
arched a brow at her. “Master Mason? Really? How do you expect me  
to pull that off? I have no idea what I'm doing! He's used to you and  
your really impressive ability to be terrifying. I'm pretty sure you  
bullied your way past anyone that ever told you no.”

She smiled so widely he was sure he  
almost glowed under her unspoken praise. “I didn't expect you to do  
anything. I still don't. You are welcome to leave anytime you like  
but I have a feeling that you are about to take to it like a fish to  
water. If this is what you want Mason I will help train you. And if  
Jackson's reaction to you was any thing to go by I will say you have  
at least one client already. He's been struggling with his attraction  
to men and that is the most he's ever openly reacted to anyone. No  
matter what happens I want you to know that in ten seconds you've  
already helped him.”  


Mason thought he would melt under her  
praises. For the first time in their lives it felt like they were  
connecting and wild horses couldn't have stopped him from following  
her into that room.  


Before they went in he helped her  
dress lacing her into a corset and selecting a set of heels from her  
closet. She gave him a silk shirt to wear with the dress pants he  
already had and approved when he wished to go barefoot. When they  
finally followed Jackson into the room he was stripped to his boxers  
and knelt on a pad in the middle of the room.  


Silently she directed Mason to a stool  
along the wall within Jackson's direct line of sight. He watched as  
she slid suede cuffs over Jackson's wrists and pulled him until his  
toes barely brushed the floor. “What is the safe word pet?” She  
purred into his ear.  


“John, Mistress. My safe word is  
John.” He said softly but his eyes were locked on Masons. Mason  
gave him a small smile and a nod and leaned back into the wall  
relaxing preparing to watch and discover first hand what it was his  
mother did. What she had been doing to give him every opportunity he  
could ever desire.  


“That's a good pet. Because God does  
love you. He loved you enough to send his only son. To live and die  
for your sins. You are already forgiven pet.” Her hands moved  
slowly stroking over his raised arms and down his back and for a  
moment it felt like she was trying to talk him out of the whole  
thing. Trying to tell him he did not need this but he only nodded.  


“I know Mistress. I have been made  
in his image. I am ready.” She stepped back and picked up a long  
thin switch. It was an odd thing to see it in her hands. In all his  
life he had never seen his mother strike anyone. He had never been  
spanked as a child but as it came down across Jackson's back it  
looked so natural for her. The music continued to play and soon Mason  
realized that the lashes kept time with the music. Despite their  
erratic seeming nature as they would speed and slow down he could  
always tell the moment the next would land because of the familiar  
cadence of the music. For the first time in years he began to regret  
putting the instrument aside.  


By the time his lashing was finished  
he was a mess of welts and his whole body shook. She let him down and  
moved him to a table before strapping him down. Her hands ghosted  
over his body and Mason began to realize the man was hairless from  
the neck down. “Do you remember what I asked of you pet?”

“Y-yes Mistress.”

“Have you done it?” Mason slid  
from his stool and walked over to stand beside Jackson's head  
reaching out to tenderly push the hair back from his eyes. His nerves  
quieted under Mason's gentle touch and when he spoke again it came  
calmer.

“No Mistress.”

“I told you what would happen if you  
didn't take care of it yourself. Do you want Master Mason to stay for  
this?” He watched as her hands played around the edges of the last  
scrap of cloth that covered his dignity. When the other man looked at  
him Mason wasn't sure if it was fear or shame that shone in his eyes.  


“If it pleases Master Mason, I would  
like him to stay.” Mason slid his hand into Jackson's and the man  
took it in a white knuckled grip.  


His mother spoke next. “I asked that  
he remove the last of his hair. I even gave him the key to his  
chastity cage so that he could shave it if he wished. I gave him the  
option of using any method he liked. I also told him if he returned  
and it wasn't done I was going to wax him and if he cried out he  
would go without release for another month. If he can take it  
silently he can ask for anything he wishes and I will consider it.  
Master Mason, Would it please you to stay while I wax him?”  


Mason was learning all sorts of new  
things about himself today it seemed. He wanted to stay. More than  
that the idea of watching him struggle to hold back any reaction woke  
something far more primal than he was accustomed to feeling. He  
wanted to be there when Jackson succeeded. He wanted to rejoice in  
his success and see him rewarded. “It would please me very much. I  
look forward to discovering what he will claim in his success.”

She chuckled as she slid the boxers  
off Jackson's legs. Mason had heard her say he had a chastity cage  
and somewhere in the back of his mind he was aware of what they were.  
He had come across them at some point in his natural exploration of  
pornography. But the reality of it before him caused an entirely  
physical reaction. Jackson's man hood locked inside gleaming silver.  
His reaction didn't go unnoticed by anyone else in the room. He  
blushed as Jackson's tongue slipped out wetting his lips and when  
Mason averted his eyes from the man he found himself locked eye to  
eye with his mother. She smiled softly and continued strapping  
Jackson's legs cocked up and away leaving him open and exposed.  


“Master Mason, I could use a hand  
preparing the waxing. We'll only be gone a moment pet remember to  
breathe. Master Mason has so much faith in you it would be a shame to  
disappoint him before we even begin.” She stepped away and took  
Mason by the elbow guiding him out through another door in the back  
he had not noticed until now.  


She waved at a chair and he sat  
suddenly unsure of why he was back here as she flipped a switch on an  
electric warmer and the wax began to heat and melt. “I didn't know  
you were gay sweetheart.”

It was less a question and more of a  
statement. But most importantly there was no judgment in her tone. “I  
didn't think I was gay. I never really thought about it much at all  
honestly. I mean, I like girls just fine. Or I think I do, I've never  
been with anyone before either way.”

She just hummed and walked over laying  
a hand on his arm. “It's not an either or proposition. I have loved  
both men and women in my time. You can leave, or decline, anything  
you are not comfortable with. Jackson at the end of the day is the  
one in charge of what happens to him and what he experiences. He is  
given choices and options. I am not going to give you any less  
freedom. There is no judgment here.”  


Mason took a deep breath and tried to  
find words for what was running through his head. “I feel like I  
don't deserve the trust he's laying on me. I keep thinking any moment  
he will realize I'm just some stupid kid way out of his depth trying  
not to drown, but that trust makes me want to learn to swim. You've  
always pushed me to step past that fear and I don't think I could do  
it without you there. I want to see him succeed. I want to help him  
make it there. Can I do that? I mean... is that like... is that OK?  
I'm not breaking all the rules or anything?”

She laughed and he relaxed. “No  
sweetheart. That's actually what we do as a Dom. We help them find  
the edges of their comfort and cross them. A good Dom will take them  
and guide them gently across as they find their footing and lead them  
home again to where they are safe. We are their guides beyond their  
own comfort and they trust us to help them. A bad one will simply  
shove and scream 'sink or swim' as they throw more weight on them.  
Your desire to help him succeed is just proving something I had  
already begun to suspect. You are a natural.”

“I learned from the best.” He  
smiled as he realized the truth of his words. “I don't think you  
ever asked me to do anything I wasn't ready for and you never made me  
do it alone. I'm sorry I said all those hurtful things earlier.”  


She planted a soft kiss on the side of  
his cheek. “I had it coming. I am not exactly good at being tender.  
I have loved you the only way I know how.” She pulled the small  
cart out from the wall and pushed it back into the room. Just before  
he followed he spotted his old violin case tucked back against the  
wall and briefly wondered if it was still in tune or if three years  
of neglect had destroyed it.  


Jackson had gripped the edge of the  
table and was breathing harshly through his nose when they returned.  
Mason silently moved his stool near the man's head as Pamela settled  
between his legs. Mason combed his fingers gently through Jackson's  
hair. “Relax pet, no use getting all worked up. You know you chose  
this. You were given an option and you chose to come here knowing  
what waited. It's OK to want this. You're going to be so beautiful  
when she's done.” Jackson's eyes fluttered open and Mason smiled  
down at him. When the key clicked into the lock though Mason's eyes  
were drawn down. He was freed from the confines of his cage and  
almost immediately Jackson's cock came to full attention. He watched  
with baited breath as the wax was smoothed over his pubic mound. The  
first strip was applied and when it was pulled away only a sharp  
intake of breath betrayed the obvious pain. Mason came to crouch next  
to Jackson's head staying just high enough that he could continue to  
watch the proceedings. “That was so good. This is going to be easy  
isn't it. I bet it will be the easiest thing you've ever done.” He  
maintained the litany of encouragement and praises as one strip after  
the next was pulled as every hair was removed. By the time they were  
done Mason was painfully hard and Jackson was panting heavily tears  
at the edges of his eyes. Mason kissed them away gently. “You were  
so good pet, so very good. We are so very proud of you.”

“He's right pet. I didn't think you  
could do it. You have made us both so proud today. You do look so  
beautiful clean. I knew you would. Fresh as the day you were born.”  
She pressed a kiss to his hip and rubbed gently at his thighs as she  
began to unstrap his legs. “We will take a moment while you decide  
what you want as your reward and you may tell us when you are ready.”  


Jackson rolled to his side, his whole  
body shaking, pressing his face into Mason's palm. Mason's free hand  
continued to stroke over the man's head and down his back in slow,  
gentle, steady, strokes. Jackson mumbled something into his hand and  
Mason leaned closer. “What was that pet?”

“Thank you Sir. Thank you for being  
there for me. Thank you for believing in me.”  


Yesterday if you had asked Mason which  
moment he would always hold closest and dearest to his heart he would  
have answered without hesitation, the day he was accepted to  
Harvard's Business School. Ten years from then if you asked him he  
would still answer without hesitation. Only he would tell you that  
even with all that had passed, it was this. When Jackson Rivers  
thanked him and meant every word. There would be others after.  
Someday there would even be love. But for the rest of his life Mason  
would never forget that moment when he knew this was what he wanted  
to do with his life. When he knew he wanted to be that rock for  
someone and guide them through whatever came.  


It took twenty minutes with Mason  
cradling his head and Pamela stroking his legs rubbing the tension  
away before he tried to voice his request. He started and stopped  
several times before Pamela stepped in. “Would you like Mason to  
leave? Would that be easier for you if it were just us again?”

“No! Please, just, I want to please  
him.” Mason was confused but held silent. It was finally a complete  
sentence at least. “That is what I would like as my reward. I would  
like to please him with my mouth, my hands, my body. I want to  
please him, if he would allow it.”  


Pamela caught Mason's eye over the top  
of Jackson's prone form. He seemed so fragile still and Mason  
wondered if that was why he came here. To have all the rest stripped  
away and be left as his most basic raw and honest self before having  
to put back on the masks and armor we all wore to protect us from the  
rest of the world.  


“I don't mind pet, but I think it  
best if we get permission from Mistress Pamela first.” She just  
smiled at them.

“I'll be in the outer office. Call  
for me if you need me but I leave you in the best of hands pet.”  
She slid silently from the room.  


Mason helped Jackson down from the  
table and the two moved to a low pile of cushions. Mason did his best  
to hide his nervousness behind a mask of control. “Come now pet,  
this is your reward. Tell me if you want something from me otherwise  
I leave it to you as you wish.”  


Jackson curled into his lap, pressing  
his face into Mason's thighs. “Will you remove your pants sir? I  
don't think.... I'm not ready to...”  


Under all his intelligence and sharp  
wit Mason was still eighteen with someone asking to get into his  
pants. He didn't need to be asked twice. He stripped quickly and set  
his clothes aside. He was barely settled again when Jackson's tongue  
slid from base to tip and took him deep. It was warm and wet and  
amazing. Mason fell back fully onto the pillows and Jackson took it  
as permission to continue. His tongue swirled around Mason's head  
dipping into his slit before working kisses down the underside of his  
shaft. First one then the other he gently sucked Mason's balls into  
his mouth pulling a low groan from Mason.  


“Oh fuck pet. Oh fuck.” He tried  
to think about anything else. As Jackson took him deep again but when  
his nose pressed into Mason's curls he couldn't have told you his own  
name. Mason had an IQ of 197 with a vocabulary of over 45,000 words.  
In that moment he was amazed he remembered how to breathe and could  
only manage to even think a total of three different words. “Oh  
fuck. Oh fuck oh god oh fuck.”  


Mason bucked up into the warm wet  
mouth unable to hold back. “I'm... I'm... Oh god...” Jackson  
hummed around him and closed his mouth over Mason's tip. Mason came  
hard. It was unlike anything he had ever known and it left him weak  
in the knees. It took a moment for his awareness of the world to come  
back into focus and as he looked down Jackson radiated such joy Mason  
couldn't help but pull him up and kiss him. He was vaguely aware of  
the taste of his own seed on the other mans tongue but it only made  
him want to kiss him more for the beautiful thing he had just done.  


Mason could feel Jackson's erection  
pressing against his hip and he reached down taking him in hand. It  
was an odd sensation holding a cock that wasn't his own but not  
unpleasant in the slightest. He wanted to touch in return. He wanted  
to give back even the slightest bit of what Jackson had just given  
him because from the first moment he had seen the man Jackson had  
done nothing but give to Mason without question.

“Please sir, oh please wait.  
Mistress Pamela hasn't, she hasn't given me permission to.” Mason  
paused for just a moment and took Jackson's face in both hands.  


“You asked to please me. If Mistress  
Pamela did not wish for me to touch you would she not have put you  
back in your cage? She knows me better than anyone else on earth. She  
knows I would not be pleased to leave you wanting. It would please me  
to touch you. May I?” It took a long tense moment but Jackson  
nodded and Mason pulled him around so he pressed into the man's back.  
It was easier to find a stroke when he faced a more familiar  
direction and before long he could feel his own erection coming back  
in full force. He pressed it full along the length of Jackson's crack  
startled when he brushed against something cold. Mason reached  
between them slowly when his fingers brushed over it Jackson's cock  
jumped in his hands.  


“What is this pet?” Mason took the  
base in his hand and gave it a small twist dragging a groan out of  
the other man. “Oh pet, I love the noises you make. You have  
pleased me so much. With your mouth with your hands, would you like  
to please me with your body? Will you let me fuck you?” He  
whispered softly and Jackson arched into him.

“Please sir, let me please you with  
my body.” Mason tugged against the plug and it came free with a  
small pop that raced through his body and settled right in his cock.  
He reached between them pressing his fingers into Jackson He was  
drenched in the slick he had used to ease the plug into himself and  
Mason lined himself up carefully. He pushed gently trying to take his  
time careful knowing he was larger than the toy he had just removed.  
Jackson had other plans.  


Jackson's hips snapped back slamming  
into Mason burying him deeply inside. Mason hissed in a breath and  
rolled pinning Jackson beneath him. “Do. Not. Do. That.” He  
hissed. He wasn't trying to be harsh but one moment he was trying to  
adjust to the new sensation and the next it was all too much.  
Swallowed by the molten heat and tight grip of the other man only  
this time he wasn't a passive participant. After a moment he brought  
his breathing back under control. “I'm sorry pet. Are you alright?”  


“Yes Master Mason. I did not mean to  
upset you I'm sorry I just, I've never done anything like this before  
sir. I did not mean,” Mason could hear him choke back a cry.  


“It's OK pet. Neither have I just,  
just slow down. We'll figure this out together. Trust me, please. No  
one can dance if everyone tries to lead.” He pressed soft kisses  
into the back of Jackson's neck as he began to move. “It would  
please me to hear you pet. Do not silence yourself for any reason.  
Tell me everything your feeling.”

“I'm afraid I have displeased you.”  
Jackson whimpered, Mason shifted and pulled back driving deeply into  
the other man again.  


“Do I feel displeased pet? Does it  
feel like I want you any less? Do you feel what you do to me?” He  
pulled back and shifted slightly pushing in again driving down into  
him again. Jackson cried out this time more in pleasure than fear.  
Mason reached beneath them and took Jackson in hand. “I never  
wanted a man before I wanted you. You are so beautiful and you were  
so brave. Let me reward you for that bravery. Let me give you this.”  
Soon they settled into a rhythm and before long Mason could feel  
Jackson twitching beneath him. Carefully he rolled them again until  
they were sitting. He shifted until he found the place inside Jackson  
that made him cry out with abandon and just rocked against him  
knowing he was far too close to last if he continued stroking fully.  
He worked Jackson over with his hands kissing biting leaving small  
hickeys along his shoulder until the man was a whimpering mess.  
“P-p-please Sir. Please may I cum. I can't, I c-can't take much  
more Sir. Please let me cum.”

Mason could have kicked himself. He  
had no idea Jackson was waiting for permission. “Cum for me pet.  
You're so beautiful. Cum for me.” Jackson's hand scrambled for  
something anything to hold onto. One settled onto Mason's forearm and  
the other caught his free hand. It covered Jackson's chest and arched  
up over his shoulder Mason stared at it. The lone pearly strand  
glistening in a spot just starting to bruise from his kisses still  
wet with his own spit and he couldn't help himself. He leaned down  
and with a long sweep of his tongue licked it clean away. Without  
warning he was spilling himself a second time this time deep inside  
the other man. The edges of his vision went black with the force of  
it his ears ringing with the intensity a litany of “Thank you, oh  
thank you master,” falling from Jackson's lips.  


Jackson lifted Masons hand to his lips  
and cleaned it with his mouth. Mason swept up the rest with gentle  
fingers and fed it back to Jackson. Every now and again he would  
almost reach Jackson's lips before darting around his shoulder and  
licking his own fingers clean. When he was finally clear he carefully  
eased himself out of the other man. “I'm going to go get something  
to clean you up. Just wait right here.”  


Jackson pushed up onto his elbows the  
raw pleading look back in his eyes. “Please sir. May I keep it?”  
Mason stuttered for a moment. It felt like his brain had just hit a  
wall. “I just, I have, something, I need to do. I would like to  
have that piece of you, with me. To, I don't know, give me strength  
to do it. So I don't feel so alone.”  


Mason slid his pants back on and sat  
briefly next to his head. This felt important. Like there was  
something much larger going on he didn't understand. “I'm going to  
go get Mistress Pamela and we're all going to discuss this together.  
Is that OK?” Jackson nodded and dropped his head into his forearms.  


Mason slid into the outer office and  
the reality of what just happened not fifteen feet away from his  
mother hit him. “How is this not weird for you?”

She laughed and stood walking over.  
“Which part?”

“The fact that you're my mother?  
Let's just dump everything else under that heading because if you  
weren't my mother I could answer the rest of this because what is  
happening right now is damn near the closet thing to religion I have  
ever had.” He sunk into a chair and she came over and settled next  
to him.  


“Sex is something that happens.  
People do it every day in every corner of the globe. I've never  
shamed you over sex but I am absolutely not ever going to watch the  
security tapes.” She laughed and he couldn't help but smile with  
her. “But tell me what you need. Are the two of you finished?  
Because I remember what it was like to be eighteen and in my day a  
couple boys could go for days if you let them.”

“We uh, well, there was actual sex.”

“Good! He's been so torn up about  
everything. I hope this will help him accept himself.”

“Well he want's to keep it. His  
words not mine. He says he doesn't want me to help him clean up he  
want's to keep it. There's something he has to do tomorrow and he  
didn't want to feel alone. Something to give him strength. I just,  
god Mom he's so vulnerable and I don't want to fuck him up because I  
know I brought him to this place and he's leaning on me to say and do  
the right thing and, fuck I don't even know.” She lay a hand gently  
on his forearm and he took a deep breath.  


. “Mason, sweetheart, you can't hurt  
him by giving him something he thinks will give him a little courage.  
You're a bit like the Wizard of Oz in situations like this. Whatever  
they need they already have it inside themselves. You just let them  
pretend you gave it to them. So go back in get him settled put that  
cute little plug back in. Don't look at me like that I saw it when I  
was waxing him. I'll be back in in fifteen minutes when everyone has  
clothes on again and we can after care him back to a place he can  
walk tall again.” Mason nodded and slid back into the room.  


“I've spoken to Mistress Pamela, she  
doesn't see any issue with it either.” He watched Jackson visibly  
relax and he retrieved the plug. Carefully he settled it back in  
place. “I'm gonna go grab a wet cloth and I want to clean you up. I  
don't want you being uncomfortable. You were so perfect I don't want  
you to regret a moment of what happened.” Jackson nodded and Mason  
slipped into the back room grabbing a cloth and wetting it down. His  
eyes landed on the violin case again and when he returned he carried  
it with him.  


With careful hands he wiped Jackson  
down and helped him get dressed and settled back in his chastity  
cage. With the lock back in place the last of the tension bled out of  
him. The man was nearly boneless and moved only as Mason guided him.  


True to her word fifteen minutes later  
Pamela came back in and joined them on the cushions. She gathered  
Jackson into her arms and held him close. “Just relax we've got  
you. You're OK. You are so perfect. God made you in his image.  
Exactly as you are he made you and he brought you to this moment.  
Will you tell me why you need to be strong tomorrow?”

“I want to tell them. I want to tell  
them everything. I'm going to put it in his hands. I'm just so  
scared.” Mason moved closer and pulled Jackson's feet into his lap.  
He turned so his head lay in Pamela's and between them he calmed  
again. “Will you come? Will you be there tomorrow?”

“Yes Jackson. We will be there. You  
don't need to be alone.”

Mason reached for his violin and  
pulled it from the case. It was in beautiful condition. “Well, we  
thank god for small miracles don't we.” He tucked it to his chin.  
“Let's see if you remember the words to this one.” He pulled his  
bow across the strings and the first few notes fell sweet as honey.  


Pamela began to sing. “I heard that  
David played a cord, and that it pleased the Lord. But you don't  
really care for music do you?”

  


~*~*~

  


They woke early Sunday morning and  
dressed nicely. When they pulled up to the church Mason chuckled.  
“You can't be serious. He's coming out at his church? This is going  
to go over like a ton of bricks ma. Why did you tell him it was OK?”

“Their good people Mason. I've been  
to service here a few times. They aren't the super judgy type. I met  
him through this church. Now come on and keep his private business  
private.” They stepped out of the car and walked up the steps.  
There at the top of the steps shaking hands was Jackson.  


“Reverend Rivers I'm very excited  
about today's sermon. We're going to go find seats front and center.”

“Thank you Sister Pamela. I don't  
think I have been properly introduced to your friend. I'm Reverend  
Jackson Rivers.”

“Mason Jefferson. I'm looking  
forward to everything. My mother tells me you've got a really great  
group here. I can't wait.” He watched as Jackson stuttered for a  
moment and he smiled at the other man reaching out placing his hand  
on Jackson's shoulder brushing a thumb over where he knew the worst  
of the hickeys rested. “I am so proud of you. What you are doing so  
so incredibly brave. I just want you to know that.”

Jackson visibly relaxed. “Thank you  
for coming Brother Mason. It means a lot to me.”

  


~*~*~

  


Two days later Mason got the call. He  
was a match. He sat there staring at his phone for the better part of  
an hour. He had a choice to make. He was sitting outside the church  
clinging to his steering wheel when before he released what he had  
done and where he had come. There were tears in his eyes when the  
knock came on the window. Mason rolled it down slowly.

“Do you want to come inside?”  
Jackson crouched next to the car leaning on the window frame.

“I don't even know how inappropriate  
it is that I'm here right now. I just, I needed to talk to someone  
and I don't actually have a church.” Jackson reached through the  
window and lay a hand on Mason's shoulder.  


“Yes, you do. Come on in. It's fine  
that you're here. Out here, I'm your pastor. In the office it's  
different. We don't have to let those worlds cross.”

Mason poured it all out. His father  
had come out of nowhere because he needed a bone marrow transplant.  
Mason had no idea how long he had known how to find him. He had  
offered him a place in his community in exchange. A home there and  
sixty million dollars to get his business started. He had always  
thought it was his mother that had kept them apart. Now? Now he was  
beginning to see everything a little differently.

“What do you want Mason? If you  
could have anything out of this what do you want?” Jackson sat a  
respectable distance away behind a desk as Mason lay out on the love  
seat across the room. It was odd the way the roles had changed and  
titles had flipped but if he couldn't be raw and real with Jackson  
who had given him exactly the same openness Mason was sure he would  
never be able to speak to anyone.

“I want a family. It's all I ever  
wanted. I want people to accept me exactly as I am the way they  
accepted you Sunday. They just opened their hearts to you and let you  
in.” It had been amazing the way they had gathered around him. It  
hadn't even mattered to most of them and when he had offered to step  
down they had refused to hear it. Not a single soul left without  
wishing him well. Mason just wanted a few people to love him that  
much.  


“Not everyone comes into our lives  
with the best of intentions and it sounds like that's what you're  
afraid of. That your father isn't interested in the same things you  
are. But nothing worth having is easy to get. It took me six years of  
fighting with myself to be ready to admit outside of my own head I'm  
gay. I never would have reached that point if I hadn't taken the  
first steps and said it to myself. I think if you ever want a chance  
to someday have a family you need to take the first steps. I think  
you should do it. Even if his intentions are as shallow as they seem  
you need to walk through the door in front of you. Then you keep  
fighting and god will provide a way. Maybe not tomorrow or a week  
from now but someday. If you keep fighting and keep walking through  
each door that will get you one step closer, you're going to open one  
and find yourself right where you want to be because you fought to  
get there.” It made sense. In fact it made more sense than anything  
he had come up with on his own as he had turned it over and over in  
his own head since Saturday.  


“Are you OK with me leaving? I don't  
want to put you in a bad position.” Jackson crossed the room and  
knelt beside the couch resting his head against Mason's chest.  
Mason's hand came to rest on the back of his head stroking through  
the short hairs there.

“I would like to see you when you  
come back through town. I'd also like to see you in the pews when you  
have time. But honestly? After everything you've done for me I'm in a  
better place. I've found a way to confront the fears that were  
holding me back and I can only move forward from here. I have shut a  
door behind me. Can I call if I really need you?”  


 Mason smiled. “I would like that.  
Even if it's just to make sure I'm not dead and I'm still out there  
beating some other poor soul down to their most basic parts so we can  
build them stronger I would like it if you called.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok you guys want to see the rewrite? There's only one way to priortize it...  
> Comments...  
> Tell me everything you loved that you will be so so sad if you never see again.  
> Just scream into the comments that it's coming back and your happy. If nothing else leave me a *  
> This says "Hi I'm still here and I am willing to give the next run a shot."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link to the new version!!!

Well here it is folks, the new, improved version. I learned a lot since this began and It's been an intresting journey. Come join me again when I try to do it right this time.

 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9217505/chapters/20905976

**Author's Note:**

> I don't want to hear that you had your feelings injured or were triggered by something. If your that sensitive what are you doing reading this shit anyway.
> 
> Update as to my previous I quit message... This is sorta back. We will update as the Mood strikes Alpha Omega is still my priority.


End file.
